(no subject)
When motivation crumbles to dust and leaves ambition a hollow shell in the void, the likeness of a pale wheel spinning in place, then you may know that your soul will soon follow.
My work is mindless drudgery for dirt-poor wages. The bowling alley is a dead end; the only reason I stay is for the paychecks. The idea of another ten months of this ignites the blood with frustration. There is something very integral I'm missing, something I'd be able identify in another, but in myself, I cannot see the trees for the forest. There is no one else whom I trust with the proper skills to recognize this flaw, and so I cling to the dying embers of what I am told is hope, under the vain pretense that they will warm me once again.
Let all the hosts of heaven and hell bar your way, the only daemons you will ever need to fight are those that haunt the dark recesses of your unconscious mind.
I truly believe that until we have conquered our own flaws and have become fully human, there is no loftier ambition. And I know that my pain stems from the Buddha's second noble truth- That the root of all suffering is desire. However, I am no follower of Buddha, and I believe that the most rational response to desire is to attain it. Pain arises because some deep, hidden part of me is not prepared for the challenge.