New fic: "Baby, You Can Drive My Car", Lee/Andrei, Lee/Jer
Title: Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Fandom: The Slave Breakers
Pairings: Lee/Andrei, Lee/Jer
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3700
Summary: Being the focus of two lovers isn't always easy, especially when the two men involved are polar opposites.
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to A Diffident Confidence, a Lee/Andrei h/c story. I became fascinated with Mac's newest contribution to her own canon in this entry in which it's revealed that Jer moves into Andrei's estate and must be there a fair amount of the time. I've had a tremendously fun time imagining that dynamic and how it would affect Lee. I'd intended this story to be a steamy, sexy romp, and instead Lee and Andrei talked. And talked. And then there was driving. My apologies to the Beatles for the title, but I couldn't resist. Self-beta'ed, so if you see something, please let me know. And my usual depths of gratitude to Mac for this world and letting us write in it. Crossposted to slavebreakers.
Lee awoke to a familiar pungent musk. That, combined with the furred chest under his cheek let him know for certain that he was in Jer's arms, not Andrei's. The sheets throughout the rooms of Andrei's estate were all deliciously soft and he stretched his legs, curling his toes against the balls of his feet. Jer, held in the thrall of sleep, grunted and pulled Lee closer. Lee's inner clock was attuned to Andrei's schedule, however, which wouldn't let him remain in bed. He slithered out of Jer's arms, praying obliquely to Sif that Jer wouldn't wake up. Jer had consumed a vast quantity of something potent out of Andrei's liquor cabinet and Lee didn't doubt that he'd be suffering a hangover upon awakening. As he put on his tunic, he wondered, not for the first time, how two men who were so different could both profess to love him.
You love both of them too, he found himself thinking as he crept out of Jer's bedroom and headed for the kitchen. While scooping coffee into the coffee maker, he paused for a moment, his hearing attuned to even the slightest variance in case Andrei was coming down the stairs. Silence drifted down toward him; he was still the only person awake in the house.
Once the coffee was percolating, he stretched for a bit, bending at the waist and planting his hands ahead of him on the floor to make an elongated triangle. He barely noticed the play of fabric against the healed welts on his back anymore, but when he squeezed his backside, his sore muscles reminded him of just how vigorously Jer had fucked him last night. Lee shook a curl out of his eye, blowing the irritating hair out of the way before righting himself.
What if you had to choose? he mused, cracking his knuckles while the coffee maker puffed and made mechanical chortling sounds until it beeped its finality. He stared at the carafe of dark liquid, feeling heavy of heart in a way he hadn't since Jer had returned from his latest adventure. Jer was independent in ways Lee recognized he might never be. He was his own man as much as Andrei. They had experienced life and surmounted difficulties, while all Lee had done since being freed was a bit of manual work, very little travel and learned to drive
"Good morning, beautiful."
Lee turned at Andrei's voice, delighting in the sleepy look on Andrei's face that lasted until at least his second cup of coffee.
"Good morning Andrei. Did you miss me?"
The words escaped Lee's lips, errant and slippery, unable for him to snatch back. He was cringing at his thoughtlessness as Andrei padded over, rubbing at his eyes before opening a cabinet to retrieve a mug.
"You know I did. But I don't own you. Not anymore. And while I'd never want to get on his bad side, I really don't mind having Jer here in my home. He'd die first before you were hurt again."
"I know. It's a shame we can't all be together. Y'know. Bed-wise."
Andrei managed an incredulous look despite his sleepy state and shook his head as he poured his coffee.
"You know I love you more than anything, but Jer has made it quite clear that he's not attracted to me. And I'm not insulted," the nobleman added quickly as Lee walked over.
Lee pressed his chest to Andrei's back, holding him tightly around the waist. "It's not that and you know it," Lee murmured into Andrei's ear before releasing him. He gently lifted his long red hair out of the way to give him a soft, lingering kiss on the sensitive skin at the back of his neck. Andrei made a low, needy sound.
"That's not fair, sweetheart. I slept alone last night. You didn't."
"I know." Lee grinned innocently against Andrei's fragrant skin, but then sobered and walked around to face him. "Is it really okay that Jer lives here, at least some of the time?"
Andrei blew on his coffee and took a sip, obviously contemplating his response. For a startling moment he looked old to Lee, or older than he thought of him. There were the beginnings of lines at the corner of his eyes, though his face was quite youthful.
"Of course it's okay or I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me. I'm part of a changing world, and I'll admit, there are times when it's really not easy. I hate even to say this, but I haven't kept any secrets from you and you, dear gorgeous boy, can read me like a book."
Lee felt his eyes widen. "What is it?" His heart began to thump in his chest, fear about the unknown rising with a force that hadn't happened in ages.
