New Fic: Fantasies (Sam/Daniel, NC-17)

Jan 08, 2009 11:11

Okay, I managed to finish the first of the two WiPs I resolved to post in January. Woot!

It's an NC-17, no-redeeming-features, sulf-indulgent, smutty Sam/Daniel PWP.

Fantasies
Genres: PWP, smut, uh, you could really stretch and call it romance...
Spoilers: The Broca Divide, Window of Opportunity, Proving Ground, Avenger 2.0
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Um, yeah. S/D smut. Sam and Daniel enjoy some quality downtime and learn a few things about each other in the process.
Note: As always, my thanks go to Amaranth for making this readable (I hope). Yeesh, smut is hard to write.

Sam woke up content, a smile tugging at her cheeks even before she was fully conscious. She loved waking like this, safe and tucked into her own bed, wrapped around a slumbering Daniel.

She nuzzled her face deeper into his chest, enjoying the scent and feel of his skin and the peaceful warmth of his embrace. His chin was resting on the top of her head. One of his arms lay under her neck, his elbow bent so his hand rested on her shoulder. His other hand held her lower body against him, and his fingers were slowly caressing her back even in his sleep. Their legs were tangled together, one of his in between hers, her top leg curled up and over his hip.

It was perfect, but Sam knew it wouldn’t last. She was always far too eager to wake him, at least on mornings like this when they had nowhere they needed to be. When there was a mission or if they had to get to the base, she would of course let him sleep as long as possible. But on their rare days off together she was eager to spend as much time as she could with him.

Preferably without ever leaving the bed.

It seemed the stress she’d experienced trying to fix the mess from Felger’s virus had not gone unnoticed by General Hammond. Nor had Daniel’s emotional state after being trapped on a flooded and collapsing world with hundreds of panicking natives. The General had decreed that they needed some downtime and ordered SG-1 off base for a full 48 hours.

They’d spent the first hour of their leave trying to keep their hands off each other over dinner and on their way home. The second had been spent scattering their clothes throughout her house, fingers and lips frantically trying to find enough bare skin to slake their desire so that Daniel didn’t have to take her up against the wall in the hallway. Sam smiled; as failed mission objectives went, that had been an enjoyable one. Once they did collapse into bed, they’d allowed their exhaustion to overtake them entirely.

According to Sam’s calculations, they had about 40 hours of leave remaining. She intended to use them wisely.

Her nuzzling turned into nibbling, and she gradually made her way across his chest, licking at his nipple before finding her way back up to his neck. He sighed when her lips reached his pulse point, but otherwise showed no sign of waking.

Clearly she’d have to work harder.

Sam trailed her fingers along Daniel’s neck, down his chest and across his abs. She continued over his hip and down his leg almost to his knee before switching directions and trailing up his inner thigh to her ultimate target. A gentle squeeze was rewarded by a soft moan and the feel of him thickening against her palm.

It really was amazing what the man could sleep through.

Enough was enough, Sam decided. As much fun as influencing Daniel’s dreams might be, she was ready for a bit of his conscious attention.

She kept her hand in motion, amused when his legs shifted apart to unconsciously allow her better access. She let her lips travel down his neck, his chest, and his abs, continuing on to his groin. She’d never been particularly good at this; her gag reflex had always been sensitive. But that didn’t stop her from enjoying it as she took him, still only half hard, into her mouth.

He was still asleep; his hips were thrusting him deeper into her mouth, something he was always careful not to do when awake. She knew the moment he woke up. His hips stilled and he inhaled sharply, no doubt at the realization that he wasn’t merely dreaming.

“Well, this is a very pleasant way to wake up,” he said, carding his hands through her hair before returning them to his sides and gripping the sheets to keep himself grounded.

“Mm hmm,” she hummed around him, and he groaned, his fingers tightening in the sheets.

It took only a few seconds for him to grow fully hard, and she could feel the tremors in his hips as he fought to remain still. She braced one arm across them to help and let her other hand trail down to his balls, caressing him intimately.

She teased him, swirling her tongue up and down and around before finally sucking him back in, flicking her tongue over the head in just the way he liked.

