Feel your fire when it's cold in my heart..
Such a beautiful girl, so many memories.... Just gone.
No. She is not gone. She lives on in all of us forever. Christie will live on in her friends and her family, especially her little brothers.
It's still really hard to believe. An aneurysm? At 15? It's in no way fair, but after all the problems she had, she didn't want anymore treatments or doctors or surgeries, so I think this is the way she said that she was finished. She refused to have any more surgeries. She had cancer, and if she didn't pass this way, she probably would have gotten very sick. That would have made it worse for her. At least, this way she went peacefully.
At the wake, I met this kid named Matt who she was friends with at North. He was soo nice, and I'm glad she was able to have such a good friend. I could tell that he adored her. He said that she didn't seem sick at all. He had no idea. I'm glad that she was happy.
She was remarkably strong. Since the sixth grade, she'd been seeing doctors and getting treatments. She just finished 3 months of chemo, and her father told me she was doing well. This just kind of happened. Christie never felt sorry for herself, so in return, I will not feel sorry for myself.
I spoke to both of her parents, and they were really glad to see me, I think. Her mother said that I looked just like Christie last night, which surprised me. The first thing her father said to me was "Look how beautiful you are." I love him. They want me to call them. And I think I will. I can't just desert that family. They were so good to me when I was a kid. There were a bunch of collages with pictures of her and her friends at the wake. I was in quite a few of the pictures. One was when we went to Sesame. One in our communion dresses. One when we were playing in the snow. One at a sleep over. And some others too.
I know this makes me sound crazy, but she was with me last night. I was losing it. I thought I was gunna break down once i got off the phone, but I didn't. All of a sudden, my mind was completely clear. I felt stronger than ever. One of the things I asked for was to have the strength she had when she was alive, and maybe, I got some of what I asked for. Thank you. I held it together during the mass this morning and the burial. Now that I sound crazy..
I wish I could bring her back, but I know I can't. I would give years of my own life to do it, but I can't. What I can do is remember the times that we did have together. Focusing on what she can't do anymore and will never do is not what she would want. She wouldn't want all these people crying for her. What I've chosen to remember are the good times we've had.
I spent many days after school at her house when we were young. It was like I was part of the family. We were friends long enough to go from playing dolls and teacher to talking about boys. In fact, the last time I spoke to her, I told her about Brendan. I remember playing in her pool. I remember singing karaeoke NSYNC and SR-71 in her room. I remember how she loved mozzarella sticks. Now, everytime I eat them, I will probably think of her. I remember when her little brother, Mikey, used to beat me up. I remember sleep overs and bike rides and video games. I remember that trip to Sesame Place when we were a lot younger. I remember trips to the beach. I remember the eighth grade dance, bowling, softball. I remember on the last day of eighth grade, we missed our bus. It was like our last hurrah as the dynamic duo before we graduated. She loved her cats more than anything. I remember sitting next to her at graduation and how we laughed and talked throughout the entire rehearsal. And I remember the last time I saw her. I remember her voice, though I know I won't remember it forever. Talking to her was refreshing because she listened. I will always cherish that sarcastic attitude of hers. I will cherish every moment I got to spend with her because there will not be anymore.
She was a good friend. And I will never forget her.
Christie Rose, knowing you has changed me. I will remember to be strong because of you. I miss you, I love you, I will never forget you.
-----------------------------
I can see your beauty in the sun, I can hear your voice in the wind, but I feel you the most in my heart.
No. She is not gone. She lives on in all of us forever. Christie will live on in her friends and her family, especially her little brothers.
It's still really hard to believe. An aneurysm? At 15? It's in no way fair, but after all the problems she had, she didn't want anymore treatments or doctors or surgeries, so I think this is the way she said that she was finished. She refused to have any more surgeries. She had cancer, and if she didn't pass this way, she probably would have gotten very sick. That would have made it worse for her. At least, this way she went peacefully.
At the wake, I met this kid named Matt who she was friends with at North. He was soo nice, and I'm glad she was able to have such a good friend. I could tell that he adored her. He said that she didn't seem sick at all. He had no idea. I'm glad that she was happy.
She was remarkably strong. Since the sixth grade, she'd been seeing doctors and getting treatments. She just finished 3 months of chemo, and her father told me she was doing well. This just kind of happened. Christie never felt sorry for herself, so in return, I will not feel sorry for myself.
I spoke to both of her parents, and they were really glad to see me, I think. Her mother said that I looked just like Christie last night, which surprised me. The first thing her father said to me was "Look how beautiful you are." I love him. They want me to call them. And I think I will. I can't just desert that family. They were so good to me when I was a kid. There were a bunch of collages with pictures of her and her friends at the wake. I was in quite a few of the pictures. One was when we went to Sesame. One in our communion dresses. One when we were playing in the snow. One at a sleep over. And some others too.
I know this makes me sound crazy, but she was with me last night. I was losing it. I thought I was gunna break down once i got off the phone, but I didn't. All of a sudden, my mind was completely clear. I felt stronger than ever. One of the things I asked for was to have the strength she had when she was alive, and maybe, I got some of what I asked for. Thank you. I held it together during the mass this morning and the burial. Now that I sound crazy..
I wish I could bring her back, but I know I can't. I would give years of my own life to do it, but I can't. What I can do is remember the times that we did have together. Focusing on what she can't do anymore and will never do is not what she would want. She wouldn't want all these people crying for her. What I've chosen to remember are the good times we've had.
I spent many days after school at her house when we were young. It was like I was part of the family. We were friends long enough to go from playing dolls and teacher to talking about boys. In fact, the last time I spoke to her, I told her about Brendan. I remember playing in her pool. I remember singing karaeoke NSYNC and SR-71 in her room. I remember how she loved mozzarella sticks. Now, everytime I eat them, I will probably think of her. I remember when her little brother, Mikey, used to beat me up. I remember sleep overs and bike rides and video games. I remember that trip to Sesame Place when we were a lot younger. I remember trips to the beach. I remember the eighth grade dance, bowling, softball. I remember on the last day of eighth grade, we missed our bus. It was like our last hurrah as the dynamic duo before we graduated. She loved her cats more than anything. I remember sitting next to her at graduation and how we laughed and talked throughout the entire rehearsal. And I remember the last time I saw her. I remember her voice, though I know I won't remember it forever. Talking to her was refreshing because she listened. I will always cherish that sarcastic attitude of hers. I will cherish every moment I got to spend with her because there will not be anymore.
She was a good friend. And I will never forget her.
Christie Rose, knowing you has changed me. I will remember to be strong because of you. I miss you, I love you, I will never forget you.
-----------------------------
I can see your beauty in the sun, I can hear your voice in the wind, but I feel you the most in my heart.