"Oh honey, nothing awful. Let's sit down."
Andrei pulled out a chair and sat down, placing his coffee cup on the table. Lee surprised himself by reverting to an action he'd done often in his slave days, when he had so desperately craved security and the tenderness that Andrei had lavished on him with such generosity. He sat on Andrei's lap, stroking his sharp jaw. Andrei closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head in Lee's palm like a tranquil cat, and then opened his light eyes.
"This is terrible to say," he murmured. "Sometimes - only on occasion - I wish we'd won the case. That you would still be solely mine. That you couldn't leave," he finished in a hoarse whisper.
Lee felt his heart ache for him even though he'd grown to cherish his freedom. For all of his luxuries, intelligence, and very handsome appearance, Andrei was afraid? No, Lee decided, it was that he lived in some kind of dread of some day when he would be all alone again.
"Andrei," said Lee. He kissed him, slow and thoroughly, trying to express his gratitude, his love, and a reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not for a long, long time. "Don't worry," he went on fervently. "And don't feel bad. You bought Mona thinking she'd be with you forever, and she wanted you to be her master. I wanted you to be my master, too. You've let Jer stay, and you don't seem to get jealous about him " His voice trailed off.
"It wouldn't do me any good," said Andrei, his tone resigned. "You are indeed a delicate, complicated man. I remember Holden describing you that way once. Do you remember sharing that letter with me? He's incredibly insightful." He reached around Lee to take another swallow of coffee.
A confusion of feelings swirled in Lee's head, making him dizzy. He couldn't choose between Jer and Andrei. They both meant too much to him. But he knew that Andrei needed him now. Jer would take care of himself whenever he decided to roll out of bed and would probably go to visit Holden and his household.
"Would you like to take your pleasure with me?" Lee asked softly, the words no longer strange in his mouth.
"That's sweet of you to offer, but " Andrei's expression turned wistful. "I'm happy to wait."
Suddenly Lee knew what to do, his slave's well-honed skills guiding his words and actions in a manner that made him feel confident.
"How about we just snuggle for a bit, then," he suggested, nuzzling Andrei's neck. "Later today I'll get to take you for a long drive, and I'm really looking forward to it."
"I am, too."
Andrei was rubbing Lee's back, and Lee smiled inwardly at his success. He would make Andrei feel better, his former master who had never once hurt him or even raised his voice in anger. Lee stopped by the opulent bathroom suite in Andrei's room and made sure he was clean. It struck him with the force of a crashing wave just how different he and his life had become. As he finger-combed his messy hair, he realized that he was actually being somewhat devious in order to seduce Andrei. Unbidden, he was assaulted by a memory: being delirious with anxiety, sandwiched between Bran, who'd murmured affections Lee couldn't even comprehend at the time, Holden fucking him for the first time, and Lee feeling safe. At last he'd been safe with a master.
"You're beautiful, sweetheart. Quit preening and hold me like you so generously offered. Please."
Andrei's voice jolted Lee from his reverie back to the present. An earnest young man looked back at him from the mirror, thin but not gaunt, contentment in his expression.
"By the Ash," he whispered, amazed, and then went to the bedroom.
Snuggling did allow Lee subtly to put his skills to work, earning him an enthusiastic but very tender fucking. Afterwards Andrei lay spooned behind him, mouthing a trail of kisses along the skin behind his ear.
"You cheated," said Andrei, his voice husky.
"Maybe," admitted Lee, smiling to himself.
"You manipulated me into having sex with you."
"But you liked it!"
Andrei nibbled on Lee's earlobe, and he let out a yelp.
"Of course. But now I'll worry that that perfect backside of yours will be too sore for our trip. You haven't had to say anything, but I know that Jer is a big man, in every way."
Lee started to protest, even though it was the truth, but Andrei squeezed him closer in his arms.
"It doesn't matter. As long as you're not sharing yourself with me out of pity."
At that, Lee turned over, feeling as though he'd been punched. "I had sex with you because I wanted to. I can't be with you both at the same time, but I would never even think that well " Lee felt his confidence eroding away as he looked into Andrei's face. There he saw such raw love for him, yet he couldn't help but think of the more gruff but equally powerful expressions in Jer's words. Maybe he did feel sorry for Andrei after all. The thought made him feel slightly nauseous.
"It's complicated," said Andrei, resting his hand on Lee's hip. "Let's just leave it at that. Oh- I have a little something for you. I was going to wait until we left, but I'd like to give it to you now."