His groans became steadily louder, and in another minute, she heard what she’d been waiting for. “S-sa-mmm! God, y-yes.”

She let him drop from her mouth and stopped caressing, giving a tug instead. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to stop what had been about to happen.

Daniel’s groan turned into a definite whimper, though she doubted he’d ever admit to such a thing. His fingers released their death grip on the bed sheets and stretched toward her head before he stopped himself from pulling her mouth back onto him.

Sam smiled at his restraint and grazed her fingertips up his length, dropping a kiss to the tip and then watching for his reaction.

He breathed harshly a few times, trying to regain control. “Not fair, Sam.”

She slowly licked her way back up his chest. “I was just trying to wake you up. You said yourself that it was a pleasant way to do so.”

“I’ll remember this.”

“Mmm,” she agreed, settling down to nibble at a spot just below his collarbone. Then she started sucking, gently at first, but gradually building up pressure.

“Now what are you doing?”

Smiling into his skin, she let her teeth tug at him for another moment before letting go and soothing her tongue over the spot. She looked up into his still half-asleep gaze. “Marking my territory.” Her hand trailed back down to stroke him again.

“I see.” One of his hands slid up her back and into her hair, the other down to still the hand she was rubbing over him. “And who would you be marking ‘your territory’ against?”

“Your many admirers.”

“Uh huh.” He tucked his chin in and peered down at the blossoming red spot. “At least you’ve put it low enough that most of my shirts will cover it.”

“I’m nothing if not considerate.” She was actually quite proud of her discipline. That sensitive spot just under his jaw was very tempting.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “You realize you’ve set me up for a very long interrogation. I have to share a locker room with Jack, you know.”

“He won’t even notice.”

“Not at first, but Teal’c will. ‘You appear to have been injured, Daniel Jackson. Were you in a battle of which I was unaware?’ Pretty sure that’ll get Jack’s attention.”

“Teal’c wouldn’t be mean enough to do that.” She caught sight of Daniel’s dubious expression and reconsidered. “Okay, maybe he would. You’ll just have to use my excuse from when the Colonel caught me humming in my lab the other morning.”

“What? That I have a secret boyfriend?”

Sam snorted. “I was thinking girlfriend, but whatever amuses you the most.” She squeezed her hand around his erection, eliciting another moan.

Daniel tugged her face towards his and kissed her. His lower hand released hers and slid between her legs. “As entertaining as his reaction would be, I’m thinking something along these lines might amuse me more right now.”

Once she had his attention, she had it fully. Daniel was already pushing her onto her back, his lips skimming down her body to nibble at her breasts as his fingers slipped deliciously over and between her folds. Not that she minded, though a little teasing was in order. “Impatient this morning, are we?”

He let her nipple drop from his mouth and cocked an eyebrow at her. “You wake me up-from a very, very nice dream, I might add-with an incomplete blowjob and a hickey and then expect patience?”

“What can I say? I want it all.”

Daniel’s lips curved into an almost feral half-smile. “Really?” he growled.

Oh. Daniel didn’t get like this often, but when he did...so worth it. “Really.”

He hummed, pulling himself over her and capturing her lips for a more heated kiss. She reluctantly gave up her hold on his erection as he settled himself onto his elbows. His hands cradled her face, tilting her head and deepening the kiss.

Sam kissed him back, revelling in the weight of him pressing her deep into the mattress. She could still feel him, hot and hard against her thigh. Her teasing had turned her on at least as much as it had him, and she wanted him inside her. No further warm-up necessary.

When his mouth began a descent down her neck and he shifted his weight with clear intent, she tightened her grip in his hair, guiding him back to her lips. He pulled back and raised his eyebrows. “Too easy?”

She pressed her thigh into him. “I prefer hard.”

That earned an eye roll. “Very subtle, Sam.”

“Subtlety’s overrated.”

“Mmmm.” He reclaimed her lips, licking and sucking at them before thrusting his tongue in to explore her mouth, making it clear what she was missing. The reminder nearly had her caving, but she’d challenged his male ego and she’d be damned if she let his lingual talents distract her from witnessing the results.

