the end has no end?

[thoseradstars]

So, I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately. I've also been spending a lot of time telling other people to basically get a life, because Mitch and I have been living together... there's nice positive things that have gotten accomplished since I've been here, like some recordings and some writings (although not nearly as many as there should have been, considering that he has a studio and we're surrounded by musical stuff all the time.) But there's also all of the negative stuff..... like the fact that we argue far too frequently, we make each other angry far too often, and we handle it horribly. Our communication is completely whack, and if I'm going to give my time/effort/devotion to someone like this, I would at least like someone who will kiss me, and who will cuddle me more frequently, someone who will call me their girlfriend. He used to kiss me, and that ended pretty frequently - and I mean, the cuddles are still sometimes there... .but not in the same way. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too, not to over use an over used expression... he wants someone that he can have sex with every now and then, someone who will devote themselves to him, someone who will agree with him all of the time, someone who will give him massages, but who will not expect kisses, cuddles, or a boyfriend. The point is, all of this has been driving me nuts. And he's been wanting me to move to the other side of the United States with him, and said something a few months back about how "down the road" there could be marriage. I just don't see the point in moving clear across the continent with someone who has no interest in having the type of relationship that I prefer to have with someone. We're just wasting each other's time.

I need to just move out. I told him this. I am off all week during this week... plenty of time for moving. I just don't know what else to do.

On a positive note, John Celoria wanted me to get on Skype earlier so he could share a thought with me... and his thought was that we should start a cover band, even though he lives in Colorado. But we can record stuff separately and send it to each other. He jokingly said we should call ourselves 2000 Miles Away. I actually thought it was a good idea. lol Now we just have to come up with songs that we should cover, and figure out who should do what part. I have a couple ideas that I'll probably send him in a little while...

I've also written some stuff lately that I actually kind of like. I guess I am not suffering from my writer's block anymore.