Lee didn't protest as Andrei got up and pulled on a silken bathrobe, heading for his study. Andrei was often giving Lee little tokens of affection, and after months of insisting that sharing Andrei's house, life and freedom was more than he'd ever expected, Lee had quit resisting. It was just in Andrei's nature to be expansive and giving, and with Mona off at university, Lee was the favored recipient. That said, even Jer had grudgingly accepted a nice ink pen when he'd moved in his belongings. He'd expressed his discomfort about the whole situation with his usual profanity and forthrightness later to Lee, but Lee was able to convince him it would all work out.
Andrei walked back in, untied his bathrobe and slid under the covers. He had a short box in his hand.
"Andrei," said Lee weakly as he took the box.
"I know. You don't need anything. It's symbolic. Just open it."
The hinges creaked as Lee opened the box. Inside was a keychain with a leather tag. 'Lee' had been etched into it with a decorative border, and there was a single key on it. Andrei had given him a house key the day after he'd been granted his freedom, so this had to be-
"It's for your car?" he asked, incredulous.
Andrei nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "You were so clever, having Bran teach you to drive. I don't use the car all that often, and I'm happy to share. And you might want to take Jer off to the beach or something. He seems to have an aversion to anything other than public transportation, but he would trust riding with you."
Lee was speechless. He ran his finger along the delicate etching of the leather and then the jagged teeth of the key.
"The only thing I ask is that you not have sex in it."
Lee's gaze snapped to Andrei's. Was he kidding?
"I'd never-"
"Unless it's with me." Andrei kissed him formally on both cheeks, a gesture that caused tears to spring to Lee's eyes. "And I'm not really kidding. You've either inspired me or I'm somehow getting less inhibited thanks to you being in my life."
Lee grasped his jaw and ferociously kissed him. "I'm yours."
"Well " Andrei's pale cheeks colored. Despite having initially bought Lee as a sex slave, Andrei was quite traditional in his tastes. Or he had been. "I had hoped once we got into the wilds of the park, maybe before our picnic, you would take me. We could christen the car, in honor of your first long drive."
Lee couldn't help but let out a choked laugh. "A car's an awfully small and awkward place to have sex, don't you think?"
Andrei's lips twitched. "Well, yes. It seemed romantic when I thought about it. Never mind. It was a silly idea. I'm just so proud-"
"Oh no you don't, Andrei Taganov," interrupted Lee. It wasn't often that he ever addressed his former master by his full name, and there was something powerful in being able to do so. "You don't get to change the subject. I love that you've been imagining this day of driving as a chance to be " He paused for effect, Andrei's blue eyes wide and trained on him. " kinky."
Andrei pursed his lips, then smiled widely. "I do like to surprise you every once in a while if possible."
"More than you realize. But it's not like regular sex with you is boring."
"Oh, good," said Andrei with mock relief. "I'd hate to think that you spend the night with me out of pity or to look forward to boring sex with your former master."
Lee's playfulness vanished. He hadn't experienced Andrei's sarcasm before, and it was like being scraped with barbed wire.
"Look!" he fumed. "I love you. I don't pity you. How under the Ash could I ever pity you? I do love you, and have loved sharing myself with you since the first night I was here. Jer literally saved my life. I hate it when he goes away sometimes because I'm afraid he won't come back. I love him, too."
He was breathing heavily, adrenaline racing through his body. Andrei gazed at him, surprise etched on his features. Slowly he shook his head.
"I don't think I've ever had more respect for Holden Larssen than right now," he said quietly.
Just the regular, calm tone to his voice was enough for Lee to feel his anger subside.
"Holden? Why?"
Andrei reached out and traced along Lee's sternum with a long finger. "You're the one who's told me about life at his home. He loves hard and deeply, and not just one person at a time. He, too, probably never expected that he could be left alone. Except for his wife, though I suppose she could divorce him. I don't imagine that she would, though."
Lee was a punctured balloon. He felt miserable, and wanted to crawl into the security of Andrei's arms. "I don't want to leave you," he said helplessly, clinging to Andrei, who did not respond in kind. "I'm just confused. Or, well, I just never expected this."
Something hard was jabbing his ribs and he discovered it was the gift box. He closed it and reached behind him to put it on his bedside table, hoping that Andrei would understand that it meant he was gratefully keeping it.
"I don't mean to make you jealous or hurt you," he sniffed, since tears had followed his anger.
Andrei held Lee close as he cried for a few minutes, more frustrated than anything else. Soon he was just making pitiful whimpering sounds, and Andrei soothed him, rubbing his back with a warm touch.
"Beautiful Lee," said Andrei in a hushed tone. "I've been letting you be with Jer since back when I owned you and you had to ask my permission. It would be hypocritical, not to mention simply wrong to ask you not to spend time with someone you care about so much. I'll survive the nights when I sleep alone. I did so for many years."