Sam shifted her legs, spreading her thighs so that Daniel was nestled between. He took the hint and rubbed himself against her, gliding smoothly over her clit. She let him tease her for a moment, but her impatience won out and she soon reached down to guide him. He entered her slowly in a long, smooth slide, still nipping at her lips with his own.

Oh yeah. That was more like it. Sam sighed out her pleasure.

Daniel started out slowly, gently easing in and out of her. He nuzzled into her neck, caressing her skin with his mouth, teasing her ear with his tongue. It was so good. Really good. And any minute now he’d start to speed up, and it would get even better.

Except he didn’t.

“Daniel,” she finally said. “Can we pick up the pace a bit?”

“I need a minute. I’m still trying to recover from your little stunt earlier.”

Liar, she thought. He wasn’t recovering, he was getting her back. It didn’t matter, she decided. It still felt extraordinary. Daniel was breathing softly next to her ear, his lips teasing the spot behind it that always drove her crazy. She smoothed her hands up his back, urging him on, but not particularly concerned that he was ignoring it. The heat was building in her, and it was all the more promising that it was doing so very slowly.

But as time went on and Sam became more and more aroused, it became harder for her to tolerate the tempo Daniel was setting. Much harder. He had to move faster. She reached down and grabbed his hips, pulling him down against her, pulling herself up onto him.

Daniel grinned down at her. “Patience wearing out already, Sam?”

Screw patience and the game they were playing. She needed to come. Immediately. She tugged at his hips again, rubbing against him at just the pace she craved. That was it. Oh, God. Almost-

Daniel arched his back and took his weight off his forearms, increasing the pressure of his lower body on hers. His hands slid down her arms and pulled her hands from his hips. Without the leverage, Sam could maintain neither friction nor pace, and her orgasm slipped away. She moaned at the loss.

Moaned. Not whimpered.

Daniel brought her arms above her head, pinning them against her pillows with a hand on each wrist. “Shhh, it’s okay,” he crooned, his breath hot and so close to her ear that it almost burned. “I’ll give it back. You’ll like it better this way. I promise.”

He held her like that for an infuriatingly long moment, his hips completely still. His tongue licked around and behind her ear again, then down her neck and across her throat. She shifted impatiently, trying hard not to writhe. She wanted to scream. Wanted to beg, too, though her stubborn pride kept her from doing either.

An eternity later, he seemed satisfied that she had backed far enough away from the edge. He pulled himself farther up her body, increasing the amount of weight on her wrists. It didn’t hurt, not after he got settled, but it was enough to keep her from being able to free herself. Not without using combat training that might injure one or both of them, anyway.

Sam didn’t normally like to give up so much control, but Daniel holding her down was one hell of a turn on. Actually, pretty much everything he was doing was a turn on. If only he’d do it faster.

She chose not to acknowledge that she had only herself to blame.

When he started to move again, she realized the other purpose of his shift of position. Every stroke he made was now rubbing against her clit in just the right way. She panted out her appreciation, and he rewarded her with a single swivel of his hips. She didn’t even try to suppress the groan that emerged from deep within her.

She tilted her hips up, and he sank deeper still. The need in her was so great it seemed like years since she’d done this, not merely six or so hours. Last night, Daniel had shown none of the self-control he was currently exerting. Control she wanted to see break. Needed to see break.

Another swivel of his hips brought her attention back to the present. His eyes were wide and dark, the lust clear. He obviously appreciated seeing her lose control. He rocked into her again, and her head tossed involuntarily. Pride failed her as words slipped from her lips at the unbearable feeling of Almost. “Daniel, please. Please.”

His mouth covered hers, tongue probing deeply, licking and tasting her, even as he finally, blessedly, started to thrust faster. Each grind of his hips pressed him perfectly over her clit, and she felt herself start to spiral out of control. Almost. Just out of reach. So. Close.

Daniel pulled his mouth away from hers and licked at her ear one more time. She felt his breath, but almost missed his words as they brushed past her ear, just as he ground into her harder than ever. “Come for me, Sam.”

Suddenly, Almost was Right There, and Sam broke and shuddered and came, crying out, feeling herself ripple all along the hard length still steadily pumping into her. Her orgasm went on and on, far longer than she thought was possible, prolonged by the unbelievable feel of him moving at just the right speed to accentuate every tremble, every twitch. The incredible feeling peaked, and she began to return to Earth.

