oh, I used to have a tag for him and I deleted it didn't I.
reeeaaalllly weird dream.
Started off just looking at pictures from Kum-Ba-Yah, and seeing Tom in them and feeling awkward for still kind of having feelings for him - that of course turned into actually being there, and in my dream I was working there legitimately and he had come back to visit and semi-show off and all the people that were old enough to recognize him were really happy to see him and we were all palling around ~like ya do BUT OF COURSE this eventually led to just him and me sitting on the back steps of this house that has nothing to do with the KBY property but was there anyway while everyone else went off and did their fun shit. And we're just sitting there talking and there's fucking sexual tension everywhere. nbd. I'm trying to keep the conversation going but we keep falling into these awkward silences, and I'm trying not to do that thing Bill says I do where I talk about myself and my experiences rather than letting the other person talk about theirs, but when the conversation just fucking dies and he's just smirking at me and it's beyond awkward there's not much more I can do aslkjdhalksgd
So we apparently sit and talk for hours because eventually the sun has gone down and now we are obviously not at KBY even though we're still sitting on the same back porch steps of whatever random house this is. It now just leads to a regular backyard, with a really tall privacy hedge of some kind - not regular boxwood hedge, but tall reedy bushy shoots of something, like more coastline-ish plants? Because I think way off to our left but still totally visible is the ocean. So I asked about the coolest thing he did all summer and he said something about watching some totally mindblowing sunset along the sea, and how it lit up absolutely everything and there wasn't anything manmade around for a while and so it was nature just on fire or whatever. And I said something like "yeah but it's kind of reminds me of what it is like in the city, when all the lights come on and everything's just alive and glowing" and that led us to chat about the city a little and he said like "I can see you there, you know," like talking about the city where he lives??? because in my dream I guess he lived in a big city on the west coast or something? and I kind of chuckled and was like "well shit I'd love to be there" and he kind of half-hugged me and was like "you could be out there with me, writing your own zine" (which I guess was what he was doing) and I was like "...you really think so?" and he was like "well look here's a test." And he was jokey-winky like fucking flirty-charming, and magically had his laptop with him and was going to show me something.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS WEIRD.
The thing he starts to run on his laptop is this weird thing with a snake, and he puts it in my hands/lap and kind of disappears behind me/off to the side and talks me through this superweird thing where I think he's going to kiss me at the end but instead (and this was totally Big Bang Theory-influenced) I end up making out with this SNAKE on the COMPUTER SCREEN. like actually shoving my mouth on the screen and kissing the snake. And it's fucking trippy and there's this irritating rattlesnake noise that keeps happening but I totally make it through and "pass the test" and come out the other side, and I'm sure this means we're going to run away together forever even though IRL I think he is already married, and so I put down the laptop and turn to him and...he's gone. So I start shouting out for him, first like "seriously tho" and then approaching "no wait I am actually scared because I don't know where I am OR where you are holy shit" and then I hear, off in the weird privacy hedge, the rattlesnake noise again. And I know that it's him, trying to draw me to him, trolling me - making me work to find him again. So I take a few steps over there and wait until I hear it again, and keep following the sound until I'm diving into the hedge, and the sun's setting and the hedge is thick and I can't really see anything so I'm going totally by ear, waiting to hear the rattle (which I know to be a little box that he has? with stuff in it?) and kind of laughing to myself and searching, searching, because HOW FUCKING FLIRTY IS THIS and I KNOW he'll kiss me if I find him this time, and eventually I do, grab his arm, catch him in the mess,
and then we fall into this pit or something and the rest of it becomes like a fucking demented video game where we're being tormented by some young creepy female villain and every single puzzle comes back to being vaguely snake-themed.
I don't remember this middle chunk, beyond that some point I think I turned into cartoon Anastasia and he turned into cartoon Aladdin, just briefly, because of some weird thing in the outside world I'd been thinking about with fun/weird prince and princess pairings; at kind of the end of when this was happening we were sliding down a long, terrifying kind of slide thing into the darkness (think Gringotts) and when we got to the end it stopped so suddenly that we nearly fell off; I was able to stay on top of the thing, and make a fairly terrifying leap over to this cut-out part of the cave wall that led to a totally different area, but he was clinging to the bottom, and had to wait until I'd made it to the nice hallway off to the side before he could use me as he was swinging over, as something to catch onto with his legs. Eventually he landed safe too and we were holding way too close to each other to make sure no one fell and there was sexual tension. SHOCKER. (and then we were back to tom and emily.)