"But you bought me so you'd have someone to sleep with," insisted Lee, now drowning in guilt.
"I bought you because of how you tasted from that first kiss, the inappropriate one." Andrei's voice took on a dreamy quality, and Lee began to feel the smallest bit of reassurance creep into his chest. "You've come so far, and I'm privileged to have given you a safe home where you could heal and mature. I'm grateful for every night you're with me. Just do me one favor."
"Anything," said Lee, rubbing at his wet nose.
"If you feel that you'd rather be with Jer, or if your feelings guide you that way, please tell me. Don't be afraid to tell me that. I would not look forward to trying to find another lover at this point in my life, it's true, but the world won't stop turning. Your happiness is more important to me."
Hot and cold flashed through Lee. "I'd never even," he began, stumbling over the words. "I can't imagine not being with you. I love Jer, but Jer's Jer." He leaned his head back to be able to look into Andrei's face. "He'll want his own place. And he'll always come back to me. But he's not- settled. He wants to see the world. And he's older."
Andrei chuckled. "I'm older too, honey."
"Not as old as he is. You've been free all your life. He I " Lee grasped at words, trying to express the contradictions and confusion whirling in his heart. "I need you. And I need Jer, too. In a different way."
"It's complicated, but not insurmountable," said Andrei. "But I need you to be true to yourself. You owe that to yourself, most of all."
"I'm just learning how to do this!" Lee hated how pathetic he sounded, but it was the truth. "I don't ever really want to be a slave again, but just like you said, every once in a while, I think about it. Especially with you. I knew you'd never hurt me. In some ways, though, it was easier."
Andrei looked at him, compassion warm in his eyes. "Just take things one day at a time. You never know what may happen."
"You could break both wrists," said Lee, thinking of Andrei's accident from a couple of months prior.
"I already did! I'd try not to do that, if I were you." A smile eased onto Andrei's lips. "And as much as I'm glad to talk about these things, because they are very important, I think we should get cleaned up and get our picnic together. I'm ready to be impressed by your long-distance driving."
"Okay." Lee couldn't help but hold Andrei in a hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
* * * * *
Lee took a last quick look around the kitchen to make sure he'd not forgotten anything, but it was all packed in the car that purred in the driveway. Even Andrei was waiting for him. Lee was scrawling a hasty note to Jer when he came lumbering out of his room, rubbing at his temples.
"Where's the aspirin in this mansion?" he rumbled, pulling Lee into an embrace.
"There's some in Mona's bathroom cabinet. How do you feel?" Lee leaned back to see Jer's bloodshot eyes and grey stubble on his jaw.
"Like shit. Go on- I know you have a big day. I'll go see Holden later. Probably stay there a couple of days."
"Phone me tonight, okay?"
Jer's wide fingers rubbed at the base of his spine. "No promises. Might be playing cards and getting drunk."
"Why would you do that?" asked Lee, genuinely perplexed. "Do you like feeling awful?"
"I'll explain some other time. Right now I need coffee."
Lee kissed him quickly on the cheek and bounded toward the door. "Love you!" he called out over his shoulder.
Jer made a grunt of acknowledgment and Lee smiled, blinking into the sunlight once through the door.
"Was Jer up?" Andrei asked as Lee slid into the driver's seat, his attentions temporarily captivated by the leather keychain dangling from the ignition.
"Yes. He's hungover."
"Hmmmph. I must admit I'm not sorry to miss that."
Lee snorted and carefully put the car into gear. "Neither am I. He gets really cranky when he has a headache."
With increasing confidence, Lee eased up on the clutch and guided the car toward the main road. After several minutes had passed and he was on the thoroughfare out of the city, he noticed a strange sound. He'd been concentrating due to the traffic, knowing just how expensive of an automobile Andrei owned. He turned his head and realized that Andrei was humming something to himself.
"Sorry," said Andrei, looking embarrassed. "I have a song stuck in my head."
"I don't mind," said Lee hurriedly. "You have a nice voice."
Andrei quirked a smile. "You're kind to say so." After a pause, he continued, "Life with you is more of an adventure than I ever could have imagined."
As Lee watched the trees whiz past, his hands gripped on the leather steering wheel, he nodded his agreement.
"Holden taught me a lot, but you've been "
"Life is your teacher. I'm just glad to be a guide. Now keep your eyes on the road, and I'll be navigator."
Another quarter of an hour or so passed, and Lee had begun to relax into his role as driver when Andrei said, "You're truly amazing. A miracle, really."
Lee felt himself flush. "I'm just me." He glanced at Andrei, whose expression of unfettered adoration nearly caused Lee to swerve out of his lane.
