Happy Holy Week, here's a pornographic fic-dump about a Hallmark Christian Show
SO, lowriseflare and I started watching this terrible message-y Hallmark show about 1910 frontier Alberta, mostly ironically, only then suddenly we were NOT watching it ironically and were in fact Very Invested in the kissing (there is like, surprisingly good kissing, you guys). So we wrote porn. As one does. Have I mentioned this is an explicitly Christian show about explicitly Christian characters set in 19-fucking-10? Because it is. We are basically writing porn about the modern-day equivalent of Road to Avonlee. Jesus would be so proud, etc.
You are always new series:
I have no limit now to my love [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, R, 6400+ words]
A few weeks after Jack kisses Elizabeth for the second time (and third, and fourth, and fifth), he begins to wonder about chaperones.
Sex acts featured: grinding, light petting, shame
o let me have thee whole [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, R, 8500+ words]
“So,” Jack says, standing across their brand-new bedroom on the very first night of their marriage. “Here we are.”
Sex acts featured: missionary position, fingering, chasteness
in a sweet unrest [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, Explicit, 9400+ words]
The fourth night of their marriage, Elizabeth doesn’t bother to put on her nightdress.
Sex acts featured: cunnillingous (!!), not!missionary position, allusions to the Bible
Holy the air, the water, and the fire [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, Explicit, 3700+ words]
It occurs to Elizabeth, as she’s lying in bed later that night, that she could do the same thing to Jack.
Sex acts featured: the chastest blowjob known to man, explicit reference to Adam and Eve, your authors' Catholic guilt
A/N: Titles are all from Keats. It is REALLY hard to get characters from 1910 with no sex education to fuck interestingly or well, p.s.
The one stand-alone fic that has no sex and that is probably the canary in the coal mine sign that your authors have a problem:
Fill for me a brimming bowl [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, PG, 7500+ words]
Jack asks Elizabeth Thatcher for her hand in marriage one sunny April morning on the site of their future homestead, dropping to his knee in full uniform, shin sinking into the muddy spring grass. Aka, Jack and Elizabeth and class differences.
A/N: "It's like, a real-life problem that she can't cook, isn't it?" lowriseflare said one day, and I was like, "Oh yeah, objectively he really shouldn't be marrying her at all, she's a terrible choice of partner for frontier Alberta," and lowriseflare was like, "Huh. That's actually a very interesting conflict to me," and then we wrote this.
IN SUMMARY: if anyone in the world is interested in this dumb show, come talk to us about it, maybe? We are a sinful fandom of two, surrounded by Very Christian Hallmark fans (no, seriously, this show is for evangelicals and grandparents, that is the legit target audience, we are ALONE, please help us).
You are always new series:
I have no limit now to my love [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, R, 6400+ words]
A few weeks after Jack kisses Elizabeth for the second time (and third, and fourth, and fifth), he begins to wonder about chaperones.
Sex acts featured: grinding, light petting, shame
o let me have thee whole [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, R, 8500+ words]
“So,” Jack says, standing across their brand-new bedroom on the very first night of their marriage. “Here we are.”
Sex acts featured: missionary position, fingering, chasteness
in a sweet unrest [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, Explicit, 9400+ words]
The fourth night of their marriage, Elizabeth doesn’t bother to put on her nightdress.
Sex acts featured: cunnillingous (!!), not!missionary position, allusions to the Bible
Holy the air, the water, and the fire [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, Explicit, 3700+ words]
It occurs to Elizabeth, as she’s lying in bed later that night, that she could do the same thing to Jack.
Sex acts featured: the chastest blowjob known to man, explicit reference to Adam and Eve, your authors' Catholic guilt
A/N: Titles are all from Keats. It is REALLY hard to get characters from 1910 with no sex education to fuck interestingly or well, p.s.
The one stand-alone fic that has no sex and that is probably the canary in the coal mine sign that your authors have a problem:
Fill for me a brimming bowl [Jack Thornton/Elizabeth Thatcher, When Calls the Heart, PG, 7500+ words]
Jack asks Elizabeth Thatcher for her hand in marriage one sunny April morning on the site of their future homestead, dropping to his knee in full uniform, shin sinking into the muddy spring grass. Aka, Jack and Elizabeth and class differences.
A/N: "It's like, a real-life problem that she can't cook, isn't it?" lowriseflare said one day, and I was like, "Oh yeah, objectively he really shouldn't be marrying her at all, she's a terrible choice of partner for frontier Alberta," and lowriseflare was like, "Huh. That's actually a very interesting conflict to me," and then we wrote this.
IN SUMMARY: if anyone in the world is interested in this dumb show, come talk to us about it, maybe? We are a sinful fandom of two, surrounded by Very Christian Hallmark fans (no, seriously, this show is for evangelicals and grandparents, that is the legit target audience, we are ALONE, please help us).