Time for 4:00 iin the morning musings...
I've been working very hard lately, and its getting to me a bit. High nerves and such. I don't blow up at people for no reason, but when someone goes too far, I don't have as much of my nonconfrontational manner with them. I'm told that when this happens, I'm just acting the way anyone would in response to the circumstance. I guess I'm just a bit too nonconfrontational for my own good. I do hate dealing with people in difficult situations. Especially ones where people have to get hurt. I hate hurting people. Life has been late studying in seclusion until three in the morning most days this week. It hasn't been the most relaxing thing, but hopefully my grades will reflect my effort.
I'm pretty happy most of the time, but sometimes I just grow melancholy. I think its affection. I could be in several different relationships right. They are just phone calls away, really. But as soon as I get in one, I know that I'll just be frustrated with the feeling of responsibility, the dedication of time that I sorely lack. That, and people don't really fascinate me anymore. I'm not attracted to girls at all. I'm not making an in the closet plea, don't get me wrong. Its just the girls that I know don't really thrill me. Maybe I'm just holding myself back to avoid relationships. I know that a lot of effort goes in to making sure girls know that I'm nto interested in anything right now. I don't think its a question of meeting someone who sparkles in my eyes. Its the fact that I just don't want a relationship in the least. Just comfort. I'm enjoying living responsible for myself too much to want to be with anyone.
Ah well, sleep wants me. Good night.
I'm pretty happy most of the time, but sometimes I just grow melancholy. I think its affection. I could be in several different relationships right. They are just phone calls away, really. But as soon as I get in one, I know that I'll just be frustrated with the feeling of responsibility, the dedication of time that I sorely lack. That, and people don't really fascinate me anymore. I'm not attracted to girls at all. I'm not making an in the closet plea, don't get me wrong. Its just the girls that I know don't really thrill me. Maybe I'm just holding myself back to avoid relationships. I know that a lot of effort goes in to making sure girls know that I'm nto interested in anything right now. I don't think its a question of meeting someone who sparkles in my eyes. Its the fact that I just don't want a relationship in the least. Just comfort. I'm enjoying living responsible for myself too much to want to be with anyone.
Ah well, sleep wants me. Good night.