"Exactly."
Fandom: The Slave Breakers
Pairings: Lee/Andrei, Lee/Jer
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3700
Summary: Being the focus of two lovers isn't always easy, especially when the two men involved are polar opposites.
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to A Diffident Confidence, a Lee/Andrei h/c story. I became fascinated with Mac's newest contribution to her own canon in this entry in which it's revealed that Jer moves into Andrei's estate and must be there a fair amount of the time. I've had a tremendously fun time imagining that dynamic and how it would affect Lee. I'd intended this story to be a steamy, sexy romp, and instead Lee and Andrei talked. And talked. And then there was driving. My apologies to the Beatles for the title, but I couldn't resist. Self-beta'ed, so if you see something, please let me know. And my usual depths of gratitude to Mac for this world and letting us write in it. Crossposted to slavebreakers.
Lee awoke to a familiar pungent musk. That, combined with the furred chest under his cheek let him know for certain that he was in Jer's arms, not Andrei's. The sheets throughout the rooms of Andrei's estate were all deliciously soft and he stretched his legs, curling his toes against the balls of his feet. Jer, held in the thrall of sleep, grunted and pulled Lee closer. Lee's inner clock was attuned to Andrei's schedule, however, which wouldn't let him remain in bed. He slithered out of Jer's arms, praying obliquely to Sif that Jer wouldn't wake up. Jer had consumed a vast quantity of something potent out of Andrei's liquor cabinet and Lee didn't doubt that he'd be suffering a hangover upon awakening. As he put on his tunic, he wondered, not for the first time, how two men who were so different could both profess to love him.
You love both of them too, he found himself thinking as he crept out of Jer's bedroom and headed for the kitchen. While scooping coffee into the coffee maker, he paused for a moment, his hearing attuned to even the slightest variance in case Andrei was coming down the stairs. Silence drifted down toward him; he was still the only person awake in the house.
Once the coffee was percolating, he stretched for a bit, bending at the waist and planting his hands ahead of him on the floor to make an elongated triangle. He barely noticed the play of fabric against the healed welts on his back anymore, but when he squeezed his backside, his sore muscles reminded him of just how vigorously Jer had fucked him last night. Lee shook a curl out of his eye, blowing the irritating hair out of the way before righting himself.
What if you had to choose? he mused, cracking his knuckles while the coffee maker puffed and made mechanical chortling sounds until it beeped its finality. He stared at the carafe of dark liquid, feeling heavy of heart in a way he hadn't since Jer had returned from his latest adventure. Jer was independent in ways Lee recognized he might never be. He was his own man as much as Andrei. They had experienced life and surmounted difficulties, while all Lee had done since being freed was a bit of manual work, very little travel and learned to drive
"Good morning, beautiful."
Lee turned at Andrei's voice, delighting in the sleepy look on Andrei's face that lasted until at least his second cup of coffee.
"Good morning Andrei. Did you miss me?"
The words escaped Lee's lips, errant and slippery, unable for him to snatch back. He was cringing at his thoughtlessness as Andrei padded over, rubbing at his eyes before opening a cabinet to retrieve a mug.
"You know I did. But I don't own you. Not anymore. And while I'd never want to get on his bad side, I really don't mind having Jer here in my home. He'd die first before you were hurt again."
"I know. It's a shame we can't all be together. Y'know. Bed-wise."
Andrei managed an incredulous look despite his sleepy state and shook his head as he poured his coffee.
"You know I love you more than anything, but Jer has made it quite clear that he's not attracted to me. And I'm not insulted," the nobleman added quickly as Lee walked over.
Lee pressed his chest to Andrei's back, holding him tightly around the waist. "It's not that and you know it," Lee murmured into Andrei's ear before releasing him. He gently lifted his long red hair out of the way to give him a soft, lingering kiss on the sensitive skin at the back of his neck. Andrei made a low, needy sound.
"That's not fair, sweetheart. I slept alone last night. You didn't."
"I know." Lee grinned innocently against Andrei's fragrant skin, but then sobered and walked around to face him. "Is it really okay that Jer lives here, at least some of the time?"
Andrei blew on his coffee and took a sip, obviously contemplating his response. For a startling moment he looked old to Lee, or older than he thought of him. There were the beginnings of lines at the corner of his eyes, though his face was quite youthful.
"Of course it's okay or I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me. I'm part of a changing world, and I'll admit, there are times when it's really not easy. I hate even to say this, but I haven't kept any secrets from you and you, dear gorgeous boy, can read me like a book."
Lee felt his eyes widen. "What is it?" His heart began to thump in his chest, fear about the unknown rising with a force that hadn't happened in ages.
