Never a quiet moment, eh?
Working out is healthy for me in the long run, but I'm not accustomed to being this tired all the time. Last week, I averaged about 30 hours at work, seeing as how I did a full day on Monday and have only taken lunch twice. And now that I'm lifting again, my muscles shake and tingle when I stretch. It feels very good. But like I said, I'm not accustomed to being this tired all the time. Exhausted by 11pm. I'm like an old man again. That is the way of my life right now, I guess. In bed by midnight, up by 7:30am. Sleeping regularly, eating correctly, and working out at the right times with the right mind-set and energy will pay off for me. My bench press has already come up 10 pounds in a little over a week. Sets of five, with long breaks in between and proper concentration works best for me. Oh, and my shoulders have started to round out again as well.
Work is progressing as best it can. I've gotten a handle for most of the things that the other testers have a handle for. They're going to continue to get the Single Donor Registration baseline release running while I push forward and investigate things like VU scripts and test case scenarios implemented through TestManager suites. Believe it or not, all that thick jibberish makes sense to me.
I wasted a lot of time on Saturday just sitting around letting my brain lay dormant. Sunday I woke up around 9am and went on Newegg.com and proceeded to pick out the components for a dream-team PC. It would cost $1400, minimum. Just another pipe-dream. Not like I can flex my finances too significantly right now. Waiting patiently for payday. Still doing the math on my potentiality. That will determine my next move. Right before Xmas, my very nice VCR that is just six months out of the range of the three year extended warranty decided to die on me. I took it to a repair shop where they were quite honest in telling me that it would most likely cost me perhaps $100 in parts and anywhere from $30 to $80 in labor. The prognosis is that I'm better off buying another VCR. Yay. That fits in so nicely with the fact that my cable is gone. The cable has been active in my apartment since the day I moved in almost three years ago. Then I get TiVo, and have to dial in to Cox Cable to request guide information about program times and channels, etc. I strongly suspect that TiVo had an exchange of info with Cox cable, who in turn cross-referenced my address to see if anyone is paying for that cable. It's been off for a week now.
I looked into it, and it would cost $40 before taxes and the other surcharges that I'd be looking at. There's also the possibility that they may try to hold me responsible for the last two years, eventhough it was there mistake for not shutting it off when the last person who lived here moved out. The prospect of paying for television sparked the prospect of getting highspeed internet as well. That would be another $40 before taxes, surcharges, and equipment costs. So, what I have been considering is doing away with my phone line, which costs me $35 after taxes and surcharges and which I pretty-much only use for internet access, and going with a highspeed cable connection. My options are either to stick with the $35 phone line and no TV, or perhaps shell out $80 a month (before taxes and surcharges) for highspeed and access to the three or four channels I watch: SciFi, Spike, and Cartoon Network.
Watching movies is something I think I can stand for the next six months. I really don't need cable. I'm pretty busy as-is. I'll miss the cartoons, Star Trek, MacGyver, and Stargate. Oh, and not to mention Queer Eye as well. But I can put off television for a while until I've gotten myself on a more stable footing.
Stable footing is gonna take some doing. Dad has been approved by the Whitehouse, so as of Feb. 1st, he is officially Brigadier General Micheal Andrew Snodgrass. Which means I have to jet up to Alaska on the 3rd for his pin-on that Friday night. This is going to be hard to bring up with my boss tomorrow, but I didn't have much advance notice. I didn't have any, actually. I got a voicemail from my mother earlier tonight telling me what I have to do. Her indifference about how this is going to impact my job, my graduate school applications, and my responsibilities to both PhilSoc and Campus NOW really pisses me off. I got the expected "Well I'm sorry" from her on the phone, dripping with disdain and insincerity. Of course I'm going to the pin-on. Of course I want to be there. This is one of the biggest moments in my Dad's life. I wouldn't dare miss it. But her absolute-zero attitude towards the strain this is going to put on me boils my blood. Everything is a contest with my mother, even misery. If she's wallowing around in the hardship of having to take Dad's uniforms to the tailor to get stars sewn on, (which to her, of course, equates to climbing up on a cross and nailing herself to it) she won't attempt to think of anyone outside of herself. I found her inability to understand my reluctance to shirk my responsibilities enfuriating to say the least. But if that wasn't enough, she dared to bring up the subject of cutting my hair yet again but this time under the false pretense that "it would mean a lot to your Dad". I'm afraid I'm not stupid, Mother. I know that you couldn't care less about how my hair makes Dad feel and that this is only a cheap and callous attempt to get your way. If I didn't know how much this means to Dad, I'd come to the ceremony with bright red hair and a pierced nose just to spite you, Mother-dearest. If my turning my life inside out and jeopardizing the job that I just barely got in the first place isn't enough, then you can kiss my ass.
