Mixed blessings
I had mentioned in an earlier post how the parking lot I have been assigned to is a problem child. The combination of the layout and the nature of the customers conspire to prevent any sort of control out of the chaos. We've had our asses to us every single weekend during the 2am rush, and it's killing us. As a result, I emailed one of my supervisors to request that someone else take over since I am not qualified to manage that kind of thing. I'll still work there in a support role, but someone else will have to direct and stupidvise the place.
Every day I work there, my faith in humanity dies a little. I thought middle-class business types were bad enough, now I deal with people the likes of which I only see on TV, movies, and episodes of COPS. A lot of them are cool, average ordinary horny men and women looking to see some tits and ass. The rest...my God. I knew there were certain "elements" in society, but never had to interact with them until I got this job. I could not believe the inherent selfishness, self-centeredness, and entitled "It's all about me, bitch" tunnel vision. All I do is park their cars, so I'm just getting a taste. It takes a certain mentality and temperament to be able to function (much less be effective) in that environment, and I simply do not possess those qualities. I look at the police officers staffing the security and wonder what they must have seen from these people. I can not blame them for having short tempers with some of the customers, doing things to them that would get me fired (and sued) anywhere else. I end up finishing off a shift in a kind of uncaring haze, sharing that same thousand-yard stare from a few of my co-workers. This must be what it's like to be "all out of fucks to give", as the saying goes. I don't like that feeling. Not one bit.
In addition, I also mentioned how I had finally found the Holy Grail of med combos that I've been searching for. It was this combo that keeps me motivated and helps me handle the aforementioned stress of my job. The problem comes in the ignorance of my doctor's nurse, who refuses to forward my request because "it's like taking two doses of the same thing" (her words). Dealing with this kind of professional ignorance is frustrating, because I trust professionals to know their shit. I had to do my own research and print out a clinical study to support my position, which I will take to my clinic tomorrow. Strattera and Adderall are completely different chemicals working on completely different levels of the brain; for me they exceed the sum of their parts to give me the clarity and motivation I've lacked for half a decade. There are no contra-indications and I even got a blessing from the pharmacist I got them from. Now I have to work that much harder to convince my doctor and/or find a psychiatrist that specializes in and understands ADHD management.
Add to this a new twist (pun very intended) that I slipped and fell on the wet tile floor of a hotel entrance at the beginning of Thursday's shift. This was witnessed by the hotel doorman and an associate of my employer, so there's no denying it occurred. At first it wasn't too bad, my right wrist felt a little kinked. I went about my business and continued to do my job. But by the next day my left knee started feeling "off", and by Saturday sending sharp pains up my leg. This afternoon after waking up, my knee almost gave way altogether on the way down the stairs, and even as I lay here in bed I am feelings strange sensations around it. I had to file my first injury report ever, and only a month into the job. I seriously hope nothing comes of this and it heals on its own, just as I'm getting my shit together again.
On the plus side, my rent is all caught up now and I'm starting to pay off secondary expenses like a traffic ticket for having an expired inspection tag, and (irony of ironies) a parking ticket from the courthouse to ask for an extension to pay it. After this, I can start focusing on paying off my doctor bills and buying materials for old business, taking it easy at work so I can get back in the shop and make progress.
Speaking of old business, my shop's landlord finally got the glass for the windows I built three months ago for the new storefront. I got a little bit of work done on them and could feel the old passion well up inside me again, so I still got it. This doesn't mean I'm getting back into carpentry anytime soon, it just means I am still capable of experiencing joy from my craft as long as I don't push it too hard. Harbor Freight had a massive tool sale last week, and for once I had money, but I literally could not dredge up the desire to even pull in to the parking lot as I was passing by it. That's when I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I am through with professional woodworking.
I continue to stick to my diet of veggies, potatoes, and eggs, with a once-weekly treat of a meal out with some friends. I'm holding steady at 182 because I can't push myself too hard with physical exertion until my legs (and now my knee) recover.
Every day I work there, my faith in humanity dies a little. I thought middle-class business types were bad enough, now I deal with people the likes of which I only see on TV, movies, and episodes of COPS. A lot of them are cool, average ordinary horny men and women looking to see some tits and ass. The rest...my God. I knew there were certain "elements" in society, but never had to interact with them until I got this job. I could not believe the inherent selfishness, self-centeredness, and entitled "It's all about me, bitch" tunnel vision. All I do is park their cars, so I'm just getting a taste. It takes a certain mentality and temperament to be able to function (much less be effective) in that environment, and I simply do not possess those qualities. I look at the police officers staffing the security and wonder what they must have seen from these people. I can not blame them for having short tempers with some of the customers, doing things to them that would get me fired (and sued) anywhere else. I end up finishing off a shift in a kind of uncaring haze, sharing that same thousand-yard stare from a few of my co-workers. This must be what it's like to be "all out of fucks to give", as the saying goes. I don't like that feeling. Not one bit.
In addition, I also mentioned how I had finally found the Holy Grail of med combos that I've been searching for. It was this combo that keeps me motivated and helps me handle the aforementioned stress of my job. The problem comes in the ignorance of my doctor's nurse, who refuses to forward my request because "it's like taking two doses of the same thing" (her words). Dealing with this kind of professional ignorance is frustrating, because I trust professionals to know their shit. I had to do my own research and print out a clinical study to support my position, which I will take to my clinic tomorrow. Strattera and Adderall are completely different chemicals working on completely different levels of the brain; for me they exceed the sum of their parts to give me the clarity and motivation I've lacked for half a decade. There are no contra-indications and I even got a blessing from the pharmacist I got them from. Now I have to work that much harder to convince my doctor and/or find a psychiatrist that specializes in and understands ADHD management.
Add to this a new twist (pun very intended) that I slipped and fell on the wet tile floor of a hotel entrance at the beginning of Thursday's shift. This was witnessed by the hotel doorman and an associate of my employer, so there's no denying it occurred. At first it wasn't too bad, my right wrist felt a little kinked. I went about my business and continued to do my job. But by the next day my left knee started feeling "off", and by Saturday sending sharp pains up my leg. This afternoon after waking up, my knee almost gave way altogether on the way down the stairs, and even as I lay here in bed I am feelings strange sensations around it. I had to file my first injury report ever, and only a month into the job. I seriously hope nothing comes of this and it heals on its own, just as I'm getting my shit together again.
On the plus side, my rent is all caught up now and I'm starting to pay off secondary expenses like a traffic ticket for having an expired inspection tag, and (irony of ironies) a parking ticket from the courthouse to ask for an extension to pay it. After this, I can start focusing on paying off my doctor bills and buying materials for old business, taking it easy at work so I can get back in the shop and make progress.
Speaking of old business, my shop's landlord finally got the glass for the windows I built three months ago for the new storefront. I got a little bit of work done on them and could feel the old passion well up inside me again, so I still got it. This doesn't mean I'm getting back into carpentry anytime soon, it just means I am still capable of experiencing joy from my craft as long as I don't push it too hard. Harbor Freight had a massive tool sale last week, and for once I had money, but I literally could not dredge up the desire to even pull in to the parking lot as I was passing by it. That's when I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt I am through with professional woodworking.
I continue to stick to my diet of veggies, potatoes, and eggs, with a once-weekly treat of a meal out with some friends. I'm holding steady at 182 because I can't push myself too hard with physical exertion until my legs (and now my knee) recover.