my heart hurts!
i had a fabulous weekend with my friends. i love them. last night i had my good moments and my bad moments. and i remember my bad moments because they had to do with my heart and things i cant change or control.when i see him i am soo happy. i think of him all the time. i know nothing is gonna happen and i want to get over it but it is not easy. it is very hard to change something you cant control. everyone thinks of me as just another girl with a crush. well you have another thing coming to ya. i dont know what it is. i dont know if it is a really strong crush or if its more. but i will tell you one thing...crushes arent suppose to hurt this bad. and i am not suppose to get as jealous as i do. i dont know what is wrong with me. i dont know what to do. i am soo confused. all i want is for him to know i care about him as much as i do. i just wanna get everything off my chest because the longer i keep it to myself the more it is gonna hurt. so hopefully it will help to talk to him about it all. i dont want any secrets. and i dont want anymore pain. but if it is the cost for him then i can take it. i am strong. i can handle it.
thank you soo much to my friends. thanks for caring!!! i love you all soo much!!. all of you are like my family down here. i dont get to see my family very often. they are all in california. so i am glad that i met all of you. i dont know what i would do without any of you!!! i love you!!
and when it comes to me and the whole moving deal. i know that other people are going through it. and i am sorry if you get the vibe that i think that i have it harder than any of you. it just i show it more than most people. i am sorry if i act selfish to anyone. i dont want anyone to be unhappy. that is the last thing i want. i would rather be unhappy than to see my friends unhappy.