"Oh honey, nothing awful. Let's sit down."
Andrei pulled out a chair and sat down, placing his coffee cup on the table. Lee surprised himself by reverting to an action he'd done often in his slave days, when he had so desperately craved security and the tenderness that Andrei had lavished on him with such generosity. He sat on Andrei's lap, stroking his sharp jaw. Andrei closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head in Lee's palm like a tranquil cat, and then opened his light eyes.
"This is terrible to say," he murmured. "Sometimes - only on occasion - I wish we'd won the case. That you would still be solely mine. That you couldn't leave," he finished in a hoarse whisper.
Lee felt his heart ache for him even though he'd grown to cherish his freedom. For all of his luxuries, intelligence, and very handsome appearance, Andrei was afraid? No, Lee decided, it was that he lived in some kind of dread of some day when he would be all alone again.
"Andrei," said Lee. He kissed him, slow and thoroughly, trying to express his gratitude, his love, and a reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere, at least not for a long, long time. "Don't worry," he went on fervently. "And don't feel bad. You bought Mona thinking she'd be with you forever, and she wanted you to be her master. I wanted you to be my master, too. You've let Jer stay, and you don't seem to get jealous about him " His voice trailed off.
"It wouldn't do me any good," said Andrei, his tone resigned. "You are indeed a delicate, complicated man. I remember Holden describing you that way once. Do you remember sharing that letter with me? He's incredibly insightful." He reached around Lee to take another swallow of coffee.
A confusion of feelings swirled in Lee's head, making him dizzy. He couldn't choose between Jer and Andrei. They both meant too much to him. But he knew that Andrei needed him now. Jer would take care of himself whenever he decided to roll out of bed and would probably go to visit Holden and his household.
"Would you like to take your pleasure with me?" Lee asked softly, the words no longer strange in his mouth.
"That's sweet of you to offer, but " Andrei's expression turned wistful. "I'm happy to wait."
Suddenly Lee knew what to do, his slave's well-honed skills guiding his words and actions in a manner that made him feel confident.
"How about we just snuggle for a bit, then," he suggested, nuzzling Andrei's neck. "Later today I'll get to take you for a long drive, and I'm really looking forward to it."
"I am, too."
Andrei was rubbing Lee's back, and Lee smiled inwardly at his success. He would make Andrei feel better, his former master who had never once hurt him or even raised his voice in anger. Lee stopped by the opulent bathroom suite in Andrei's room and made sure he was clean. It struck him with the force of a crashing wave just how different he and his life had become. As he finger-combed his messy hair, he realized that he was actually being somewhat devious in order to seduce Andrei. Unbidden, he was assaulted by a memory: being delirious with anxiety, sandwiched between Bran, who'd murmured affections Lee couldn't even comprehend at the time, Holden fucking him for the first time, and Lee feeling safe. At last he'd been safe with a master.
"You're beautiful, sweetheart. Quit preening and hold me like you so generously offered. Please."
Andrei's voice jolted Lee from his reverie back to the present. An earnest young man looked back at him from the mirror, thin but not gaunt, contentment in his expression.
"By the Ash," he whispered, amazed, and then went to the bedroom.
Snuggling did allow Lee subtly to put his skills to work, earning him an enthusiastic but very tender fucking. Afterwards Andrei lay spooned behind him, mouthing a trail of kisses along the skin behind his ear.
"You cheated," said Andrei, his voice husky.
"Maybe," admitted Lee, smiling to himself.
"You manipulated me into having sex with you."
"But you liked it!"
Andrei nibbled on Lee's earlobe, and he let out a yelp.
"Of course. But now I'll worry that that perfect backside of yours will be too sore for our trip. You haven't had to say anything, but I know that Jer is a big man, in every way."
Lee started to protest, even though it was the truth, but Andrei squeezed him closer in his arms.
"It doesn't matter. As long as you're not sharing yourself with me out of pity."
At that, Lee turned over, feeling as though he'd been punched. "I had sex with you because I wanted to. I can't be with you both at the same time, but I would never even think that well " Lee felt his confidence eroding away as he looked into Andrei's face. There he saw such raw love for him, yet he couldn't help but think of the more gruff but equally powerful expressions in Jer's words. Maybe he did feel sorry for Andrei after all. The thought made him feel slightly nauseous.
"It's complicated," said Andrei, resting his hand on Lee's hip. "Let's just leave it at that. Oh- I have a little something for you. I was going to wait until we left, but I'd like to give it to you now."