I ventured ahead into this hallway and at first it looked like all these weird doors were totally ornamental and just flush part of the wall and weren't actually doors, but there were these weird sliding folding collapsible parts hiding behind these illusion parts and you had to kind of roll them into the wall and collapse them until the door opened enough for you to get through. We did the first one together, kind of figuring out what was going on, and realized every room had things that looked like one thing on the surface but were obviously hiding other things, and most of the little things they were hiding were empty or useless but one of them, somewhere, would have what we needed. So after that we started running frantically and splitting up and each taking one side of the hallway, because we really wanted to escape from how fucking insane this was - he had started it but I don't think he'd realized how fucking crazy it actually was and now he was trapped too and was never expecting it to be this way. (This hallway was sonormalit'sterrifying!creepy - there was fancy classy vintage wallpaper and classical music playing and the lighting was soft and nice and I wanted to say it seemed kind of Victorian even though I know that isn't the right word for what it was, and our clothes had even changed to kind of mirror that too, I was in a thick puffy-skirted dress that I would have hated to wear in real life because I bet it was really thick-fabric'd and uncomfortable. The only weird thing about the hallways/rooms aside from them being way too normal was how small they were - the ceilings were kinda low and tall-ass Tom had to duck, and the walls were really snug and close together, so it was all kind of claustrophobic and awkward.
We were each in our second or third rooms when I found one that had a weird blue box in it - it kind of looked like a metal lantern function-wise, but was perfectly rectangular and had little clear panels on the side and I was like oh, this is obviously meant to resemble a TARDIS without actually looking enough like it that the Doctor Who people could sue (Because this was somehow STILL A BIG ELABORATE VIDEO GAME...right. So many of my dreams are like this). Which I figured was a pretty clear hint that it was time-travel related, so I started to poke at it, because I felt like it could get us out of here. In the bottom there was a small layer of like, frothy fluid, somewhere between soap and beverage foam in consistency, and when I picked it up and rolled it around (as I'd been obscurely-hinted to do by a couple of cryptic singsongy talking portraits on the walls) a heavy little pale-blue bead started bouncing around. I reached in and took the bead out and noticed there was a little pattern of beads on the table with one obviously missing; I set the foamy one down in the empty slot and the little picture kind of formed - what else? - a snake. It looked a lot like the snake that I kind of have as a ring, and I realized suddenly I was wearing that ring - but I didn't want to have to sacrifice it, because I like that ring, so I looked around for something else that would work and I found my OTHER ring, the sort of backward-S shaped one that I never take off, only it was on the dresser on the other side of the room and I picked it up and decided it was snakelike enough to work and that I could stand to sacrifice that one (even though in reality I would totally ditch the snake one ahead of this one, I LOVE this ring). I dropped it straight down into the foam in the TARDIS-lantern and it started to fizz and then it started to glow and I realized it was going to take me preeetttyy quickly in the next couple of seconds and I was like, shit!! So I ran back out into the hallway screaming for Tom and trying to find him and I saw him down aways back toward the way we came in getting attacked by these misty ethereal snake-headed figures that I guess were the game's bad guys and I was fucking RACING toward him trying to grab his arm before the TARDIS-lantern disappeared me without him and I think I had actually managed to grab into a hunk of his shirt at his elbow
when I woke up.
asjdkaksjdghkjfg. This was one of those dreams that was so ATMOSPHERIC that I'm still kind of feeling it now that I'm awake. I really REALLY tried to lie there and fall asleep again and finish it. Pretty sure we would've made out once we got out of there alive. WHY AM I STILL DREAMING ABOUT HIM THIS CHAPTER IN MY LIFE IS OVER alaksjdakjfs and also snakes???? subconscious whyyyy sharkweek wwhhhhyyyyyyyyy
/bluh okay I'm done.
