The Bible is TOO LIBERAL!
Apparently it's not only reality that has a well-known liberal bias- apparently that God guy is a bleeding-heart commie as well. The True Christians™ at Conservapedia have taken it upon themselves to rewrite the Bible to better conform to conservative ideals.
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
Among their complaints with the Bible are its use of the word "comrade" (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP), rewriting the parables of Jesus to show the importance of absolute laissez-faire capitalism (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP), and removing that nasty emphasis on "peace" (okay, I admit, I made that part up OH WAIT NO I DIDN'T).
This is actually kind of interesting for two reasons:
First, fundamentalist* Christians are often big advocates of Authorized-King-James-Version-Only. They claim other versions of the Bible are corrupted by Satan, or at least Mammon; any new attempt to translate the Bible is a sin. (Can't read English? Too bad. Learn English or burn in Hell. If Elizabethan English is good enough for YHWH speaking to Moses, it's good enough for me!)
Second, fundamentalists have long ignored the parts of the Bible they don't like, but this is the first time I've seen them advocate actually redacting the Bible to remove the stuff that doesn't line up with their beliefs.** For example, Chick tracts almost always include "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels," but always seem to forget God is not telling these people to GTFO for sexual immorality, wearing mixed fibers, or simply failing to kiss His ass; He clearly and distinctly tells them He's angry because they failed to care for the poor, the hungry, and the disenfranchised. True Christians™ can't stand hearing that, I guess, and if God can't keep His big divine mouth shut, why, they'll just cut off his mic.
* I dispute the "fundamentals" of Christianity are anything like what fundamentalists think they are, but that's an argument for another day.
**Actually, you could argue the Hampton Court Conference and later events leading to the KJV were exactly this.
(Also posted at RPG.net, because I'm arrogant and I think what I say is worth hearing.)
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
Among their complaints with the Bible are its use of the word "comrade" (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP), rewriting the parables of Jesus to show the importance of absolute laissez-faire capitalism (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP), and removing that nasty emphasis on "peace" (okay, I admit, I made that part up OH WAIT NO I DIDN'T).
This is actually kind of interesting for two reasons:
First, fundamentalist* Christians are often big advocates of Authorized-King-James-Version-Only. They claim other versions of the Bible are corrupted by Satan, or at least Mammon; any new attempt to translate the Bible is a sin. (Can't read English? Too bad. Learn English or burn in Hell. If Elizabethan English is good enough for YHWH speaking to Moses, it's good enough for me!)
Second, fundamentalists have long ignored the parts of the Bible they don't like, but this is the first time I've seen them advocate actually redacting the Bible to remove the stuff that doesn't line up with their beliefs.** For example, Chick tracts almost always include "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels," but always seem to forget God is not telling these people to GTFO for sexual immorality, wearing mixed fibers, or simply failing to kiss His ass; He clearly and distinctly tells them He's angry because they failed to care for the poor, the hungry, and the disenfranchised. True Christians™ can't stand hearing that, I guess, and if God can't keep His big divine mouth shut, why, they'll just cut off his mic.
* I dispute the "fundamentals" of Christianity are anything like what fundamentalists think they are, but that's an argument for another day.
**Actually, you could argue the Hampton Court Conference and later events leading to the KJV were exactly this.
(Also posted at RPG.net, because I'm arrogant and I think what I say is worth hearing.)