Chase on.... Memento Mori
Remember death. Remember that you are mortal. Remember that you will die. Memento mori. Not so pleasing to hear nowadays, but for the Romans it was quite popular. But it reminds me of a time when I didn't know I would die. I was little, probably only 4 or 5 years old. My mom and I were both home, and I was playing around the house on my own. I decided to play hide and seek with mom, but she didn't know it. I jumped out and surprised her, and she screamed and yelled "Jesus Chase, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I still remember this vividly. Memento mori, it's not hard to remember the times you deal with death. It's a lot harder to try to forget them. Anyway, I was still laughing from my game, but I managed to ask "What's a heart attack?" That's when mom explained to me that people don't live forever. We die. She told me what death is, and I didn't like it. I remember being so scared, and I ran into the living room and threw myself on the big brown couch and cried and cried until my dad came home. I was kicking and yelling "I don't want to die!"
Only few years later my dad was put in the hospital for his first heart attack. I didn't know why he was in the hospital, but I knew he was, even though I was too young to visit him and didn't get to see him. I was at home with mom again after this happened when we got a phone call. It was from the hospital, and they were telling mom that dad had another heart attack while he was in the hospital. All I overheard was my mom saying "He had a heart attack in the hospital?" And then, memento mori, I remembered my lesson on death. Mom didn't have a chance to explain everything to me that day years ago, so when I heard my dad had a heart attack, I thought that was it. I thought he was dead. This time I threw myself onto the bed in the next room and started crying, I yelled "No! I don't want dad to die!" and kept kicking and crying. Soon mom got off of the phone and calmed me down enough to explain that people don't always die from heart attacks. She told me my daddy was okay, but she'd have to go see him again, and I'd have to stay with mommaw and poppaw again.
Nowadays I don't deal very much with death. My Aunt Nora died this weekend, but I couldn't go to the funeral today. Recently a good friend's father died, and just before that one of my neighbors died. I haven't been to a funeral since I was little, since before I knew that death existed. I understand death, but it's still not a real thing to me. I haven't really seen what it does, haven't seen a dead body. It's been over 15 years since I first learned about death, and I think I'm still learning about it.
Only few years later my dad was put in the hospital for his first heart attack. I didn't know why he was in the hospital, but I knew he was, even though I was too young to visit him and didn't get to see him. I was at home with mom again after this happened when we got a phone call. It was from the hospital, and they were telling mom that dad had another heart attack while he was in the hospital. All I overheard was my mom saying "He had a heart attack in the hospital?" And then, memento mori, I remembered my lesson on death. Mom didn't have a chance to explain everything to me that day years ago, so when I heard my dad had a heart attack, I thought that was it. I thought he was dead. This time I threw myself onto the bed in the next room and started crying, I yelled "No! I don't want dad to die!" and kept kicking and crying. Soon mom got off of the phone and calmed me down enough to explain that people don't always die from heart attacks. She told me my daddy was okay, but she'd have to go see him again, and I'd have to stay with mommaw and poppaw again.
Nowadays I don't deal very much with death. My Aunt Nora died this weekend, but I couldn't go to the funeral today. Recently a good friend's father died, and just before that one of my neighbors died. I haven't been to a funeral since I was little, since before I knew that death existed. I understand death, but it's still not a real thing to me. I haven't really seen what it does, haven't seen a dead body. It's been over 15 years since I first learned about death, and I think I'm still learning about it.