Don't worry, head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.
Today's entry is just a link dump.
Every Russian Novel Ever. 10. 400 Pages Of A Single Aristocratic Family’s Slow, Alcoholic Decline. Hee. Exactly what the label says.
Antlered Does: Not Necessarily Freaks of Nature. Honestly, this is only the second weirdest fact I ever learned about deer. (The first one has to do with the way the pregnant does can spontaneously abort or reabsorb the fetuses they're carrying during harsh times.)
25 Tiny Cabins We Long For. The Cabin Porn tumblr is still my main fix for uselessly yearning after picturesque cabins, but this is also a great collection.
Koala Fight Videos, Ranked. KOALAS ARE SO WEIRD SOUNDING. Also, they fight, like, a lot. In hilarious ways. (The first ranked one is great, not only for how shit gets real so fast, but the scandalized and delighted reaction of the guy filming it.)
19 Wedding Lighting Ideas That Are Nothing Short Of Magical. yeah, I could never afford to do any of these, but they sure are pretty.
Violence Is Currency: A Pacifist Ex-Con's Guide To Prison Weaponry. Useful for those of us who still read/write Oz fic. Or if you just want to be knowing more about what goes on in prison violence.
The snake with eyes bigger than its stomach: Revolting pictures show serpent's titanic battle to eat possum - and how it finally gave up after FOUR HOURS. Oh Daily Mail, you and your titles. But this is just as epic as it promises. Spoiler: the snake fails, and basically barfs the possum back up for the homeowner to deal with. Theory: The snake is actually Reno from FFVII.
14 Facts About The Obama Presidency That Most People Don’t Know. Interesting. At the least, useful for family dinners that inevitably descend into political wank.
How to survive your family's Thanksgiving Christmas arguments. Slightly older, but also useful.
Obama is unpopular. He's also accomplished an incredible amount. In fact, hell, let's have one more. Just for arguing with your Republican cousin, or something.
How Farming Almost Destroyed Ancient Human Civilization. History is crazy, and the tenacity of life is miraculous, and sometimes I wonder how we even got to where we are. Also, this is cool.
Psychological Test. Confessions: I CAN'T SEE THE DOLPHINS. I CAN ONLY SEE THE OTHER THING. HELP ME.
Bored Coworkers Recreate Classic Paintings Using Office Supplies. I admire dicking around of this magnitude. "Every recreation, however, has to satisfy two strict rules: it must be made exclusively using things found in the office, and any photo manipulations, if needed, must be made on a smart phone."
The rest of these are hockey so you can ignore them if that's not your bag. But most are of the funny and/or heartwarming type. (There was a Michael Phelps section, but then I decided Michael needs, like, rest and to be ignored right now until he is less stupid and has figured out what he is doing with his life. I still love you, Michael; get it together)
Say my name: On the Capitals, every nickname has a story. "They can appear from 'out of left field,' said Fehr, who goes by Frank or Frankenstein or Franklin or Frank the Tank. Last season, for example, forward Jay Beagle called defenseman Dmitry Orlov 'Snarl.' Now, whenever Orlov enters a room, teammates announce his arrival with a droning, unified call of the name."
But that's not even the best part. This is the best part:
"Approached after Tuesday’s practice about his old minor-league nickname, Holtby sounded resigned but told the story anyway. It was the best moniker Holtby ever received, he said, and it began when Holtby played for Hershey. Before long, word spread so fast that Holtby started answering to the name. And by the end of the year, even the Bears coaches knew him as “Ellen,” because someone realized Holtby’s hair resembled the famous cut of Ellen DeGeneres."
Here’s Alex Ovechkin Jumping on a Trampoline in Yellow Spandex (GIF). The best part is Kuznetsov looking on, and then, um, visibly adjusting his junk.
