no, not now
this is pointless, don't even read it unless you want my rambling, which you probably don't
i really don't like those girls who always get what they want. and then they fucking ruin it, and i can see it from a mile away. they do the same thing to everyone, and all the boys keep falling for it, and they still keep those girls in high regard. they are the ones who break hearts and i am the one who watches and comforts those boys. i can't stand by and watch one more consumed to these girls that seem so fucking perfect, and they aren't. they don't understand anything more than the next person. they just know how to act, how to come off. they know how to manipulate, and make themselves something else, they make themselves a boys dream. they don't want the comitment and the guys love that, but ultimately, guys fall for them. our world is something that isn't real. or something that i don't want to be real, i don't want to find that all the time when i actually put so much effort and time into something, that it will automatically fail, i don't want life to reflect those who found the best shortcuts and not the ones who actually loved. i don't want my life to be a reflection of failures, something that was thrown together, something that was empty, something that was me trying and trying, chasing an unrequited love that i'll never catch. its pointless, its unending. and the sad thing is, this is how life is. when the whole world isn't on your side, it's hard to look up and keep going. it's hard when everyone is going to critisize you for everything. you have no options, you don't have anyone in your corner. everyone is watching everyone, and you can't make your own choices, you can't chase your own happiness because your happiness will inflict sadness upon others. no matter what i'm stuck. i just don't want to think, i want to be able to have other options, but it's hard when you have all your stock invested in one thing, you can't escape this because it's all you've thought about, and it's all you've dreamed about. and the one thing you want, the thing to cancel others out, it's gone. you have no chance and no escape. you're stuck.
"to love and to be loved...well let's just hope that it's enough"
but the bad thing is, that sometimes you wonder if it's worth it, all these downfalls that only mean something to you. these things that crash down in your world, they're the things that make you want to resist the chase. the chase that can be so entrancing and winding and never ending. but 5 times out of 6 you get fucked up, you get hurt. and it sucks. as my friend tesla teitge once said, life is like a fucking bicycle, i added the fucking part, but i mean i don't know how that is relevant but tesla did say that.
"we all get tired, i mean eventually, there's nothing left to do but sleep"
i really don't like those girls who always get what they want. and then they fucking ruin it, and i can see it from a mile away. they do the same thing to everyone, and all the boys keep falling for it, and they still keep those girls in high regard. they are the ones who break hearts and i am the one who watches and comforts those boys. i can't stand by and watch one more consumed to these girls that seem so fucking perfect, and they aren't. they don't understand anything more than the next person. they just know how to act, how to come off. they know how to manipulate, and make themselves something else, they make themselves a boys dream. they don't want the comitment and the guys love that, but ultimately, guys fall for them. our world is something that isn't real. or something that i don't want to be real, i don't want to find that all the time when i actually put so much effort and time into something, that it will automatically fail, i don't want life to reflect those who found the best shortcuts and not the ones who actually loved. i don't want my life to be a reflection of failures, something that was thrown together, something that was empty, something that was me trying and trying, chasing an unrequited love that i'll never catch. its pointless, its unending. and the sad thing is, this is how life is. when the whole world isn't on your side, it's hard to look up and keep going. it's hard when everyone is going to critisize you for everything. you have no options, you don't have anyone in your corner. everyone is watching everyone, and you can't make your own choices, you can't chase your own happiness because your happiness will inflict sadness upon others. no matter what i'm stuck. i just don't want to think, i want to be able to have other options, but it's hard when you have all your stock invested in one thing, you can't escape this because it's all you've thought about, and it's all you've dreamed about. and the one thing you want, the thing to cancel others out, it's gone. you have no chance and no escape. you're stuck.
"to love and to be loved...well let's just hope that it's enough"
but the bad thing is, that sometimes you wonder if it's worth it, all these downfalls that only mean something to you. these things that crash down in your world, they're the things that make you want to resist the chase. the chase that can be so entrancing and winding and never ending. but 5 times out of 6 you get fucked up, you get hurt. and it sucks. as my friend tesla teitge once said, life is like a fucking bicycle, i added the fucking part, but i mean i don't know how that is relevant but tesla did say that.
"we all get tired, i mean eventually, there's nothing left to do but sleep"