Paragraph input?
I've gotten a spurt with the second chapter of "One Does Experiment" and I'm up to this paragraph, and I'm unsure whether during revision it should be cut down at all or not. As of now it reads:
While Takara stared open-mouthed at the two and appeared to be trying to figure out that same question, Kaito focused specifically on Shuichi, and what Shuichi was wearing. His apparel wasn't usually dressy, but today was still more relaxed than usual. Relaxed in this sense actually meaning "hurried," which when he gave it a bit more thought didn't on the surface make much sense. "Casual" would be an appropriate synonym, but not appropriate for his intent... Well then, put simply, his classmate appeared thrown-together, not like his usual self at all.
--
If the paragraph seems confusing content-wise, don't worry, later I'll reward the F-list with a nice teaser so that one might understand who is Takara and what that question is ("the two" here are Kurama and Kuwabara, though).
All printers on campus were until apparently very recently not working, so I did not get my Ethics summary printed out, but he (the professor) had the very same problem, so we're to slide it under the door as soon as possible. Which means that when I get the chance I'll probably backtrack to one of the four or five different printers I tried and see if I can find one of the previously paid for copies to give him.
Now, I'll ... maybe look at what I'm supposed to be doing for Creative Writing tomorrow.
While Takara stared open-mouthed at the two and appeared to be trying to figure out that same question, Kaito focused specifically on Shuichi, and what Shuichi was wearing. His apparel wasn't usually dressy, but today was still more relaxed than usual. Relaxed in this sense actually meaning "hurried," which when he gave it a bit more thought didn't on the surface make much sense. "Casual" would be an appropriate synonym, but not appropriate for his intent... Well then, put simply, his classmate appeared thrown-together, not like his usual self at all.
--
If the paragraph seems confusing content-wise, don't worry, later I'll reward the F-list with a nice teaser so that one might understand who is Takara and what that question is ("the two" here are Kurama and Kuwabara, though).
All printers on campus were until apparently very recently not working, so I did not get my Ethics summary printed out, but he (the professor) had the very same problem, so we're to slide it under the door as soon as possible. Which means that when I get the chance I'll probably backtrack to one of the four or five different printers I tried and see if I can find one of the previously paid for copies to give him.
Now, I'll ... maybe look at what I'm supposed to be doing for Creative Writing tomorrow.