Started off just looking at pictures from Kum-Ba-Yah, and seeing Tom in them and feeling awkward for still kind of having feelings for him - that of course turned into actually being there, and in my dream I was working there legitimately and he had come back to visit and semi-show off and all the people that were old enough to recognize him were really happy to see him and we were all palling around ~like ya do BUT OF COURSE this eventually led to just him and me sitting on the back steps of this house that has nothing to do with the KBY property but was there anyway while everyone else went off and did their fun shit. And we're just sitting there talking and there's fucking sexual tension everywhere. nbd. I'm trying to keep the conversation going but we keep falling into these awkward silences, and I'm trying not to do that thing Bill says I do where I talk about myself and my experiences rather than letting the other person talk about theirs, but when the conversation just fucking dies and he's just smirking at me and it's beyond awkward there's not much more I can do aslkjdhalksgd
So we apparently sit and talk for hours because eventually the sun has gone down and now we are obviously not at KBY even though we're still sitting on the same back porch steps of whatever random house this is. It now just leads to a regular backyard, with a really tall privacy hedge of some kind - not regular boxwood hedge, but tall reedy bushy shoots of something, like more coastline-ish plants? Because I think way off to our left but still totally visible is the ocean. So I asked about the coolest thing he did all summer and he said something about watching some totally mindblowing sunset along the sea, and how it lit up absolutely everything and there wasn't anything manmade around for a while and so it was nature just on fire or whatever. And I said something like "yeah but it's kind of reminds me of what it is like in the city, when all the lights come on and everything's just alive and glowing" and that led us to chat about the city a little and he said like "I can see you there, you know," like talking about the city where he lives??? because in my dream I guess he lived in a big city on the west coast or something? and I kind of chuckled and was like "well shit I'd love to be there" and he kind of half-hugged me and was like "you could be out there with me, writing your own zine" (which I guess was what he was doing) and I was like "...you really think so?" and he was like "well look here's a test." And he was jokey-winky like fucking flirty-charming, and magically had his laptop with him and was going to show me something.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS WEIRD.
The thing he starts to run on his laptop is this weird thing with a snake, and he puts it in my hands/lap and kind of disappears behind me/off to the side and talks me through this superweird thing where I think he's going to kiss me at the end but instead (and this was totally Big Bang Theory-influenced) I end up making out with this SNAKE on the COMPUTER SCREEN. like actually shoving my mouth on the screen and kissing the snake. And it's fucking trippy and there's this irritating rattlesnake noise that keeps happening but I totally make it through and "pass the test" and come out the other side, and I'm sure this means we're going to run away together forever even though IRL I think he is already married, and so I put down the laptop and turn to him and...he's gone. So I start shouting out for him, first like "seriously tho" and then approaching "no wait I am actually scared because I don't know where I am OR where you are holy shit" and then I hear, off in the weird privacy hedge, the rattlesnake noise again. And I know that it's him, trying to draw me to him, trolling me - making me work to find him again. So I take a few steps over there and wait until I hear it again, and keep following the sound until I'm diving into the hedge, and the sun's setting and the hedge is thick and I can't really see anything so I'm going totally by ear, waiting to hear the rattle (which I know to be a little box that he has? with stuff in it?) and kind of laughing to myself and searching, searching, because HOW FUCKING FLIRTY IS THIS and I KNOW he'll kiss me if I find him this time, and eventually I do, grab his arm, catch him in the mess,
and then we fall into this pit or something and the rest of it becomes like a fucking demented video game where we're being tormented by some young creepy female villain and every single puzzle comes back to being vaguely snake-themed.
I don't remember this middle chunk, beyond that some point I think I turned into cartoon Anastasia and he turned into cartoon Aladdin, just briefly, because of some weird thing in the outside world I'd been thinking about with fun/weird prince and princess pairings; at kind of the end of when this was happening we were sliding down a long, terrifying kind of slide thing into the darkness (think Gringotts) and when we got to the end it stopped so suddenly that we nearly fell off; I was able to stay on top of the thing, and make a fairly terrifying leap over to this cut-out part of the cave wall that led to a totally different area, but he was clinging to the bottom, and had to wait until I'd made it to the nice hallway off to the side before he could use me as he was swinging over, as something to catch onto with his legs. Eventually he landed safe too and we were holding way too close to each other to make sure no one fell and there was sexual tension. SHOCKER. (and then we were back to tom and emily.)