She opened her eyes a moment later to find Daniel smirking down at her.

“What?”

“You obeyed me.” He seemed inordinately pleased with himself.

She was still short of breath, but she had to spare a snort. “Anyone ever tell you you can be an arrogant SOB?”

“Jack might have mentioned it. Once or twice.”

“A day?”

Daniel nodded cheerfully. “For seven years.” He released her wrists and again settled onto his forearms on either side of her head. She gratefully lowered her arms, running her hands along the biceps bracing his weight above her, along the deltoids adding balance to his motion, along the buttocks rhythmically clenching and releasing each time he filled her and then retreated.

It didn’t take long before Sam felt the warmth spreading through her again. She’d just had one of the most intense orgasms of her life, and he already had her body anticipating another.

He had good cause to be arrogant, she had to admit, whether they were in bed or at work. That was likely the reason she’d been having more and more trouble keeping the two separate in her head.

Not all the time, of course. Life-threatening situations and intriguing puzzles tended to help her focus. And she loved her job. Loved her team. Loved Daniel for so many reasons besides how he made her feel when deep inside her.

But she couldn’t seem to stop the illicit thoughts that crept up on her at the most inconvenient times. The fantasies that played out in her head were impossible to fulfill yet wouldn’t leave her alone.

All at once, Sam needed to know that she wasn’t alone. He was clearly enjoying himself; the soft sounds he was making in her ear told her so. But she needed to know she wasn’t the only one obsessed with this blistering hot sex they’d discovered.

“Daniel?” She smoothed a hand up his back, pausing to admire his flexing muscles again.

He lifted his head and looked at her, the heat in his eyes almost masking the query in his gaze.

“Do you ever think about doing this on base?”

He chuckled softly. “Probably not a great idea. I doubt General Hammond would be amused.”

She shook her head. “No. But do you ever think about it?”

“Hmm.” He licked at her lips. “All the time.”

Oh. That was exactly what she’d wanted to hear. Well, not exactly. Not yet. “Tell me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Tell you?”

“Tell me what you want to do with me on base.”

His other eyebrow rose to meet the first. He searched her eyes for a long moment. Then his expression turned positively sultry. “Are you sure you can handle knowing?”

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure at all, but she knew her curiosity would kill her otherwise. “I can handle anything you’ve got.”

Daniel hummed appreciatively and pressed his lips to hers in a long kiss before studying her eyes again.

“I want to bend you over your lab bench and take you hard and fast with my pants around my knees,” he said. He demonstrated with three quick strokes, enough to cause her back to arch in pleasure, before switching back to the more sedate pace he’d been holding all along.

“I want you to ride me on the ramp while the stargate is active,” he continued. “I want our lovemaking to be nice and slow so I can caress the ripples of the event horizon that reflect off your delicious skin.” He tilted, putting all his weight on one elbow so he could run his other hand across her chest, his fingers teasing their way across her nipple as if he could already see the blue light dancing over it.

Sam groaned at the image and felt a wave of heat surge through her.

“Mmm.” Daniel smiled. He settled back onto her and adjusted his thrusting to reach a bit deeper. “Liked that one, did you?”

“Oh, yeah,” she moaned, feeling her climax approaching quickly. “What else?”

He leaned down again, his voice deepening to a husky whisper. “I want to sit behind my desk with you laid out naked across it and spend hours tasting and exploring you, feeling you come again and again against my mouth, hearing your screams echo around my office.”

That was it. The energy building within her broke and she came again. His lips swooped down to hers and swallowed her cry with a scorching kiss. And still his control held. He pushed through her orgasm again, extending and enhancing it.

God. So good. But she desperately needed to see him break too.

Once her tremors eased, Sam threaded her hands through his hair and passionately kissed him back. She unabashedly used his distraction to flip them over and pushed herself up onto her knees.

His hands settled on her outer thighs, and he looked up at her, a small smile playing on his lips.

She shook her head, glaring down at him in mock disapproval. “Pretty cocky this morning, aren’t you?”