I hate feeling so run down like this. I'm having a hard time finding the energy to cope with crap like this. I can only look towards the future and hope that it gets a little better sometime soon. I need to get all this grad school crap sorted out and burried. I will go to Dad's pin-on and endure my mother's vindiction. Where I go from there, I do not know. I sure do hope I get into a good school. I suuuuuure do hope so. I've got the list of schools, in order of preference:
University of Georgia
University of Pittsburgh
University of New South Wales
University of Edinburgh
Georgia Tech
University College London
University of Colorado
University of Deleware (?)
George Mason University
I've missed application deadlines for half a dozen great schools because of the tardiness of my third letter of recommendation. I really hope that I don't end up paying for the total lack of concern for my future by one guy. It's quite shitty to close doors on someone's face because you can't organize your thoughts for half an hour to compose a single letter of recommendation. I made every effort to make it painless by not asking for multiple copies of the letters to be sent to multiple locations in various letters, along with the various optional recommendation forms, etc etc etc. Perhaps it represented so little effort, it was hard to get around to doing, like patching up the little holes made by picture nails. Grr...
I hate feeling like this. Like there is no sunshine and that I'll never feel cheerful again. It's just a funk I'm stuck in. Not sure what the remedy is. All I'm certain of is that I could use some relief. If I had my way, I would have gotten all of this graduate school crap dealt with by the end of December, but so many different things had to be accomodated by yours-truly. It seems that big worries aren't enough. I've got little things like no more cable, a busted VCR, and a depleted bank account nipping at my ankles as well. It is bedtime. I have to be up in seven hours.
Work is progressing as best it can. I've gotten a handle for most of the things that the other testers have a handle for. They're going to continue to get the Single Donor Registration baseline release running while I push forward and investigate things like VU scripts and test case scenarios implemented through TestManager suites. Believe it or not, all that thick jibberish makes sense to me.
I wasted a lot of time on Saturday just sitting around letting my brain lay dormant. Sunday I woke up around 9am and went on Newegg.com and proceeded to pick out the components for a dream-team PC. It would cost $1400, minimum. Just another pipe-dream. Not like I can flex my finances too significantly right now. Waiting patiently for payday. Still doing the math on my potentiality. That will determine my next move. Right before Xmas, my very nice VCR that is just six months out of the range of the three year extended warranty decided to die on me. I took it to a repair shop where they were quite honest in telling me that it would most likely cost me perhaps $100 in parts and anywhere from $30 to $80 in labor. The prognosis is that I'm better off buying another VCR. Yay. That fits in so nicely with the fact that my cable is gone. The cable has been active in my apartment since the day I moved in almost three years ago. Then I get TiVo, and have to dial in to Cox Cable to request guide information about program times and channels, etc. I strongly suspect that TiVo had an exchange of info with Cox cable, who in turn cross-referenced my address to see if anyone is paying for that cable. It's been off for a week now.
