Rough night
aye last night was a bit tough on me. Work went well and all I have no complaints there. I mean it seems like night clean up is going to be a kind of a pain in the ass seeing as how there are like 40+ registers in Dillards and most of them are hidden. Kristie called me on my way home and we had a good convorsation then my phone died. Once home I could start talking to her again but this time the convorsation wasnt quite as good. She had some worries that I guess I really cant blame her for having but I just dont know how to make it so she dosent have these worries anymore. To make matters worse after she hung up and I figured out I couldnt actually do my homework thats due in about an hour and 10 minutes so I decided to go to sleep. Well my sleep was slightly less then restfull. After my first dream which consisted of a certain hispanic person messaging me on Aim about what he did while I was in New York I woke up with so many different feelings none of which were joy. I decided I really had to go back to sleep so I eventually just forced myself into it. I regretted it afterwards because not three hours later I woke up again due to another dream. This time rage was not present in my head nor was the blood lust that was there earlier in the night. So needless to say I am somewhat unhappy at this moment. I can't help but think that there is a good chance I wont even be able to talk to Kristie tonight seeing as how she wants to go to sleep at 9pm from now on, which is a good idea in my mind, she really needs her sleep. I cant help but feel somewhat down for my selfish reasons. I know I wont cheat, and I know why I know. I cant explain it to her really cause I cant help but think it will open up something else that I am trying to forget and move on from. I dont want her to feel bad about it anymore and I just wish my subconscious would quit bringing it up whenever I am tired or hungry, or kind of sad.
I dont know where in Sam hell Jeff is, he seems to have totally dissapeared and dosent return my calls. I dont think he's come to any harm but I sincerely hope he hasnt. I would be quite upset if he did and most likely the person responsible would learn to regret it shortly afterwards. Who knows maybe Jeff has gotten tired of me, I understand.
On a totally different note I cant help but think that I fuck alot of things up these days. I just dont think I can do anything right sometimes and really that is a kind of tough feeling. Eh whatever dont even bother reading this update I dont know why I made it I'm just in a bad mood from my night so my journal is going to reflect it. Heh I kind of told you not to bother reading this at the end of it so by the time you get down here I guess my suggestion is way too late. Theres a good chance I'll just delete this later. Kristie just know that I Love you and I will never NEVER cheat on you. I would stab myself in the groin before I let me cheat on you.
I dont know where in Sam hell Jeff is, he seems to have totally dissapeared and dosent return my calls. I dont think he's come to any harm but I sincerely hope he hasnt. I would be quite upset if he did and most likely the person responsible would learn to regret it shortly afterwards. Who knows maybe Jeff has gotten tired of me, I understand.
On a totally different note I cant help but think that I fuck alot of things up these days. I just dont think I can do anything right sometimes and really that is a kind of tough feeling. Eh whatever dont even bother reading this update I dont know why I made it I'm just in a bad mood from my night so my journal is going to reflect it. Heh I kind of told you not to bother reading this at the end of it so by the time you get down here I guess my suggestion is way too late. Theres a good chance I'll just delete this later. Kristie just know that I Love you and I will never NEVER cheat on you. I would stab myself in the groin before I let me cheat on you.