Security and stuff
I've gone back and done some pre-emptory thread-freezing, banning, and de-friending here, on Twitter, and some other places. Why? Because I don't have time/patience to deal with potential trolls and some friends and people I follow online have been getting trolled. Right now Michelle of The Fat Nutritionist is getting hit. I ♥ her dearly and had a wonderful email conversation with her a couple of weeks ago and she really is a class act and a lovely human being.
Thanks to Metafilter in that instance. God, I fucking hate that place and wish it would stop existing. It's basically a directory of privilege, especially the really rank, snarky, trollish kind where people think that the world will be improved if they're really sarcastic on the internet. Apparently, if you intimidate people by mocking them a lot then you win a prize or something. IDEFK.
Never mind that the kind of discourse they engage in is the kind designed to shut down anyone challenging the system and it's exactly the kind that empowers the privileged at the expense of oppressed groups.
I also hate that whenever someone links there, any site, blog, or forum any kind of useful, community-building discourse gets instantly derailed. Especially if it is a link involving something to do with race or gender politics.
Anecdata: At least one person I know has said that their comments on Metafilter get a lot more respect and less flak now that they use a male-sounding username and pic on that site.
So, yeah.
I'm also changing the comments so that non-friend comments have to be approved. I don't care about being fair, I just don't.
Oh and another thing (and so far, it hasn't been too much of a problem), I'm also going to change my policy on certain things. I found this great comm, fucking_meds over on Dreamwidth, and I'm going to adopt their policy of making it clear when I do and do not want advice, and what kind of advice I'm looking for.
Why?
Because while you guys/gals have been incredibly helpful and it's none of you that are the issue, I have had a couple of folks (and if you're worried that it's you, it's probably NOT, because everyone who is still on my f-list as of writing this has been nothing but supportive and wonderful) pop their heads in and give shitty, half-assed advice. Advice that seems not to take into account what is written in that VERY ENTRY.
When recommending things or advising someone on health/exercise/weight issues to someone, at least pay attention to what they say when they mention DIAGNOSED MEDICAL CONDITIONS. Why? Because popping your head in to say, "Oh, hey try [insert thing] that I do because it works so great for me and here's a link to this site over here" when you don't even mention whether that advice/site is appropriate for someone DEALING WITH A FUCKING MEDICAL CONDITION.
I am so glad doing that works for you and your health regimen. I really am. But unless you say to me, "I too have this condition and I'm at/near your weight and have had a doctor look over this advice" - please don't tell me that my problem has such a simple fix.
Also? About that site? It's a site that seems geared toward upwardly mobile (I noticed all the model/bodies on that site are white and thin and mostly female), able bodied people who have access to healthy foods and places to exercise to begin with.
Linking me to a site who's about section says: "Stop eating and acting like a fat person and start emulating the diet and habits of a fit person" as though it is remotely helpful is insulting and arrogant of you. And fatphobic.
I'm sorry, what part of my 1 hour a day exercise and 1200 calorie diet is "acting like a fat person"? Because that's my diet, those are my habits. And I am still a FAT FUCKING PERSON. For that matter, please tell me - HOW DOES A FAT PERSON ACT? How do you act fat? Is that like acting "black" or acting "old"?
Please, INFORM ME OF HOW I AM "ACTING LIKE A FAT PERSON". I didn't realize that fat was more than just a statement about one's body size. I didn't realize it came with it's own culture and behavior patterns and actions just by virtue of having a body of a certain size.
Maybe you meant well, and even if you couldn't/didn't read previous entries about my struggles with this - that entry? Made it damn clear that I have special medical considerations I have to keep in mind. Never mind that that same entry makes it damn clear that this is also a very mentally, emotionally difficult thing for me.
I have to very preciously guard my mental health and safe spaces when it comes to these issues. Which means that I am not going to scruple at being rude to people who offer me only the minimum of respect under the guise of concern-trolling and can't be arsed to read the entire entry or even scroll back a couple of entries to get the whole story. The "previous entry" button is so conveniently located, dude. No excuse. I would have done the same for you.
