okay

[thousandeyes]

yeah. i feel crazy. ive been feeling crazy for the past three weeks, but usually when i feel crazy, i make very satisfying artwork. and for the past few days, ive been making amazing drawing.
ive got a lot of thoughts floating around in my head,that need to come out. what troubles me the most is that i dont really know who i can talk to anymore. i used to have a handful of people that i felt comfortable talking about my problems with. i feel like im annoying to talk about problems. people dont want to hang out with someone whos sad. i feel embarassed about it... i really do wish i had someone to talk to. but i dont know hwo to go about talking to anyone. i feel like im boring. im afraid of being rejected, but i wish i had someone to be close to at the same time. i want someone to be close to me, but at the same time im so afraid of being hurt that it makes me not even want to bother. i feel liek a lot of people think im cold, and that i dont show affection. showing affection makes me vunerable. and then i get hurt. im weak. i need to be alone. i need to be alone with someone.
i really dont know. im redundant. if i read this in a week ill probably be disgusted by this.