i was pink once...
I figured I should write in the ol' livejournal, since it's been awhile. I moved out of Lakeland again. It's weird. It's different. I had to get away from Mitch. I couldn't be in the same city as him, for fear that I'd let things keep going back to the way that they were for so long. I've had so many revelations and I've done a lot of growing. I'm so glad that I don't work at Mimi's Cafe anymore. That was a horrible place to work at... by far, the worst place I've ever worked at. I worked at SoftRock for a very short period of time. I'd never done call center / data entry type stuff before. It wasn't really for me, so it would seem. I go crazy sitting in one spot all day, and then to have to sell education to people..... like I said, it wasn't really for me. I've been looking around at things in Orlando. I've been wary of just getting another serving job, however, I might do that part time until I can find something more creative, just to get some extra cash flow. I feel bad not being able to pay for anything in my living situation. It's weird. I'm not used to it. I just got out of a situation where I was expected to give up every bit of money I made to put towards Mitch's "Cause." I don't want to get into the negative aspects of the situation that I had with him, so I suppose I'll leave it at that. This journal has been mucked up with his name since 2002. Enough is enough, now.
I've been having more and more apocalyptic dreams. I really feel like the more I meditate, and the more I put myself in situations where I'm not being repressed, and where I can fully be myself all the time, the more I become completely in tune with the world, and that's when things start happening. The dreams occur more frequently, the OBE happen more, as well as knowing what people are going to say or do before they say/do it. I've also been doing a lot of past life regression meditations that I feel have been pretty beneficial. My favorite are the chakra meditations.
When I find a job, I feel as though it would be way better to find a job that fits the same "vibe" as what I do in my free time. Something a bit more "zen" than running around in a restaurant. There's been a few places I've seen on craigslist for people just to work in a spa as a secretary, and other things of that nature. That sounds like it could be pretty mellow. Here's to hoping. lol
And my, it's quite windy outside.
I don't know what else to write. I thought about doing some New Years thing on here. Sometimes I do. But, no reason to, I guess. I think my new years resolution is to be less catty, more zen, and to do more art than just music. I've taken up painting. And I started drawing again. I need to do these things more, but I haven't had much time to myself the past week and a half. Tomorrow, it will be different. And hopefully I'll get back on a somewhat more normal sleep schedule. But yeah, I guess those things should get pushed to the forefront of life. And getting more in tune with nature again. That's definitely on the list. Last year, my life was a whirlwind of interestingness, but most of it was spent in a pretty dark place, besides the books that Tim encouraged me to buy, and doing more meditation. This year, I have higher hopes. Last year was a year of rebuilding and rediscovering myself again, I think.... and also a year of letting go. Some things definitely need to be in the past and stay in the past. I have to let go of the person I used to be and the people that are no longer meant to be in my life. I need to focus on the future more, but not in a longing "one day, I'll do this" but in a "Today, I'm going to do this, because this is the universe's best possible future that I am going to help create" sort of way.
I didn't get drunk or get fucked up on drugs for New Years, and I didn't go to any parties. I didn't kiss my six closest friends or meet anyone new that I may or may not ever talk to again. I didn't wonder who I'd kiss at midnight. No, I am 27 now. Perhaps that is why I, instead, chose to stay at home, make paper cranes out of psychedelic origami paper, and meditate.
"It's The Good Life." Tony Bennett... rainbowcollies4evrs (only two people will get that and who knows if they'll read this...... oh well......lol)
I've been having more and more apocalyptic dreams. I really feel like the more I meditate, and the more I put myself in situations where I'm not being repressed, and where I can fully be myself all the time, the more I become completely in tune with the world, and that's when things start happening. The dreams occur more frequently, the OBE happen more, as well as knowing what people are going to say or do before they say/do it. I've also been doing a lot of past life regression meditations that I feel have been pretty beneficial. My favorite are the chakra meditations.
When I find a job, I feel as though it would be way better to find a job that fits the same "vibe" as what I do in my free time. Something a bit more "zen" than running around in a restaurant. There's been a few places I've seen on craigslist for people just to work in a spa as a secretary, and other things of that nature. That sounds like it could be pretty mellow. Here's to hoping. lol
And my, it's quite windy outside.
I don't know what else to write. I thought about doing some New Years thing on here. Sometimes I do. But, no reason to, I guess. I think my new years resolution is to be less catty, more zen, and to do more art than just music. I've taken up painting. And I started drawing again. I need to do these things more, but I haven't had much time to myself the past week and a half. Tomorrow, it will be different. And hopefully I'll get back on a somewhat more normal sleep schedule. But yeah, I guess those things should get pushed to the forefront of life. And getting more in tune with nature again. That's definitely on the list. Last year, my life was a whirlwind of interestingness, but most of it was spent in a pretty dark place, besides the books that Tim encouraged me to buy, and doing more meditation. This year, I have higher hopes. Last year was a year of rebuilding and rediscovering myself again, I think.... and also a year of letting go. Some things definitely need to be in the past and stay in the past. I have to let go of the person I used to be and the people that are no longer meant to be in my life. I need to focus on the future more, but not in a longing "one day, I'll do this" but in a "Today, I'm going to do this, because this is the universe's best possible future that I am going to help create" sort of way.
I didn't get drunk or get fucked up on drugs for New Years, and I didn't go to any parties. I didn't kiss my six closest friends or meet anyone new that I may or may not ever talk to again. I didn't wonder who I'd kiss at midnight. No, I am 27 now. Perhaps that is why I, instead, chose to stay at home, make paper cranes out of psychedelic origami paper, and meditate.
"It's The Good Life." Tony Bennett... rainbowcollies4evrs (only two people will get that and who knows if they'll read this...... oh well......lol)