The Nonsense of the Iron Man and a Delay Forestalled
Well reader, the weekend was definately interesting, but I'm going to wait for pictures and such before I post about my adventures so I apologize for this inconvienence. But I do promise the actual post on my adventures will be spectacular and super kool when I do write it! ;) Anyways...so I was musing about stuff the other night and came to a few problems as usual. But eh, none of you want to hear about my pedantic and pretenious philosophical rants that are ultimately unimportant really anyways, now do you reader? And no, that was not sarcastic in the slightest...I promise! ;) But these following jokes and jests are highly ironic (because they are about iron!....duh! ;) ) Hehe, I kid, I kid because I'm just a silly, carefree fool anyways, right? Enough! The joker must go to work to entertain you now reader, enjoy! Careful though, it's long and full of your daily recommended value of iron!
So this nonsense story is definately ironic....so it is about iron of course! Specifically, iron, ninja monkeys that attacked me the other day. All I can say is that if you ever have the misfortune of losing your natural teeth, "Brush thrice a day!" says Bucktooth the toothbrush beaver!, well, definately look into some metal molars because those things hurt like a mofo. So after I had gone with the ballerina fish to have an audience with their wonderful Tutu Queen, which was followed by great refreshments afterwards, odlly enough there was no caviar in this very high cultured event ;), there was a sudden explosion in the main underwater dome and the sea monkeys were the culprits of course. Although somehow these invaders were entirely metal somehow, apparently they had captured a gremlin scientist and forced him to develop evil robot ninja monkeys for their nefarious ends. Curse you, you evil monkeys! Realizing that I was completely outnumbered, I knew that the only logical thing to do was to eat cheese. So I sat down and ate cheese until I thought of a better plan to beat these evil monkeys. Suprisingly enough, it worked as the monkeys were flaberrgasted that someone would actualy eat cheese and...gasp, enjoy it! Sensing this weakness immediately, I grapped the cheese keg, hurled it into the middle of their legion, and then blasted it with my gun and covered the entire metal monkey army and deactivated them from cheese overload. Then, I reprogrammed all the robots to be happy monkeys and live in symbiotic harmony with the ballerina fish and we all danced happily until the real, and evil, sea monkeys came to crash our party after they lost the signal from their invading robot army and went to go see what was the matter. Things were looking bad then...but luckily I remembered my amnesia candy! How, you ask? Hmm, good point, I don't really know how I did now that you mention it, what with it being amnesia candy and all and kinda inherently hard to remember...but, um, anyways, I quickly gave some amnesia candy to all the evil monkeys and they all forgot their immense hatred of everything, especially that darn invasive Realplayer program which I can see where they're coming from with that but I'm getting off track so, then they all were happy and danced in celebration. You know what, mmm, this um, mmmm, amnesia andy, mmmm, is mmmmm, so good, mmm, munch munch munch...that I um, mmmm, um.....us, er, um, I? Oh, um, oh...What was I talking about again? Hmm...well, I guess it wasn't important so I'll just seamlessly shift into another random episode with even less meaning than that last one. How do I do that you ask? Well reader, ZOMG! LOOK OVER THERE AT THAT GIANT UNICORN PINATA FULL OF AMNESIA CANDY! *hurridly changes the meaningless words, aka all of them, in this story to trick the reader into thinking that it all makes sense somehow while the reader is distracted looking at the shiny unicorn pinata* Oh, hi reader! Um, are you back already? So how was that pinata? Crazy isn't it? You ate a looooooooot of that amnes-er um, good candy that it dropped right? Yes? Ah very good! *reader loses memory due to amnesia candy* What's that you ask? Who are you? Where are you? Who am I? Well, that's simple, you're obviously a pretty, little pony and to explain how you got here let me tell you a story...