His smile turned into another smirk, and he teased a thumb over her clit before moving his hand back to her thigh. “Nice of you to notice.”

“Now who’s unsubtle?” she asked, slowly starting to move again. “The question is, what do you want me to do about it?”

“I think you have the, uh...” He seemed to momentarily lose his train of thought when she reached behind her to fondle his balls. “The general idea. Though if you stop me again...”

“I won’t,” she promised, smiling as his eyes fluttered closed and his breathing grew faster.

But after a few moments, his eyes opened again. “Sam?”

What in the world could possibly have distracted him?

“Tell me.”

Turnabout was so not fair play. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to share her fantasies with him. It wasn’t as if either of them were shy about sex, but some of her thoughts were, well, non-standard.

Then again, after he’d been so good about sharing his, she couldn’t really deny him. She nodded slowly, and then took several moments to work up her courage before speaking.

“I want you to plaster me to the wall in the showers. I want to feel the cool tile against my breasts as you drive into me while the heat and the wet flows all around us.”

Daniel shivered beneath her. His hands smoothed up her sides, and he brushed his thumbs over her nipples.

Okay. So maybe he’d be turned on rather than shocked.

“I want to crawl under the briefing room table while you’re giving a presentation, to lick and suck you as you struggle to maintain focus, to hear you stutter as you try to hide your climax.”

His eyes closed, and he gave a soft moan.

“I want to strap you down in one of the isolation rooms in the infirmary and tease and torment you until you’re writhing in anticipation, begging me to please, God, please just let you come.”

His moan turned into a deep-throated groan, and his hands abandoned her breasts, clutching at her thighs instead.

How on Earth had she not realized before that words would be Daniel’s biggest kink? It was strikingly obvious, and now that she knew she planned on shamelessly abusing her power every chance she got.

Sam leaned forward and let her natural inclination towards speed take over. The control was in her hands now, and she would make his break soon. His hips rolled up to meet hers each time, no longer trying to slow the pace.

She almost had him. She could feel it. Almost.

“I want to sit on you in the General’s big leather chair. See how far it tilts back and if it can withstand the strain of you, completely out of control, thrusting up into me.”

Daniel’s head jerked back into the pillow. His hands tightened around her hips and, much like the scene she’d just laid out, he thrust upwards three times, almost bucking her off the bed before roaring out his release. Sam could see his eyes rolling under his lids as the strength of it tore through him.

She smiled, watching him as she pulled him through, moving in counterpoint to the spasms rolling through his body, prolonging his orgasm for as long as possible.

This was what she loved most. She loved the play of his muscles, loved the light reflecting off the thin sheen of sweat that covered him. She loved the rapturous expression on his face and the way his neck arched as his head thrashed against the pillow. And she loved how he cried out her name, sometimes even wordlessly. As good as he could make her feel, seeing him like this was what brought it all together.

Soon enough, his muscles began to relax, and Sam lay down on top of him, nibbling at his neck as she waited for him to return to the world. When his shuddering eased, she gave him a long kiss. “You okay?”

Daniel groaned softly, still not opening his eyes. “That was probably the hottest thing that’s ever almost killed me.”

She smirked, returning her attention to the blossoming bruise on his collar bone. “Looked like it might for a moment there.”

“I can think of worse ways to go.” He smoothed his hands up her back and kissed the side of her head.

“Me too,” she agreed before settling her head onto his shoulder. She just enjoyed the feel of him for a long while, tracing idle patterns on his chest with her fingers, mimicking those he was trailing up and down her spine. “None of that is ever going to happen, is it?”

“Mmm?” he asked drowsily. As generous as he was, Daniel was still typically male when it came to some things. Complete exhaustion after sex was generally one of them, though in this case she could hardly blame him.

“All our fantasies about making love on base.”

He uttered a soft snort. “Not without a recurrence of the Touched virus. Or maybe another set of those time loops Jack and Teal’c experienced.”

Sam sighed. “Too bad. Some of them sounded pretty good.”

Daniel cracked one eye open and looked at her. “Y’know, just because we can’t fulfill them on base doesn’t mean we can’t approximate them in private.”

