Same shit different sack
It seems I keep coming back to this place in order to just vent and get my thoughts off of my chest.
To update I have been in a relationship for 5 months now with a wonderful woman. We have gone through plenty in the last few months and have good communication or at least I thought we did until today.
Today was a fun day mostly. We went to the fair, ate jumbo corndogs, walked around to look at the animals and avoid the carny games. Things were going great. Then we run into a long time friend of hers. They get to talking about old memories and such when she says "Oh I haven't introduced you two. This is my boyfriend Tim, for now"
Now, let me explain something, when a woman says that even in a joking tone that's fucked up. I've never heard anything like that come from her lips ever. That sent a reverberating shiver of doubt and hurt through me. Fuck, am I just the next guy until she finds another one? I've talked about some serious long time plans like children, marriage, house and moving to another state with this woman. Now you may be thinking, you know she could of been joking. Let me put this in perspective then, if you reverse the roles and I said the exact same thing, how do you think that reaction would of went? Not well? You would be right but being a good boyfriend and a adult I just kinda stuck that in the back of my brain to deal with and work through without lashing out at her. We enjoy the rest of the day and I try not to be a grump or angry. After a couple hours I calm down and work through it without lashing out at her or being too grumpy. On the ride home I say "Ok, so I feel like I'm not grumpy and I can talk about something now. I'm in a better mood. Your remember when you were talking to your friend and you said "I'm your boyfriend, for now" that hurt my feelings. I'm over it and have worked through it but I needed to let you know how I felt.
She proceeds to get angry and grumpy over me telling her this. She gives me a semi sarcastic "I'm sorry" and then just kinda shuts down all communication. I ask her why are you grumpy? I'm over this and I'm not mad I just needed to get that off my chest. She just kinda said she was like kinda grumpy and was thinking.
Fast forward a few hours. Everything seems to have blown over and we are fine. I head over to her place after her and her dad go have dinner. We all sit and talk for awhile about small log cabins and discuss which styles we like. While this is going on I see her drawing a design for a leather cloak she wants to make. I see she has put 2 clasps on the front side of her cloak. I ask, like I have asked many artists "I see your designing a cloak, what made you choose the two clasps up front?" She response with its how she wants it to look and function. I then offer some constructive input "So leather is kinda heady and likes to not stick on your shoulders unless you have a clasp at the shoulder since you don't have sleeves. You may want to think about doing a overlapping flaps with a attachment at the shoulders so it doesn't slip" Since I have worn a lot of leather in my time and I've also talked a lot with numerous experienced leather workers. I said this as politely and as caring as possible mind you. No accusing tone, no condescending talk, just pure ideas and input since she has asked for it in the past. Boy was I wrong, she came back with "When you say that it makes me sound like I don't know what I'm doing and don't know how to design. Makes me sound stupid"
I responded "That's not how I said it and not what I meant. I was just asking for some input on why you designed it like this. To let you tell me your creative process, not to criticize or ridicule you"
Said I was sorry that I will work on my phrasing and words if this kinda situation ever comes up again. She was REALLY pissed. So I said "I see I've upset you, I'm going to go" Now I told her earlier I was going to sleep in my own bed because I have a long day tomorrow.
She replies with "You were going to leave anyway. Don't make it sound like your leaving because of this." I just threw up my hands in a sign of surrender and back away saying "I'm doing fighting, said I was sorry, love you, have a good night"
"Yeah you have a good night too" in the most sarcastic way possible. No I love you, no nothing just pure anger and sarcasm.
Since that happened a few hours ago I've played it over in my brain trying to figure out what I did and if I did something. I confided in a mutual friend who knows both of us and asked for a outside perspective. He gave me encouragement and told me sometimes she gets into these moods. So my thought was, so if she gets in these moods am I not suppose to be me and just buckle to her whims and words? I try to do the right thing but sometimes, it seems like no matter what action I take it doesn't go well. I just hope that this storm passed over and that this is just based off of some frustration or insecurity I accidentally touched on.
Now I head to sleep for a long day and hope that this all blows over. I love her greatly and I don't want it to end but it's hard to know she is going to react or what she is going to do sometimes. Maybe this is the time she breaks up with me and moves on. I hope not.
