(no subject)
Sometimes I think I should start ascribing to at least vaguely religious or occult ideas, if only to explain some bizzare and somewhat depressing things in my life. For instance, this semester, I, for want of a better description, fell for a woman. I haven't told her as such yet, and might not ever at this point, because she's transferring out for lack of funds and other various bullshit provided by the college. As some of my longtime readers might recall, the girl who I fell for last year also did not stay at the college.
Further, this semester, I've been having vast problems with financial aid. Everytime I seem to find something to present to them that would vastly improve my situation, it comes up that they are actually in the right and that my sure footings are more akin to sand and ash. So, now, I'm owing the college $10,000 and I need to pay them soon so I can continue going to college.
This leads me to believe that I might have some fucked up psychic gift that is highly masochistic in nature, insofar as I choose things that will harm me. That, or there is a greater intelligence out there in the universe, and it is an asshole that enjoys my suffering.
Beyond that, not much is going on with me. I'm despairing over whether or not to tell the woman that I'm greatly attracted to her or just letting her leave without telling her because it would likely do me no good anyway. I'm also falling way behind in classes for a variety of reasons, from my own laziness to motivation being sapped away by the very real prospect that I will be unable to afford going to college for much longer.
Sorry for not having much in the way of sunshine and happiness, but I do what I can. If I get time in the near future, I shall write up some philosophy or something about my inner thoughts and feelings or just something more than my standard issue bitchfests. We'll see.
I still love all of you and still hope you all get the best. Namaste, yo.
Further, this semester, I've been having vast problems with financial aid. Everytime I seem to find something to present to them that would vastly improve my situation, it comes up that they are actually in the right and that my sure footings are more akin to sand and ash. So, now, I'm owing the college $10,000 and I need to pay them soon so I can continue going to college.
This leads me to believe that I might have some fucked up psychic gift that is highly masochistic in nature, insofar as I choose things that will harm me. That, or there is a greater intelligence out there in the universe, and it is an asshole that enjoys my suffering.
Beyond that, not much is going on with me. I'm despairing over whether or not to tell the woman that I'm greatly attracted to her or just letting her leave without telling her because it would likely do me no good anyway. I'm also falling way behind in classes for a variety of reasons, from my own laziness to motivation being sapped away by the very real prospect that I will be unable to afford going to college for much longer.
Sorry for not having much in the way of sunshine and happiness, but I do what I can. If I get time in the near future, I shall write up some philosophy or something about my inner thoughts and feelings or just something more than my standard issue bitchfests. We'll see.
I still love all of you and still hope you all get the best. Namaste, yo.