it's been done to death

[threedollars]

amaze me, my inconsistant friends and show me what's under your sleeve because i'm tired of being lied to and finding tacks in my seat. we haven't slept in five days because of the things we take to keep us all awake. i guess we're all addicted- but we're all just trying to find something worth fighting for. even though most of the time i feel like giving up on everything, i wouldn't trade our nights for anything else in the world. this summer is the summer i've dreamed of because we were finally together. because i learned to suck it up. because i saw your bruises and realized how much i care about you. because even though sometimes i don't let you in my house in the middle of the night, you never get mad. i wish every single one of my friends knew how much i cared about them, and how jeff's apartment and world of warcraft and bonfires and late nights driving around and parties at waffle house and picnics keep me alive and ready and willing to move on from the past. i wish you knew how much you hurt me and how in reality i can't suck it up because you have always meant so much to me. i wish you knew... but i'm trying to realize there's no use crying over spilled milk, and that's what you are. just a stain on my jeans. i'm glad i have friends that are there to breathe for me sometimes, when i can't stop crying in the car and right in front of you they say i'm so sorry he's an asshole give me a hug and those hugs make everything better. because they mean something. and no matter how often the people around me change, i can see myself with them ten years from now, driving home at 2am after a concert or a day at the beach. the songs we played and all sung along to made me feel so fucking real, and this feeling of excitement and for once not fear overcame me, and i realized how often i take my life for granted. and i never want to be ungrateful again.

"there was never any place for someone like me to be totally happy"