Until next time.
To update I have been in a relationship for 5 months now with a wonderful woman. We have gone through plenty in the last few months and have good communication or at least I thought we did until today.
Today was a fun day mostly. We went to the fair, ate jumbo corndogs, walked around to look at the animals and avoid the carny games. Things were going great. Then we run into a long time friend of hers. They get to talking about old memories and such when she says "Oh I haven't introduced you two. This is my boyfriend Tim, for now"
Now, let me explain something, when a woman says that even in a joking tone that's fucked up. I've never heard anything like that come from her lips ever. That sent a reverberating shiver of doubt and hurt through me. Fuck, am I just the next guy until she finds another one? I've talked about some serious long time plans like children, marriage, house and moving to another state with this woman. Now you may be thinking, you know she could of been joking. Let me put this in perspective then, if you reverse the roles and I said the exact same thing, how do you think that reaction would of went? Not well? You would be right but being a good boyfriend and a adult I just kinda stuck that in the back of my brain to deal with and work through without lashing out at her. We enjoy the rest of the day and I try not to be a grump or angry. After a couple hours I calm down and work through it without lashing out at her or being too grumpy. On the ride home I say "Ok, so I feel like I'm not grumpy and I can talk about something now. I'm in a better mood. Your remember when you were talking to your friend and you said "I'm your boyfriend, for now" that hurt my feelings. I'm over it and have worked through it but I needed to let you know how I felt.
She proceeds to get angry and grumpy over me telling her this. She gives me a semi sarcastic "I'm sorry" and then just kinda shuts down all communication. I ask her why are you grumpy? I'm over this and I'm not mad I just needed to get that off my chest. She just kinda said she was like kinda grumpy and was thinking.
Fast forward a few hours. Everything seems to have blown over and we are fine. I head over to her place after her and her dad go have dinner. We all sit and talk for awhile about small log cabins and discuss which styles we like. While this is going on I see her drawing a design for a leather cloak she wants to make. I see she has put 2 clasps on the front side of her cloak. I ask, like I have asked many artists "I see your designing a cloak, what made you choose the two clasps up front?" She response with its how she wants it to look and function. I then offer some constructive input "So leather is kinda heady and likes to not stick on your shoulders unless you have a clasp at the shoulder since you don't have sleeves. You may want to think about doing a overlapping flaps with a attachment at the shoulders so it doesn't slip" Since I have worn a lot of leather in my time and I've also talked a lot with numerous experienced leather workers. I said this as politely and as caring as possible mind you. No accusing tone, no condescending talk, just pure ideas and input since she has asked for it in the past. Boy was I wrong, she came back with "When you say that it makes me sound like I don't know what I'm doing and don't know how to design. Makes me sound stupid"
I responded "That's not how I said it and not what I meant. I was just asking for some input on why you designed it like this. To let you tell me your creative process, not to criticize or ridicule you"
Said I was sorry that I will work on my phrasing and words if this kinda situation ever comes up again. She was REALLY pissed. So I said "I see I've upset you, I'm going to go" Now I told her earlier I was going to sleep in my own bed because I have a long day tomorrow.
She replies with "You were going to leave anyway. Don't make it sound like your leaving because of this." I just threw up my hands in a sign of surrender and back away saying "I'm doing fighting, said I was sorry, love you, have a good night"
"Yeah you have a good night too" in the most sarcastic way possible. No I love you, no nothing just pure anger and sarcasm.
Since that happened a few hours ago I've played it over in my brain trying to figure out what I did and if I did something. I confided in a mutual friend who knows both of us and asked for a outside perspective. He gave me encouragement and told me sometimes she gets into these moods. So my thought was, so if she gets in these moods am I not suppose to be me and just buckle to her whims and words? I try to do the right thing but sometimes, it seems like no matter what action I take it doesn't go well. I just hope that this storm passed over and that this is just based off of some frustration or insecurity I accidentally touched on.
Now I head to sleep for a long day and hope that this all blows over. I love her greatly and I don't want it to end but it's hard to know she is going to react or what she is going to do sometimes. Maybe this is the time she breaks up with me and moves on. I hope not.
Until next time.