She propped herself up on one elbow, leaning her cheek into her hand. “What do you mean?”

“Uh, well, your kitchen counter is about the same height as your lab bench, for example.” He opened his other eye, carefully watching her reaction.

Sam smiled at the image his words brought to mind. “I guess it is.”

“And you have that nice big shower with those attractive new tiles.”

Oh yeah. That was one of her favourite daydreams. She was getting warm just thinking about it. “Another good point.”

Daniel smirked, wiggling just a bit under her, stimulating her where they were still connected. He knew this conversation was turning her on again, damn him. “My office at home has that great big desk. I’d love to see you spread out across it.”

She had a feeling she’d love to see that too.

“I could probably also be persuaded to buy a new chair,” he continued. “The General’s really is very comfortable.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Those training simulations for new recruits where I get to play the Overlord of the Alien Incursion.”

“Ah, right. Nice cushy job you have there while I have to run around being the Unaffected Escapee.”

“You get zatted less often.”

“True.” She leaned in to give him a sympathetic kiss and then sighed. “I guess I’ll never be able to go down on you under the briefing room table.” She tilted her head in thought. “Though maybe I could crawl under your desk at home while you’re on the phone with someone. Say, the Colonel?”

Daniel’s forehead creased, and he opened his mouth. Sam placed her finger on his lips, stalling his impending objection. “Nuh uh. You get to lay me out over it, I get to torment you under it.”

His eyes glazed over slightly as she returned his wiggle. She was rewarded when he twitched deep inside her. Seemed she wasn’t the only one getting turned on by the conversation. Interesting. It usually took him longer to recover. This word kink was going to be very useful.

Daniel cleared his throat. He tilted his head back to look at her headboard. “Now, I’m no expert, and I know it’s not the same as the infirmary, but it seems to me that the ironworking up there would make it easy to attach straps or other such implements to the bed.”

Oh, God. That’d be her other favourite fantasy. “You’d really let me tie you down and make you beg?”

Another twitch from below gave away his true answer, though he tried to play it coy. “I might be persuaded, if I had the chance to turn the tables.”

Sam couldn’t quite suppress the shiver that ran through her at the thought. Daniel would have her writhing in minutes, and would probably be able to keep her on the edge for hours. She pondered what would be less likely to cut off her circulation: a couple of his ties, or a cut-up pair of nylons.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Daniel said. He pulled her into a kiss that had her desire building in no time. His too, judging from the way he was swelling inside her.

“So that just leaves the gate ramp. Any ideas?”

His forehead creased, though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to the slow circles she had started with her hips or trying to figure out how to mimic the effects of an event horizon. “I’ll, uh, I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”

“I can live with that.” Sam’s back arched as Daniel’s fingers started drawing intricate and stimulating runes on her sides and back. “What should we start with?”

“I vote for the shower. Hot and wet sounds really good right about now. And once we’re clean, we can see about getting distracted while making breakfast. Eventually, we can make our way to my place and check out the office situation.”

“Mmm,” she murmured, momentarily sucking his bottom lip into her mouth. “Sounds like a good plan, though we may want breakfast before getting distracted by the kitchen counter. I think we’ll need the energy.”

Daniel’s answer was cut off when Sam’s lips covered his again. She indulged in a thorough examination of his mouth, taking a quick break now and then so they could breathe.

“You know,” Daniel said, once she gave him the chance. “If we’re going to make it to the shower, at some point you’re going to have to get off of me.”

“Maybe I just want to get off on you.”

“We can always shower later.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say.”

XXXXXXXX

Two days leave for his whole team, and all he’d had to do was promise Hammond he wouldn’t throttle Felger. Not a bad deal, from Jack’s perspective, though it’d been close for a moment. Or two.

The evening before had been quiet. He’d barbecued up a steak and flaked out on the couch to watch the game. All in all, quite enjoyable, but Jack was in the mood for something more social this evening. With a loud stretch, he glanced at the phone, wondering what Daniel was up to.

Working, no doubt. On his day off.

Daniel’s phone rang and rang. Jack was just about to give up when it was answered.

“Uh, hello?”