I ventured ahead into this hallway and at first it looked like all these weird doors were totally ornamental and just flush part of the wall and weren't actually doors, but there were these weird sliding folding collapsible parts hiding behind these illusion parts and you had to kind of roll them into the wall and collapse them until the door opened enough for you to get through. We did the first one together, kind of figuring out what was going on, and realized every room had things that looked like one thing on the surface but were obviously hiding other things, and most of the little things they were hiding were empty or useless but one of them, somewhere, would have what we needed. So after that we started running frantically and splitting up and each taking one side of the hallway, because we really wanted to escape from how fucking insane this was - he had started it but I don't think he'd realized how fucking crazy it actually was and now he was trapped too and was never expecting it to be this way. (This hallway was sonormalit'sterrifying!creepy - there was fancy classy vintage wallpaper and classical music playing and the lighting was soft and nice and I wanted to say it seemed kind of Victorian even though I know that isn't the right word for what it was, and our clothes had even changed to kind of mirror that too, I was in a thick puffy-skirted dress that I would have hated to wear in real life because I bet it was really thick-fabric'd and uncomfortable. The only weird thing about the hallways/rooms aside from them being way too normal was how small they were - the ceilings were kinda low and tall-ass Tom had to duck, and the walls were really snug and close together, so it was all kind of claustrophobic and awkward.
We were each in our second or third rooms when I found one that had a weird blue box in it - it kind of looked like a metal lantern function-wise, but was perfectly rectangular and had little clear panels on the side and I was like oh, this is obviously meant to resemble a TARDIS without actually looking enough like it that the Doctor Who people could sue (Because this was somehow STILL A BIG ELABORATE VIDEO GAME...right. So many of my dreams are like this). Which I figured was a pretty clear hint that it was time-travel related, so I started to poke at it, because I felt like it could get us out of here. In the bottom there was a small layer of like, frothy fluid, somewhere between soap and beverage foam in consistency, and when I picked it up and rolled it around (as I'd been obscurely-hinted to do by a couple of cryptic singsongy talking portraits on the walls) a heavy little pale-blue bead started bouncing around. I reached in and took the bead out and noticed there was a little pattern of beads on the table with one obviously missing; I set the foamy one down in the empty slot and the little picture kind of formed - what else? - a snake. It looked a lot like the snake that I kind of have as a ring, and I realized suddenly I was wearing that ring - but I didn't want to have to sacrifice it, because I like that ring, so I looked around for something else that would work and I found my OTHER ring, the sort of backward-S shaped one that I never take off, only it was on the dresser on the other side of the room and I picked it up and decided it was snakelike enough to work and that I could stand to sacrifice that one (even though in reality I would totally ditch the snake one ahead of this one, I LOVE this ring). I dropped it straight down into the foam in the TARDIS-lantern and it started to fizz and then it started to glow and I realized it was going to take me preeetttyy quickly in the next couple of seconds and I was like, shit!! So I ran back out into the hallway screaming for Tom and trying to find him and I saw him down aways back toward the way we came in getting attacked by these misty ethereal snake-headed figures that I guess were the game's bad guys and I was fucking RACING toward him trying to grab his arm before the TARDIS-lantern disappeared me without him and I think I had actually managed to grab into a hunk of his shirt at his elbow
when I woke up.
asjdkaksjdghkjfg. This was one of those dreams that was so ATMOSPHERIC that I'm still kind of feeling it now that I'm awake. I really REALLY tried to lie there and fall asleep again and finish it. Pretty sure we would've made out once we got out of there alive. WHY AM I STILL DREAMING ABOUT HIM THIS CHAPTER IN MY LIFE IS OVER alaksjdakjfs and also snakes???? subconscious whyyyy sharkweek wwhhhhyyyyyyyyy
/bluh okay I'm done.