Pictures of starving children sell millions...
Live 8...
Well what i saw was a load of old guff.
R&B discuss... well 99% is shit, but the same goes for any style of music if you ask me. Destiny's Child we're little more than a staged stylised nauseating choreographed lie (Beyonce, why are you so desperate to be white?). Black Eyed Peas are just coffee table Hispano-Negro-Ethno bullshit for white people. Kanye West however did a blistering set shocking me considering i thought his album was cack. He referenced Sly & the Family Stone, Joy Division, Public Enemy, all sorts... Top fucking shit.
Velvet Revolver were frankly embarrassing. Sorry kids but they were the nail in the coffin. Rock is dead and needs one final shot in the head before it can be accepted back into a civilised intellectual society. The Who (50% of them anyway) put them to shame.
Coldplay... shite. Joss Stone... posh. Travis... why? Robbie... northern club singer who turned Hyde Park into Phoenix Nights for 20 minutes. He was the best fucking draw by a long shot. If only him and Peter Kay had duetted, lost oppurtunity there Geldof you cunt.
Where were the fucking African artists then? (OK Yousson N'Dour at Eden Project... with fucking Dido), Oh yeah, in fucking Africa, being patronised by wealthy gluttonous Rock Stars too busy talking & whinging and not busy sacrificing their ill gotten gains to the people they're pulling up on stage to sing at as if they really fucking give a shit. (still those smiling 'jungle bunnies' will come do their shit for $50 an hour when we do our new LP, yeah Edge?). Thank fuck Peter Gabriel was otherwise engaged, else the license payer would've been forced to look at 'ethnics' instead of Annie 'FUCKING' Lennox.
Tiresomely, the primary question aimed at Roger Waters & his former Floydrades is whether they'd perform together again. "Never" reply 4 middle-class Cambridge pensioners..."We've had therapy!!!". Oh, here they are, Waters grinning like a Cheshire Cunt and Gilmour gurning like a buggered reptile, doing 'Comfortably Numb' when we'd all rather had heard the Scissor Sisters interpretation earlier in the day. We were hoping for a good kicking and instead got matey wavey bullshit. Where was Syd? Now that would've been worth sending 500 text messages for, 'Wish you were here' with Mr Barrett painting a cabbage on Mason's drum riser.
Paul MaCartney, please understand, i really respect you and all, 'Pipes of Peace' was ace, but you seriously are a tedious cunt. At your bedside table, do you have your false teeth in one glass and Heather's foot in another. No, seriously Sir Paul, you were brilliant! I think your hair dye really suits you.
Mariah Carey, jesus, you can't pull African kids up on stage to pretend you give a fuck, and then Shoo them off like they're the puppies that pooed on your Waldorf Salad. And put some fucking knickers on you attention-seeking slut. Mariah Carey, perhaps the most offensive cunt in the park, apart from Posh Spice Twat mong-mouthing along along to Carey's spastic holler.
Geldof and co. please don't be offended. I honestly admire what you've attempted to achieve. A lot of heartfelt effort has gone into raising awareness about poverty and the despicable world pecking order. (Why exactly was USA obscured on the list of G8 countries at the front of the stage despite being the biggest fucking crooks of the G8? Would we join the 'axis of evil' if we'd televised the USA in a bad light? Probably, yes.) Fuck, as if the US, UK, and Russia haven't even eradicated poverty in their own lands. Fuck me diaganolly the UK's record on poverty is shocking, have you ever been to Bradford? Infant mortality that puts Rwanda to shame.
How can you justify the 'pecking order' of the audience, posh cunt 'gold' ticket holders get to sniff the Stereophonics wrists and drink Pimms and the scum are left looking at blurry images of Bono on house size video monitors with nothing more intoxicating than the thought of Roger Waters lamping Dave Gilmour.
The Kaiser Chiefs? Well, they're still cunts.
Good intentions, but ultimately nothing more than Sting selling a few more CDs in Uzbekistan. But Sir Bob, your hearts fucking there you twat, fair play to you, and your lovely daughters.