“Let me guess,” Jack said. “You’re heavily involved in the bunch of rocks you have scattered all over your desk, and you don’t want to be disturbed.”

Jack could practically hear Daniel rolling his eyes. “I do have a...project laid out on my desk, now that you mention it. But when I saw your number, I figured you could be calling for something important. Like Armageddon. I take it that’s not the case?”

“Since when does the world have to be ending before I call you?”

“Weekend off, Jack. Remember? That means I can spend it any way-” Daniel’s sentence ended with a sharp gasp.

“Daniel? You alright?”

There was a short pause. “Fine. I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“My, uh, my project is now on the floor, but everything still seems to be in, ah, working order.”

Huh. Daniel’s voice sounded almost strangled, but it was probably just the strain of nearly breaking the fancy tablet or whatever it was he was playing with. “How about you take a break from the science crap and we go out for some munchies and beer?”

“Not tonight.”

“Ah, come on. We’ll go to that new pub near the base. That red-headed waitress seriously has a thing for you.”

Daniel didn’t answer, which Jack supposed shouldn’t surprise him. The man always had been oblivious to women. His breathing rate increased, though, so maybe he was interested.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

“I can honestly say I’ve never given her a second thought,” Daniel said after a long moment.

“See? This is your problem. Do you have any idea how much better you’d feel if you just went out and interacted with women once and a while? Earth women.”

Daniel’s snort was so dismissive it ended with another gasp. “Are you-” he cleared his throat. “Are you implying that I need to get laid, Jack?”

“Not in such crude terms, but now that you mention it, yes.” Of course, Daniel wasn’t the only one. It’d been awhile for Jack, too. And it was about time Teal’c started exploring the fairer Tau’ri sex. Pathetic that the only one of them who had a love life right now was Carter. Speaking of... “Hey, has Carter mentioned anything to you about this mystery man of hers?”

“I, uh, I haven’t asked.”

Daniel knew more than he was saying. Jack could feel it. But pestering Daniel would accomplish nothing. Not if he’d promised Carter he wouldn’t tell. Jack sighed. “Well, at least one of us is getting some.”

“Unh,” Daniel said. “One-One of us i-is. Y-yes.”

Jack frowned. “Are you sure you’re alright? And if you didn’t ask, how do you know she’s-” Abruptly, the phone clattered loudly in his ear. Jack heard a muffled snort, a cut-off expletive, a long moment of dead air, and then finally Daniel’s voice again.

“Jack? Sorry. Dropped the phone.”

“Yeah, believe it or not, I got that. If that’s the best you can do to avoid a question, we may have to revoke your linguist badge. Tell me, did you get any sleep last night or have you been playing with your project since you left the base?”

Daniel gave a huff of laughter. “There was sleeping involved at one point.”

“Uh huh,” Jack said. “How much?”

“Jack, I’m hanging up now. See you tomorrow.” Daniel disconnected, though not before Jack heard him murmur, “So gonna pay for tha-”

Jack stared at the phone for a long moment. That wasn’t the oddest conversation he’d ever had with Daniel - not even close, really - but it wasn’t exactly normal, either. Daniel’s current ‘project’ was clearly engrossing. No doubt Jack would have to listen to a long lecture on the existential nature of ancient something-or-other as recorded by who-the-hell-cared when they got back to work.

Jack sighed again. The only sane option was to interrupt now and hope to get the abbreviated version over some beer. He grabbed his jacket and slipped on his shoes.

There was one thing Jack knew Daniel was right about. He was going to pay for wanting to play the hermit. When they got to the bar, the first couple of rounds would be on Daniel. And if he tried to avoid it by not answering the door, well, Jack always had his spare key...

END

Did we get the part about no-redeeming features? I think my post-partum hormones, combined with a baby who ensures I only rarely get any, are conspiring to send my brain permanently into the gutter. Sigh. If you find it readable, you should probably thank amaranthtraces.

For those on my flist who are appalled by this sort of thing (shippiness in general, S/D in particular, or smut on a moral level), remember that my other promised WiP is a teamy gen outsider perspective piece. Hopefully I can get it to a level that's not complete crap by February 1st.

stargate, my fic, sam/daniel

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