On the good news side of things, it's beautiful and warmed up and spring-like and I can open the windows and let sunshine in. And my sinuses are acting less heinous than usual. Wheeee!
Thanks to Metafilter in that instance. God, I fucking hate that place and wish it would stop existing. It's basically a directory of privilege, especially the really rank, snarky, trollish kind where people think that the world will be improved if they're really sarcastic on the internet. Apparently, if you intimidate people by mocking them a lot then you win a prize or something. IDEFK.
Never mind that the kind of discourse they engage in is the kind designed to shut down anyone challenging the system and it's exactly the kind that empowers the privileged at the expense of oppressed groups.
I also hate that whenever someone links there, any site, blog, or forum any kind of useful, community-building discourse gets instantly derailed. Especially if it is a link involving something to do with race or gender politics.
Anecdata: At least one person I know has said that their comments on Metafilter get a lot more respect and less flak now that they use a male-sounding username and pic on that site.
So, yeah.
I'm also changing the comments so that non-friend comments have to be approved. I don't care about being fair, I just don't.
Oh and another thing (and so far, it hasn't been too much of a problem), I'm also going to change my policy on certain things. I found this great comm, fucking_meds over on Dreamwidth, and I'm going to adopt their policy of making it clear when I do and do not want advice, and what kind of advice I'm looking for.
Why?
Because while you guys/gals have been incredibly helpful and it's none of you that are the issue, I have had a couple of folks (and if you're worried that it's you, it's probably NOT, because everyone who is still on my f-list as of writing this has been nothing but supportive and wonderful) pop their heads in and give shitty, half-assed advice. Advice that seems not to take into account what is written in that VERY ENTRY.
When recommending things or advising someone on health/exercise/weight issues to someone, at least pay attention to what they say when they mention DIAGNOSED MEDICAL CONDITIONS. Why? Because popping your head in to say, "Oh, hey try [insert thing] that I do because it works so great for me and here's a link to this site over here" when you don't even mention whether that advice/site is appropriate for someone DEALING WITH A FUCKING MEDICAL CONDITION.
I am so glad doing that works for you and your health regimen. I really am. But unless you say to me, "I too have this condition and I'm at/near your weight and have had a doctor look over this advice" - please don't tell me that my problem has such a simple fix.
Also? About that site? It's a site that seems geared toward upwardly mobile (I noticed all the model/bodies on that site are white and thin and mostly female), able bodied people who have access to healthy foods and places to exercise to begin with.
Linking me to a site who's about section says: "Stop eating and acting like a fat person and start emulating the diet and habits of a fit person" as though it is remotely helpful is insulting and arrogant of you. And fatphobic.
I'm sorry, what part of my 1 hour a day exercise and 1200 calorie diet is "acting like a fat person"? Because that's my diet, those are my habits. And I am still a FAT FUCKING PERSON. For that matter, please tell me - HOW DOES A FAT PERSON ACT? How do you act fat? Is that like acting "black" or acting "old"?
Please, INFORM ME OF HOW I AM "ACTING LIKE A FAT PERSON". I didn't realize that fat was more than just a statement about one's body size. I didn't realize it came with it's own culture and behavior patterns and actions just by virtue of having a body of a certain size.
Maybe you meant well, and even if you couldn't/didn't read previous entries about my struggles with this - that entry? Made it damn clear that I have special medical considerations I have to keep in mind. Never mind that that same entry makes it damn clear that this is also a very mentally, emotionally difficult thing for me.
I have to very preciously guard my mental health and safe spaces when it comes to these issues. Which means that I am not going to scruple at being rude to people who offer me only the minimum of respect under the guise of concern-trolling and can't be arsed to read the entire entry or even scroll back a couple of entries to get the whole story. The "previous entry" button is so conveniently located, dude. No excuse. I would have done the same for you.
On the good news side of things, it's beautiful and warmed up and spring-like and I can open the windows and let sunshine in. And my sinuses are acting less heinous than usual. Wheeee!