(no subject)
i don't know how to feel anymore.
this past week was just horrible. nothing went right.
mom. oscar. making nicole mad which i didnt mean to do at all. thats one of the last things i want to do. i was just doing what my father told me to because i didnt know any better. hell, if she asks me to i wont ever turn the air on to begin with. i cant pay the bills and even with the little i would be able to contribute, i still dont want them to be high for her. i'm going to make sure i 'conserve' energy i guess. for instance, my computer, if im not using it, itll be off. i just want to make this as easy as possible for both of us thats all.
the family situation and oscar is just gone to shit. once again i feel like i cant do anything right and nothing ever goes right for me, even when i constantly do things for other people.
on top of all of this i got my period last night which hasnt made things any easy because ive had pms the whole past week and i garuntee it blew things way out of proportion in my head and made things worse than they had to be.
i just want it to be next week already. i want to be in manhatten. i want to be able to afford all my bills and the part i help my mom out with. i want mike to be happy. i want to be making enough money to eat. finally, i really just want to go to school in the fall.
this past week was just horrible. nothing went right.
mom. oscar. making nicole mad which i didnt mean to do at all. thats one of the last things i want to do. i was just doing what my father told me to because i didnt know any better. hell, if she asks me to i wont ever turn the air on to begin with. i cant pay the bills and even with the little i would be able to contribute, i still dont want them to be high for her. i'm going to make sure i 'conserve' energy i guess. for instance, my computer, if im not using it, itll be off. i just want to make this as easy as possible for both of us thats all.
the family situation and oscar is just gone to shit. once again i feel like i cant do anything right and nothing ever goes right for me, even when i constantly do things for other people.
on top of all of this i got my period last night which hasnt made things any easy because ive had pms the whole past week and i garuntee it blew things way out of proportion in my head and made things worse than they had to be.
i just want it to be next week already. i want to be in manhatten. i want to be able to afford all my bills and the part i help my mom out with. i want mike to be happy. i want to be making enough money to eat. finally, i really just want to go to school in the fall.