gripping your pillow tight

[thrakoth]

hey, been awhile....how've you been? yeah I'm alright I reckon. Anywho.....Been working alot still so I guess that hasnt changed very much. I would still like to know why it is that the other dockman seem to take orders from me. I wish I would stop giving orders cause thats generally not the kind of guy I am. I'm kind of in a hard rock mood dont know why I'm not mad or anything. I am bugged I guess...I cant seem to figure out how I can make Kristie just happy...thats all just beaming happy. In turn I want to be able to die without regret and therefore be happy to. I dont like the idea that if something happened to me I would be leaving behind so much sorrow and trouble. Last thing I want is for the memory of me to bring anything other then joy or fear depending on who it is. I cant help but wonder how woman prisoner on prisoner rape is really possible, I mean it's not like there is any forced insertion or anything...at least not painful insertion. I am getting off topic. Or am I for there is no real topic at hand just my ramblings and musings. Why cant a man just deal with his sexual frustration in a non-aggressive or non-violent manner. Whatever. I have doubts but at the same time am resolute. All shall work out.

love ya honey bunny.