Remembering danbearnyc
F I N I S H I N G T H E T U T T I - F R U T T I H A T
Last Saturday a couple dozen of Dan’s friends, family, and coworkers gathered to share our memories and say goodbye. I wanted to bring something, and thought one of those Edible Arrangements would be a good idea - until I saw that the larger ones can run $200. OK then, I could make one of my own, which upon more thought seemed perfectly appropriate, as I could make one in the shape of Carmen Miranda’s fruit-covered hat, since Dan loved all things Carmen and Busby Berkeley among everything else camp, kitsch, and just plain over-the-topness. So I got a Styrofoam hat at a costume supply store, all kinds of toothpicks and skewers, and about $20 of bananas, mangos, papayas, strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, green, red, and purple grapes, and a tangerine and a lime.
It came out pretty well. I was hoping some of us at the memorial gathering would try it on and pose for photographs, but it weighed too much and was quite unwieldy! (Carmen’s hat clearly must have been made of fake fruit.) Fortunately, the fruit salad hat was pretty much devoured by everyone at the memorial.
Kerry/rogueboi and Michael/dragbear did much of the organization and work and made this event happen. Thank you. Michael gave us a rare appearance by Witti Repartee, all pink and sequins and giant emeralds. Jerry/wescobear came up from Philadelphia, BJ/caestus and his cub Philip traveled from Montreal, and Dan’s good friend Roddy came all the way from Texas. Dan’s sister and his beloved niece (for whom Dan very much was Uncle Mame to, exposing her to all sorts of adventures and culture in NYC) were there. Dan's close friend Rick and Christopher/theoctothorpe and Cliff/jazzbearny and Katherine/deafdyke and the A-bears Greg and Ernie formerly known here as mondragon and faghatesgods were there. (Forgive me if I’ve forgotten your LJ handle and left you out, I’m still a little verklempt.)
Kerry shared a remembrance that was both touching and funny, I hope he posts it here at Live Journal.
Other people from all over also contributed their talents for the afternoon. Bill/bitterlawngnome in Toronto designed a beautiful program that was distributed, which had been edited by Matt/badfaggot up in Boston. You can see and read the entire program here where Bill posted it.
And Marie/mhgagnon, out in Seattle, sent out two lovely oil portraits she had painted from photos of Dan, and his good friends Katherine and Roddy were moved and overwhelmed at being given one of them at the end of the evening.
Selections from Ethel Merman’s disco album and other musical atrocities played as guests arrived. People got up and testified their memories of their friend, and bingo was played - donated prizes included a stack of jazz and vocalist CDs, a box of latex gloves, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Crème, a lava lamp, a set of drag queen/fuck-me pumps dinner table placecard holders, and a Christmas ornament of Bugs Bunny in drag as Carmen Miranda. There was a dance break and later we socialized over the fruit salad, beverages, and other snacks. Many hugs were shared.
Working the Carmen Miranda/Busby Berkeley theme, I also brought full color and gilded Carmen Miranda ornament keepsakes, for use as bookmarks, earrings, or just up on your refrigerator. Dan was also an enthusiastic sharer of all sorts of cinematic finds, many of them rare, obscure, out of print, or completely unavailable on DVD, home-burning them for his many friends. He gave me a copy of the bonus disk that came with the Busby Berkeley box set, which includes over 2½ hours of all the Busby Berkeley musical numbers that appeared in all the movies that Berkeley didn’t direct himself. So I, in turn, dubbed copies of that to give to anyone who wanted one to remember Dan by.
There are extra copies of the program, the Carmen Miranda ornaments, and a few remaining copies of the Busby Berkeley DVD. If you would like any of these to remember Dan by, please specify which and leave your mailing address in a comment (or e-mail it directly and confidentially to thornyc at livejournal dot com), and I’ll be happy to mail one to you.
Christopher read a poem by W. H. Auden to close the remembrance.
Thank you to everyone who contributed their time and talents to make this remembrance and celebration happen, and to all those who attended, or were there in spirit.
Here are a couple questions for everyone participating in March’s “Ask Me Anything” memage: How would you like to be remembered when you’re gone? And what will you regret not doing?
Be more fabulous, in your own way, each and every day. Life is a banquet, darling....