001.

[threeatonce]

Comments

[shutupsammy]

What are you, my grandmother on vacation in South Carolina? Friends don't let friends drive Chryslers.

[threeatonce]

You can count yourself down one birthday car this year, kiddo. I'll be using the money I was sending you to buy myself a Hummer.

[shutupsammy]

CHEAP.

This place has to have been explained to you by now and I'm lazy. So I'm going to assume that's taken place and ask you if you've found an apartment with locks on it. Unless you plan on sleeping in the car.

[threeatonce]

I thought about sleeping in the car, but apparently that does weird things to your psyche. Since I don't think a straight jacket goes with these pants, I'm looking into the whole apartment thing. Slowly. Eventually. After getting off of this beach.

Way to point out the lock thing, though, Dad.

[shutupsammy]

It does? I mean, I know it does weird things to your neck and shoulders, but.

You're welcome. There's a lot of creepy pervs around here, believe me. I know a creepy perv when I see one.

[threeatonce]

That's what I was told. Living alone in a car in this corner of reality = instant crazy.

So you have some experience with creep pervs. This is the most enlightening conversation I've had today.

[shutupsammy]

Oh. Oh. 'Cause of the ticking, right. They say you should live with people, near people, or get a pet. I say somebody should just turn off the fucking ticking. I hate ticking.

I'm a very enlightening kind of guy. Who has spent a large portion of his life in shady places. Not of his own choosing.

[threeatonce]

So why don't you just clap your hands and take care of that, Genie?

You're my favorite kind of person. It's like this place collects you. Like pokemon.