Lee didn't protest as Andrei got up and pulled on a silken bathrobe, heading for his study. Andrei was often giving Lee little tokens of affection, and after months of insisting that sharing Andrei's house, life and freedom was more than he'd ever expected, Lee had quit resisting. It was just in Andrei's nature to be expansive and giving, and with Mona off at university, Lee was the favored recipient. That said, even Jer had grudgingly accepted a nice ink pen when he'd moved in his belongings. He'd expressed his discomfort about the whole situation with his usual profanity and forthrightness later to Lee, but Lee was able to convince him it would all work out.
Andrei walked back in, untied his bathrobe and slid under the covers. He had a short box in his hand.
"Andrei," said Lee weakly as he took the box.
"I know. You don't need anything. It's symbolic. Just open it."
The hinges creaked as Lee opened the box. Inside was a keychain with a leather tag. 'Lee' had been etched into it with a decorative border, and there was a single key on it. Andrei had given him a house key the day after he'd been granted his freedom, so this had to be-
"It's for your car?" he asked, incredulous.
Andrei nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "You were so clever, having Bran teach you to drive. I don't use the car all that often, and I'm happy to share. And you might want to take Jer off to the beach or something. He seems to have an aversion to anything other than public transportation, but he would trust riding with you."
Lee was speechless. He ran his finger along the delicate etching of the leather and then the jagged teeth of the key.
"The only thing I ask is that you not have sex in it."
Lee's gaze snapped to Andrei's. Was he kidding?
"I'd never-"
"Unless it's with me." Andrei kissed him formally on both cheeks, a gesture that caused tears to spring to Lee's eyes. "And I'm not really kidding. You've either inspired me or I'm somehow getting less inhibited thanks to you being in my life."
Lee grasped his jaw and ferociously kissed him. "I'm yours."
"Well " Andrei's pale cheeks colored. Despite having initially bought Lee as a sex slave, Andrei was quite traditional in his tastes. Or he had been. "I had hoped once we got into the wilds of the park, maybe before our picnic, you would take me. We could christen the car, in honor of your first long drive."
Lee couldn't help but let out a choked laugh. "A car's an awfully small and awkward place to have sex, don't you think?"
Andrei's lips twitched. "Well, yes. It seemed romantic when I thought about it. Never mind. It was a silly idea. I'm just so proud-"
"Oh no you don't, Andrei Taganov," interrupted Lee. It wasn't often that he ever addressed his former master by his full name, and there was something powerful in being able to do so. "You don't get to change the subject. I love that you've been imagining this day of driving as a chance to be " He paused for effect, Andrei's blue eyes wide and trained on him. " kinky."
Andrei pursed his lips, then smiled widely. "I do like to surprise you every once in a while if possible."
"More than you realize. But it's not like regular sex with you is boring."
"Oh, good," said Andrei with mock relief. "I'd hate to think that you spend the night with me out of pity or to look forward to boring sex with your former master."
Lee's playfulness vanished. He hadn't experienced Andrei's sarcasm before, and it was like being scraped with barbed wire.
"Look!" he fumed. "I love you. I don't pity you. How under the Ash could I ever pity you? I do love you, and have loved sharing myself with you since the first night I was here. Jer literally saved my life. I hate it when he goes away sometimes because I'm afraid he won't come back. I love him, too."
He was breathing heavily, adrenaline racing through his body. Andrei gazed at him, surprise etched on his features. Slowly he shook his head.
"I don't think I've ever had more respect for Holden Larssen than right now," he said quietly.
Just the regular, calm tone to his voice was enough for Lee to feel his anger subside.
"Holden? Why?"
Andrei reached out and traced along Lee's sternum with a long finger. "You're the one who's told me about life at his home. He loves hard and deeply, and not just one person at a time. He, too, probably never expected that he could be left alone. Except for his wife, though I suppose she could divorce him. I don't imagine that she would, though."
Lee was a punctured balloon. He felt miserable, and wanted to crawl into the security of Andrei's arms. "I don't want to leave you," he said helplessly, clinging to Andrei, who did not respond in kind. "I'm just confused. Or, well, I just never expected this."
Something hard was jabbing his ribs and he discovered it was the gift box. He closed it and reached behind him to put it on his bedside table, hoping that Andrei would understand that it meant he was gratefully keeping it.
"I don't mean to make you jealous or hurt you," he sniffed, since tears had followed his anger.
Andrei held Lee close as he cried for a few minutes, more frustrated than anything else. Soon he was just making pitiful whimpering sounds, and Andrei soothed him, rubbing his back with a warm touch.
"Beautiful Lee," said Andrei in a hushed tone. "I've been letting you be with Jer since back when I owned you and you had to ask my permission. It would be hypocritical, not to mention simply wrong to ask you not to spend time with someone you care about so much. I'll survive the nights when I sleep alone. I did so for many years."