I looked into it, and it would cost $40 before taxes and the other surcharges that I'd be looking at. There's also the possibility that they may try to hold me responsible for the last two years, eventhough it was there mistake for not shutting it off when the last person who lived here moved out. The prospect of paying for television sparked the prospect of getting highspeed internet as well. That would be another $40 before taxes, surcharges, and equipment costs. So, what I have been considering is doing away with my phone line, which costs me $35 after taxes and surcharges and which I pretty-much only use for internet access, and going with a highspeed cable connection. My options are either to stick with the $35 phone line and no TV, or perhaps shell out $80 a month (before taxes and surcharges) for highspeed and access to the three or four channels I watch: SciFi, Spike, and Cartoon Network.
Watching movies is something I think I can stand for the next six months. I really don't need cable. I'm pretty busy as-is. I'll miss the cartoons, Star Trek, MacGyver, and Stargate. Oh, and not to mention Queer Eye as well. But I can put off television for a while until I've gotten myself on a more stable footing.
Stable footing is gonna take some doing. Dad has been approved by the Whitehouse, so as of Feb. 1st, he is officially Brigadier General Micheal Andrew Snodgrass. Which means I have to jet up to Alaska on the 3rd for his pin-on that Friday night. This is going to be hard to bring up with my boss tomorrow, but I didn't have much advance notice. I didn't have any, actually. I got a voicemail from my mother earlier tonight telling me what I have to do. Her indifference about how this is going to impact my job, my graduate school applications, and my responsibilities to both PhilSoc and Campus NOW really pisses me off. I got the expected "Well I'm sorry" from her on the phone, dripping with disdain and insincerity. Of course I'm going to the pin-on. Of course I want to be there. This is one of the biggest moments in my Dad's life. I wouldn't dare miss it. But her absolute-zero attitude towards the strain this is going to put on me boils my blood. Everything is a contest with my mother, even misery. If she's wallowing around in the hardship of having to take Dad's uniforms to the tailor to get stars sewn on, (which to her, of course, equates to climbing up on a cross and nailing herself to it) she won't attempt to think of anyone outside of herself. I found her inability to understand my reluctance to shirk my responsibilities enfuriating to say the least. But if that wasn't enough, she dared to bring up the subject of cutting my hair yet again but this time under the false pretense that "it would mean a lot to your Dad". I'm afraid I'm not stupid, Mother. I know that you couldn't care less about how my hair makes Dad feel and that this is only a cheap and callous attempt to get your way. If I didn't know how much this means to Dad, I'd come to the ceremony with bright red hair and a pierced nose just to spite you, Mother-dearest. If my turning my life inside out and jeopardizing the job that I just barely got in the first place isn't enough, then you can kiss my ass.
I hate feeling so run down like this. I'm having a hard time finding the energy to cope with crap like this. I can only look towards the future and hope that it gets a little better sometime soon. I need to get all this grad school crap sorted out and burried. I will go to Dad's pin-on and endure my mother's vindiction. Where I go from there, I do not know. I sure do hope I get into a good school. I suuuuuure do hope so. I've got the list of schools, in order of preference:
University of Georgia
University of Pittsburgh
University of New South Wales
University of Edinburgh
Georgia Tech
University College London
University of Colorado
University of Deleware (?)
George Mason University
I've missed application deadlines for half a dozen great schools because of the tardiness of my third letter of recommendation. I really hope that I don't end up paying for the total lack of concern for my future by one guy. It's quite shitty to close doors on someone's face because you can't organize your thoughts for half an hour to compose a single letter of recommendation. I made every effort to make it painless by not asking for multiple copies of the letters to be sent to multiple locations in various letters, along with the various optional recommendation forms, etc etc etc. Perhaps it represented so little effort, it was hard to get around to doing, like patching up the little holes made by picture nails. Grr...
I hate feeling like this. Like there is no sunshine and that I'll never feel cheerful again. It's just a funk I'm stuck in. Not sure what the remedy is. All I'm certain of is that I could use some relief. If I had my way, I would have gotten all of this graduate school crap dealt with by the end of December, but so many different things had to be accomodated by yours-truly. It seems that big worries aren't enough. I've got little things like no more cable, a busted VCR, and a depleted bank account nipping at my ankles as well. It is bedtime. I have to be up in seven hours.