Just have to say...
That I am an incredibly fortunate girl. My man is wonderful. I still feel it nearly every day, I just didn't want to drive you all crazy with continuing to say it all the time, but it's good to say it once and a while. I'm very happy. I'm happy just being with him even when we're doing very little (if you wonder why I don't get out to weeknight clubs as much as I did, it's because I'd rather be curled up in bed with him).
I'm constantly reminded how amazing the whole complete lack of fighting thing is. Not just lack of fighting, but that if there's ever a tiny moment where one of us says something in a tone that's anything but nice it stands out (and I could count the times on one hand from the last two years). There was a time when we were both sugar-crashing at the same time and one of us made a sharp-sounding reply to the other(nothing nasty, just tone), the other made half of a sharp one back and then we both stopped, went "oh, we're tired and need to eat" and went home to eat. That's it.
Difficult discussions yes- thoughts about kidlet, money, making sure the stress for him and anx for me doesn't muck anything up, one of us having a personal stress-fit and the other one being sweet about it. Just lately I chided him for not knowing where stuff was in the kitchen to put it away out of the dish rack, and it stood out in my mind as being yick in comparison to everything else. I don't care about the dish rack and I shouldn't poke him about it. It came out of habit from a distant time with another man years before I moved here. The fact that such a tiny thing is even noticeable between us for rarity value is awesome.
The baseline is a comfortable, sweet understanding. Everything else is up from there. He challenges my mind, engages me on my art, and is generally awesome to talk with. I had one person who was more classically romantic... but the romance of that rang hollow next to Topher's love- it was like a show that was as much for his benefit as mine (this is what one could expect from a self absorbed European artist, no?). I've never been more happy or satisfied in my life as I am with Topher- even on a dull day.
I do have to readjust a bit... I got a lot of energy out of fighting against general discontent- crusading against banality. It's like learning to shift my motivation for painting after I got over teenage angst. Finding new fuel in my life in happiness, challenging myself not out of frustration with things or the need to prove myself, but out of enough desire to improve myself and the world around me.
Hoping this long weekend Topher'll decompress properly- he's had a frustrating work week. We may go for a wander up the coast for a night, or maybe just through the park. I'm guessing he'll be dead on his feet for tonight, so if I go to Hubba Hubba it'll be without him, but yay for Meat vs. Death Guild being on a weekend! I may actually get to see him dance for the first time in too long. :) Happy girl.
I'm constantly reminded how amazing the whole complete lack of fighting thing is. Not just lack of fighting, but that if there's ever a tiny moment where one of us says something in a tone that's anything but nice it stands out (and I could count the times on one hand from the last two years). There was a time when we were both sugar-crashing at the same time and one of us made a sharp-sounding reply to the other(nothing nasty, just tone), the other made half of a sharp one back and then we both stopped, went "oh, we're tired and need to eat" and went home to eat. That's it.
Difficult discussions yes- thoughts about kidlet, money, making sure the stress for him and anx for me doesn't muck anything up, one of us having a personal stress-fit and the other one being sweet about it. Just lately I chided him for not knowing where stuff was in the kitchen to put it away out of the dish rack, and it stood out in my mind as being yick in comparison to everything else. I don't care about the dish rack and I shouldn't poke him about it. It came out of habit from a distant time with another man years before I moved here. The fact that such a tiny thing is even noticeable between us for rarity value is awesome.
The baseline is a comfortable, sweet understanding. Everything else is up from there. He challenges my mind, engages me on my art, and is generally awesome to talk with. I had one person who was more classically romantic... but the romance of that rang hollow next to Topher's love- it was like a show that was as much for his benefit as mine (this is what one could expect from a self absorbed European artist, no?). I've never been more happy or satisfied in my life as I am with Topher- even on a dull day.
I do have to readjust a bit... I got a lot of energy out of fighting against general discontent- crusading against banality. It's like learning to shift my motivation for painting after I got over teenage angst. Finding new fuel in my life in happiness, challenging myself not out of frustration with things or the need to prove myself, but out of enough desire to improve myself and the world around me.
Hoping this long weekend Topher'll decompress properly- he's had a frustrating work week. We may go for a wander up the coast for a night, or maybe just through the park. I'm guessing he'll be dead on his feet for tonight, so if I go to Hubba Hubba it'll be without him, but yay for Meat vs. Death Guild being on a weekend! I may actually get to see him dance for the first time in too long. :) Happy girl.