"But you bought me so you'd have someone to sleep with," insisted Lee, now drowning in guilt.
"I bought you because of how you tasted from that first kiss, the inappropriate one." Andrei's voice took on a dreamy quality, and Lee began to feel the smallest bit of reassurance creep into his chest. "You've come so far, and I'm privileged to have given you a safe home where you could heal and mature. I'm grateful for every night you're with me. Just do me one favor."
"Anything," said Lee, rubbing at his wet nose.
"If you feel that you'd rather be with Jer, or if your feelings guide you that way, please tell me. Don't be afraid to tell me that. I would not look forward to trying to find another lover at this point in my life, it's true, but the world won't stop turning. Your happiness is more important to me."
Hot and cold flashed through Lee. "I'd never even," he began, stumbling over the words. "I can't imagine not being with you. I love Jer, but Jer's Jer." He leaned his head back to be able to look into Andrei's face. "He'll want his own place. And he'll always come back to me. But he's not- settled. He wants to see the world. And he's older."
Andrei chuckled. "I'm older too, honey."
"Not as old as he is. You've been free all your life. He I " Lee grasped at words, trying to express the contradictions and confusion whirling in his heart. "I need you. And I need Jer, too. In a different way."
"It's complicated, but not insurmountable," said Andrei. "But I need you to be true to yourself. You owe that to yourself, most of all."
"I'm just learning how to do this!" Lee hated how pathetic he sounded, but it was the truth. "I don't ever really want to be a slave again, but just like you said, every once in a while, I think about it. Especially with you. I knew you'd never hurt me. In some ways, though, it was easier."
Andrei looked at him, compassion warm in his eyes. "Just take things one day at a time. You never know what may happen."
"You could break both wrists," said Lee, thinking of Andrei's accident from a couple of months prior.
"I already did! I'd try not to do that, if I were you." A smile eased onto Andrei's lips. "And as much as I'm glad to talk about these things, because they are very important, I think we should get cleaned up and get our picnic together. I'm ready to be impressed by your long-distance driving."
"Okay." Lee couldn't help but hold Andrei in a hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
* * * * *
Lee took a last quick look around the kitchen to make sure he'd not forgotten anything, but it was all packed in the car that purred in the driveway. Even Andrei was waiting for him. Lee was scrawling a hasty note to Jer when he came lumbering out of his room, rubbing at his temples.
"Where's the aspirin in this mansion?" he rumbled, pulling Lee into an embrace.
"There's some in Mona's bathroom cabinet. How do you feel?" Lee leaned back to see Jer's bloodshot eyes and grey stubble on his jaw.
"Like shit. Go on- I know you have a big day. I'll go see Holden later. Probably stay there a couple of days."
"Phone me tonight, okay?"
Jer's wide fingers rubbed at the base of his spine. "No promises. Might be playing cards and getting drunk."
"Why would you do that?" asked Lee, genuinely perplexed. "Do you like feeling awful?"
"I'll explain some other time. Right now I need coffee."
Lee kissed him quickly on the cheek and bounded toward the door. "Love you!" he called out over his shoulder.
Jer made a grunt of acknowledgment and Lee smiled, blinking into the sunlight once through the door.
"Was Jer up?" Andrei asked as Lee slid into the driver's seat, his attentions temporarily captivated by the leather keychain dangling from the ignition.
"Yes. He's hungover."
"Hmmmph. I must admit I'm not sorry to miss that."
Lee snorted and carefully put the car into gear. "Neither am I. He gets really cranky when he has a headache."
With increasing confidence, Lee eased up on the clutch and guided the car toward the main road. After several minutes had passed and he was on the thoroughfare out of the city, he noticed a strange sound. He'd been concentrating due to the traffic, knowing just how expensive of an automobile Andrei owned. He turned his head and realized that Andrei was humming something to himself.
"Sorry," said Andrei, looking embarrassed. "I have a song stuck in my head."
"I don't mind," said Lee hurriedly. "You have a nice voice."
Andrei quirked a smile. "You're kind to say so." After a pause, he continued, "Life with you is more of an adventure than I ever could have imagined."
As Lee watched the trees whiz past, his hands gripped on the leather steering wheel, he nodded his agreement.
"Holden taught me a lot, but you've been "
"Life is your teacher. I'm just glad to be a guide. Now keep your eyes on the road, and I'll be navigator."
Another quarter of an hour or so passed, and Lee had begun to relax into his role as driver when Andrei said, "You're truly amazing. A miracle, really."
Lee felt himself flush. "I'm just me." He glanced at Andrei, whose expression of unfettered adoration nearly caused Lee to swerve out of his lane.
"Exactly."