Carly and Alzy Are Back With More Radio Spots! Their acting is... tremendous, even just in voice form. I'll never understand why they don't have more of a following as a pairing. They talk about tight whities in one of these, for God's sake. I need to do them as one of those shipping entries I keep saying I'll write and then never getting around to.
What NHL team has the best goal song? and We Just Scored. Analyzing the goal songs and horns of all 30 NHL teams.
Photo portraits of the Caps for the Winter Classic. Holtby looks like a psychotic English professor. I love it.
Alex Ovechkin Grants 8-Year-Old Girl’s Wish, Combine to Score Cutest Goal Ever (GIF), and further recap. SELFISHVECHKIN SHOULD HAVE SHOT THAT PUCK AND NOT PASSED IT.
Alex Ovechkin Helps Seven Orphanages in Russia And Doesn’t Want Anyone To Know About It. SELFISHVECHKIN STRIKES AGAIN, SHOULD HAVE BEEN HELPING EIGHT ORPHANAGES.
No, seriously, he's awesome. He's just awesome. He's more awesome than your fave will ever be. I HAVE DECREED IT. There's always something else to love about him.
Braden Holtby’s Son Ben Skates With Dad For First Time, Wears Bicycle Helmet (Video). That was so cute and sweet, I think I just got diabetes.
Caps Family Skate day. Hockey players and their tiny babies. Nothing better. BABY BEAGLE INNA WAGON.
The best Latta and Wilson bits from the first EPIX episode. Of course, it's about the ketchup and the dad thing. (Which might make you wonder, who's mom in this scenario?)
Alex Ovechkin and John Wall trade ugly sweaters in Caps-Wizards holiday video. Last but not least. The Caps and Wizards combined for their holiday video this year. Not quite as good as last year's but still great, if only for the sweater swap, Jason Chimera kissing Joel Ward, and Nene being... Nene.
Tomorrow I'm going to a miniatures painting workshop. This is again one of those holiday things I don't quite remember agreeing to do, which makes me suspect my mother asked me to do it sometime during the morning routine I outlined a few entries ago. Hmm.
Every Russian Novel Ever. 10. 400 Pages Of A Single Aristocratic Family’s Slow, Alcoholic Decline. Hee. Exactly what the label says.
Antlered Does: Not Necessarily Freaks of Nature. Honestly, this is only the second weirdest fact I ever learned about deer. (The first one has to do with the way the pregnant does can spontaneously abort or reabsorb the fetuses they're carrying during harsh times.)
25 Tiny Cabins We Long For. The Cabin Porn tumblr is still my main fix for uselessly yearning after picturesque cabins, but this is also a great collection.
Koala Fight Videos, Ranked. KOALAS ARE SO WEIRD SOUNDING. Also, they fight, like, a lot. In hilarious ways. (The first ranked one is great, not only for how shit gets real so fast, but the scandalized and delighted reaction of the guy filming it.)
19 Wedding Lighting Ideas That Are Nothing Short Of Magical. yeah, I could never afford to do any of these, but they sure are pretty.
Violence Is Currency: A Pacifist Ex-Con's Guide To Prison Weaponry. Useful for those of us who still read/write Oz fic. Or if you just want to be knowing more about what goes on in prison violence.
The snake with eyes bigger than its stomach: Revolting pictures show serpent's titanic battle to eat possum - and how it finally gave up after FOUR HOURS. Oh Daily Mail, you and your titles. But this is just as epic as it promises. Spoiler: the snake fails, and basically barfs the possum back up for the homeowner to deal with. Theory: The snake is actually Reno from FFVII.
14 Facts About The Obama Presidency That Most People Don’t Know. Interesting. At the least, useful for family dinners that inevitably descend into political wank.
How to survive your family's Thanksgiving Christmas arguments. Slightly older, but also useful.
Obama is unpopular. He's also accomplished an incredible amount. In fact, hell, let's have one more. Just for arguing with your Republican cousin, or something.