*Tells excessively long and meaningless story about weasels and donuts that is vaguely reminiscient of Joyce's "Finnegan's Wake"*
....so, you know after the meat intaking and after that failed waiting for the grand muppet king in the royal Snellonian ante room on account of the royal artist's rush to get to mathmatics class so she could teach evolution theory, I went on the up-down rocket bus with the girl with the shiniest elbows ever, I mean, they were scintillating 100% iron elbows baby! So she was asking me about some serious stuff, you know my KGB ties and other such closet skeletons, and me, being the goofball that I am, well, I wasn't able to really discuss it because it was 1. a public rocket bus and 2. something that was rather complex and not able to be condensed into a five second nutshell, so I hope she didn't take that the wrong way and assume I was putting up walls and not revealing everything b/c it wasn't really the right time or place and besides, I assured her we could talk about it the next day at lunch. So, with all that being said, that explains how you, the reader, are here now listening to my story and actually a pretty, little pony even though the aliens implanted potatoes in your brain to make you think you're a human who think's he's a fish who think's he's a human. And oh yes, if you were wondering about the weasel's fate, yes, they did make all the hamburgers and Santa Claus married the Easter Bunny and they ate the cow that jumped over the moon with the dishes that ran away with the fork and the spoon. So everything makes complete 100% sense now, right reader? Good, good, glad to be of help. ;)
Pax vobiscum,
carmine
So this nonsense story is definately ironic....so it is about iron of course! Specifically, iron, ninja monkeys that attacked me the other day. All I can say is that if you ever have the misfortune of losing your natural teeth, "Brush thrice a day!" says Bucktooth the toothbrush beaver!, well, definately look into some metal molars because those things hurt like a mofo. So after I had gone with the ballerina fish to have an audience with their wonderful Tutu Queen, which was followed by great refreshments afterwards, odlly enough there was no caviar in this very high cultured event ;), there was a sudden explosion in the main underwater dome and the sea monkeys were the culprits of course. Although somehow these invaders were entirely metal somehow, apparently they had captured a gremlin scientist and forced him to develop evil robot ninja monkeys for their nefarious ends. Curse you, you evil monkeys! Realizing that I was completely outnumbered, I knew that the only logical thing to do was to eat cheese. So I sat down and ate cheese until I thought of a better plan to beat these evil monkeys. Suprisingly enough, it worked as the monkeys were flaberrgasted that someone would actualy eat cheese and...gasp, enjoy it! Sensing this weakness immediately, I grapped the cheese keg, hurled it into the middle of their legion, and then blasted it with my gun and covered the entire metal monkey army and deactivated them from cheese overload. Then, I reprogrammed all the robots to be happy monkeys and live in symbiotic harmony with the ballerina fish and we all danced happily until the real, and evil, sea monkeys came to crash our party after they lost the signal from their invading robot army and went to go see what was the matter. Things were looking bad then...but luckily I remembered my amnesia candy! How, you ask? Hmm, good point, I don't really know how I did now that you mention it, what with it being amnesia candy and all and kinda inherently hard to remember...but, um, anyways, I quickly gave some amnesia candy to all the evil monkeys and they all forgot their immense hatred of everything, especially that darn invasive Realplayer program which I can see where they're coming from with that but I'm getting off track so, then they all were happy and danced in celebration. You know what, mmm, this um, mmmm, amnesia andy, mmmm, is mmmmm, so good, mmm, munch munch munch...that I um, mmmm, um.....us, er, um, I? Oh, um, oh...What was I talking about again? Hmm...well, I guess it wasn't important so I'll just seamlessly shift into another random episode with even less meaning than that last one. How do I do that you ask? Well reader, ZOMG! LOOK OVER THERE AT THAT GIANT UNICORN PINATA FULL OF AMNESIA CANDY! *hurridly changes the meaningless words, aka all of them, in this story to trick the reader into thinking that it all makes sense somehow while the reader is distracted looking at the shiny unicorn pinata* Oh, hi reader! Um, are you back already? So how was that pinata? Crazy isn't it? You ate a looooooooot of that amnes-er um, good candy that it dropped right? Yes? Ah very good! *reader loses memory due to amnesia candy* What's that you ask? Who are you? Where are you? Who am I? Well, that's simple, you're obviously a pretty, little pony and to explain how you got here let me tell you a story...
*Tells excessively long and meaningless story about weasels and donuts that is vaguely reminiscient of Joyce's "Finnegan's Wake"*
....so, you know after the meat intaking and after that failed waiting for the grand muppet king in the royal Snellonian ante room on account of the royal artist's rush to get to mathmatics class so she could teach evolution theory, I went on the up-down rocket bus with the girl with the shiniest elbows ever, I mean, they were scintillating 100% iron elbows baby! So she was asking me about some serious stuff, you know my KGB ties and other such closet skeletons, and me, being the goofball that I am, well, I wasn't able to really discuss it because it was 1. a public rocket bus and 2. something that was rather complex and not able to be condensed into a five second nutshell, so I hope she didn't take that the wrong way and assume I was putting up walls and not revealing everything b/c it wasn't really the right time or place and besides, I assured her we could talk about it the next day at lunch. So, with all that being said, that explains how you, the reader, are here now listening to my story and actually a pretty, little pony even though the aliens implanted potatoes in your brain to make you think you're a human who think's he's a fish who think's he's a human. And oh yes, if you were wondering about the weasel's fate, yes, they did make all the hamburgers and Santa Claus married the Easter Bunny and they ate the cow that jumped over the moon with the dishes that ran away with the fork and the spoon. So everything makes complete 100% sense now, right reader? Good, good, glad to be of help. ;)
Pax vobiscum,
carmine