Well what i saw was a load of old guff.
R&B discuss... well 99% is shit, but the same goes for any style of music if you ask me. Destiny's Child we're little more than a staged stylised nauseating choreographed lie (Beyonce, why are you so desperate to be white?). Black Eyed Peas are just coffee table Hispano-Negro-Ethno bullshit for white people. Kanye West however did a blistering set shocking me considering i thought his album was cack. He referenced Sly & the Family Stone, Joy Division, Public Enemy, all sorts... Top fucking shit.
Velvet Revolver were frankly embarrassing. Sorry kids but they were the nail in the coffin. Rock is dead and needs one final shot in the head before it can be accepted back into a civilised intellectual society. The Who (50% of them anyway) put them to shame.
Coldplay... shite. Joss Stone... posh. Travis... why? Robbie... northern club singer who turned Hyde Park into Phoenix Nights for 20 minutes. He was the best fucking draw by a long shot. If only him and Peter Kay had duetted, lost oppurtunity there Geldof you cunt.
Where were the fucking African artists then? (OK Yousson N'Dour at Eden Project... with fucking Dido), Oh yeah, in fucking Africa, being patronised by wealthy gluttonous Rock Stars too busy talking & whinging and not busy sacrificing their ill gotten gains to the people they're pulling up on stage to sing at as if they really fucking give a shit. (still those smiling 'jungle bunnies' will come do their shit for $50 an hour when we do our new LP, yeah Edge?). Thank fuck Peter Gabriel was otherwise engaged, else the license payer would've been forced to look at 'ethnics' instead of Annie 'FUCKING' Lennox.
Tiresomely, the primary question aimed at Roger Waters & his former Floydrades is whether they'd perform together again. "Never" reply 4 middle-class Cambridge pensioners..."We've had therapy!!!". Oh, here they are, Waters grinning like a Cheshire Cunt and Gilmour gurning like a buggered reptile, doing 'Comfortably Numb' when we'd all rather had heard the Scissor Sisters interpretation earlier in the day. We were hoping for a good kicking and instead got matey wavey bullshit. Where was Syd? Now that would've been worth sending 500 text messages for, 'Wish you were here' with Mr Barrett painting a cabbage on Mason's drum riser.
Paul MaCartney, please understand, i really respect you and all, 'Pipes of Peace' was ace, but you seriously are a tedious cunt. At your bedside table, do you have your false teeth in one glass and Heather's foot in another. No, seriously Sir Paul, you were brilliant! I think your hair dye really suits you.
Mariah Carey, jesus, you can't pull African kids up on stage to pretend you give a fuck, and then Shoo them off like they're the puppies that pooed on your Waldorf Salad. And put some fucking knickers on you attention-seeking slut. Mariah Carey, perhaps the most offensive cunt in the park, apart from Posh Spice Twat mong-mouthing along along to Carey's spastic holler.
Geldof and co. please don't be offended. I honestly admire what you've attempted to achieve. A lot of heartfelt effort has gone into raising awareness about poverty and the despicable world pecking order. (Why exactly was USA obscured on the list of G8 countries at the front of the stage despite being the biggest fucking crooks of the G8? Would we join the 'axis of evil' if we'd televised the USA in a bad light? Probably, yes.) Fuck, as if the US, UK, and Russia haven't even eradicated poverty in their own lands. Fuck me diaganolly the UK's record on poverty is shocking, have you ever been to Bradford? Infant mortality that puts Rwanda to shame.
How can you justify the 'pecking order' of the audience, posh cunt 'gold' ticket holders get to sniff the Stereophonics wrists and drink Pimms and the scum are left looking at blurry images of Bono on house size video monitors with nothing more intoxicating than the thought of Roger Waters lamping Dave Gilmour.
The Kaiser Chiefs? Well, they're still cunts.
Good intentions, but ultimately nothing more than Sting selling a few more CDs in Uzbekistan. But Sir Bob, your hearts fucking there you twat, fair play to you, and your lovely daughters.