How Farming Almost Destroyed Ancient Human Civilization. History is crazy, and the tenacity of life is miraculous, and sometimes I wonder how we even got to where we are. Also, this is cool.
Psychological Test. Confessions: I CAN'T SEE THE DOLPHINS. I CAN ONLY SEE THE OTHER THING. HELP ME.
Bored Coworkers Recreate Classic Paintings Using Office Supplies. I admire dicking around of this magnitude. "Every recreation, however, has to satisfy two strict rules: it must be made exclusively using things found in the office, and any photo manipulations, if needed, must be made on a smart phone."
The rest of these are hockey so you can ignore them if that's not your bag. But most are of the funny and/or heartwarming type. (There was a Michael Phelps section, but then I decided Michael needs, like, rest and to be ignored right now until he is less stupid and has figured out what he is doing with his life. I still love you, Michael; get it together)
Say my name: On the Capitals, every nickname has a story. "They can appear from 'out of left field,' said Fehr, who goes by Frank or Frankenstein or Franklin or Frank the Tank. Last season, for example, forward Jay Beagle called defenseman Dmitry Orlov 'Snarl.' Now, whenever Orlov enters a room, teammates announce his arrival with a droning, unified call of the name."
But that's not even the best part. This is the best part:
"Approached after Tuesday’s practice about his old minor-league nickname, Holtby sounded resigned but told the story anyway. It was the best moniker Holtby ever received, he said, and it began when Holtby played for Hershey. Before long, word spread so fast that Holtby started answering to the name. And by the end of the year, even the Bears coaches knew him as “Ellen,” because someone realized Holtby’s hair resembled the famous cut of Ellen DeGeneres."
Here’s Alex Ovechkin Jumping on a Trampoline in Yellow Spandex (GIF). The best part is Kuznetsov looking on, and then, um, visibly adjusting his junk.
Carly and Alzy Are Back With More Radio Spots! Their acting is... tremendous, even just in voice form. I'll never understand why they don't have more of a following as a pairing. They talk about tight whities in one of these, for God's sake. I need to do them as one of those shipping entries I keep saying I'll write and then never getting around to.
What NHL team has the best goal song? and We Just Scored. Analyzing the goal songs and horns of all 30 NHL teams.
Photo portraits of the Caps for the Winter Classic. Holtby looks like a psychotic English professor. I love it.
Alex Ovechkin Grants 8-Year-Old Girl’s Wish, Combine to Score Cutest Goal Ever (GIF), and further recap. SELFISHVECHKIN SHOULD HAVE SHOT THAT PUCK AND NOT PASSED IT.
Alex Ovechkin Helps Seven Orphanages in Russia And Doesn’t Want Anyone To Know About It. SELFISHVECHKIN STRIKES AGAIN, SHOULD HAVE BEEN HELPING EIGHT ORPHANAGES.
No, seriously, he's awesome. He's just awesome. He's more awesome than your fave will ever be. I HAVE DECREED IT. There's always something else to love about him.
Braden Holtby’s Son Ben Skates With Dad For First Time, Wears Bicycle Helmet (Video). That was so cute and sweet, I think I just got diabetes.
Caps Family Skate day. Hockey players and their tiny babies. Nothing better. BABY BEAGLE INNA WAGON.
The best Latta and Wilson bits from the first EPIX episode. Of course, it's about the ketchup and the dad thing. (Which might make you wonder, who's mom in this scenario?)
Alex Ovechkin and John Wall trade ugly sweaters in Caps-Wizards holiday video. Last but not least. The Caps and Wizards combined for their holiday video this year. Not quite as good as last year's but still great, if only for the sweater swap, Jason Chimera kissing Joel Ward, and Nene being... Nene.
Tomorrow I'm going to a miniatures painting workshop. This is again one of those holiday things I don't quite remember agreeing to do, which makes me suspect my mother asked me to do it sometime during the morning routine I outlined a few entries ago. Hmm.