because you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out
Every time I start to write an lj entry about what I've been doing for the last couple months, I get distracted, so instead I'm just going to post some music to try and segue my way back into this whole writing shit again. And then I can work my way up to clearing out the roughly bazillion links I shoved into my "this is interesting" folder, and maybe even post some fanfic. (I swear, any fic I wrote gets down to pretty much the last paragraph that needs to be written, and then I forget it for a good couple of years. There's probably a theory about it that I could parallel to my same practice with collecting wine and/or weird alcohol, wherein I'm always hoping the long periods of ignoring it will help it in the long run. This is a good disguise for what is actually just laziness.)
Because, I mean, things happened! Interesting things, even! Should write about them! I spent a sizable chunk of time in Rome! Things I did there are included but not limited to:
-Was in minor vehicular accident within two hours of arriving in the country
-Ate all the gelato
-Photobombed the pope (current pope, by accident)
-Almost broke the pope's window (previous pope, deliberate)
-Bit a priest (not the pope, by accident)
-Got stuck on a three hours bus ride with forty Minnesotans who wanted to do nothing but karaoke
-Argued with nine different Legionaries of Christ
-Possibly incurred some kind of curse by Padre Pio because of sacrilegious remarks
-Saw enormous, 20 foot high Baby Jesus statue
-Viewed at least three supposedly incorruptible bodies
-Cheated the Roman train system
So it's not like things haven't been happening. It's more like too much has been happening. Also, you know, there is the small matter of the Olympics. I am a fool for the Olympics, both winter and summer versions, though I am finding this iteration more stressful than usual, what with the hockey issues at stake.
But, you can't let crippling fear of potential sports grief or a general malaise in writing get you down. All you can do is half-ass your way around it until you find a better solution, which is honestly how I get through most of my life issues anyway. Hey, we haven't had a music post in a while. Let's have some random music. We even have a theme this time! Kind of. Maybe. Look, it applies to at least half of them, what else do you want from me.
Yeah, most of these are songs off my playlist of Sport Currently Giving Me Ulcers, and in this case, it's the Caps. (It's always the Caps. Except on the rare Michael Phelps occasion, and the still somewhat new Nats and DC United experience, and the nerve-wracking current Olympics. Actually, the Nats landed right on schedule for "something I get kinda interested in, only to be shit-kicked directly in the chest by at post-season" cycle that inevitably happens. Not so the Skins; that fucking tire fire has been going on forever now, and I no longer even try to make myself care how they're doing.)
MP3s are for testing purposes only; delete after 24 hours or face Shana-ban.
The National - Don't Swallow the Cap. This is my favorite song off the National's new album. Like with "Slow Show", The National always makes me feel vaguely wistful when they sing about love because it's not the young, dizzy kind. It looks backwards and forwards at the same time. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but then again, their songs don't either. Also, the beginning of this song sounds briefly but disconcertingly like The Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' for You."
Despite the title that could be connected to both DC's hockey AND baseball teams, this one actually legitimately has nothing to do with my Sports Frustration. It's just here because it's my current favorite song.
I have only two emotions,
Careful fear and dead devotion.
I can't get the balance right.
Reel Big Fish - Take On Me: This one's actually kind of a holdover from the Nats, but since Michael Morse is gone and the Nats still use it in-game, I'm going to hold onto it. It's kind of an unnerving song when you listen to it, you know? Especially with the whole "well, I'll be coming for your love anyway." But I love the Reel Big Fish cover of it better than the original A-ha, since the Reel Big Fish version is just more quick-paced and wackier. Plus, their music video has BASEketball and no weird comics coming to life.
Oh, things that you say
Yeah, is it life or just to play my worries away
You're all the things I've got to remember
Save Ferris - Come On Eileen. I love this cover, all sped up and on crack. It's one of my go-to songs to feel better when I'm down about something. Often that something is a two goal blown lead.
And we can sing just like our fathers
J. Roddy Walston & The Business - Heavy Bells: This is a local-ish band, originally out of Tennessee, but now based in both Baltimore and Richmond. And you know, it's just not a music post if I don't have at least one song that has something in the description like, "this is like a Silent Hill version of…"
Well. This is like a Silent Hill version of… hell, I dunno, a revival song. The lyrics are weird and disquieting (what is a nerve hound? why is it moaning?) but I like it a lot. It's got power. And Catholicism! And nerve hounds, whatever they are. Who could turn down that combination, eh?
Daddy burnt the dirt but the seed survived.
Daddy burnt the dirt but the seed survived.
I muscle holler and a moan.
I muscle holler and a moan.
The Lonely Island - YOLO: I have a confession to make: when they're wearing sunglasses, which is like, all the time, I can barely tell the members of the Lonely Island apart. I can't even reliably identify Andy Samberg. I suck. You know, like with most Lonely Island songs that debut on Saturday Night Live, I thought this was silly when I first saw it, but it's grown on me. It's shamefully fun to sing along to, and the video is pretty good, too.
You oughta look out
Also stands for YOLO.
Monty Python - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: Yeah, I pretty much had to have this on repeat whenever I watched a Capitals game for the first half of the 2013shortened season, and also, well, now. Also, more songs should use whistling. Like "Pumped Up Kicks"! Whistling is an under-appreciated musical form.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And always look on the bright side of life
Flo Rida - Whistle. Another song with whistling. And oral sex implications. Because, you know, the whistle means oral sex. Like, blow jobs. And sucking. I could draw you a diagram? No? Okay, just-the offer is there. It's on the table. And yet, this song is still only second in my heart to "songs ostensibly about whistles that are really about blowjobs." That title belongs to the "The Whistle Song (Blow My Whistle Bitch)" of the DJ Aligator Project.
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
The Zombies - Time of the Season. I've always found this song sort of unaccountably creepy, too. Maybe it's the psychedelic aspect. Maybe it's the weird daddy issues or the whole "pleasured hands" thing in the lyrics. Like, I know it gets used for romantic scenes and such, but I've always felt like this would be what a psychopath would be humming while he (or she) dismembers the poor girl (or boy) they were previously just getting it on with.
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun to promised lands
To show you every one
It's the time of the season for loving
Mumford and Sons - Babel. This is on all the freaking time on the radio, so I had to learn to like it or it would have driven me legitimately crazy.
But I'll ride home laughing, look at me now
The walls of my town, they come crumbling down
Counting Crows - American Girls: I've been listening to a lot of Counting Crows lately, which I blame on the fact I'm going through all of the mix CDs I made back in college, and being kind of impressed and horrified at the sheer number of them.
American girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Harlem - New Politics. I like upbeat songs with downbeat lyrics and downbeat songs with upbeat lyrics, and sometimes I just like upbeat songs that also have upbeat lyrics! Astounding! For those rare occasions when things are going well in DC.
I spend my money on the regular miracles
Just like you, like me, like everybody else.
Ian Rubbish and the Bizarros - It's A Lovely Day. Okay, so, I normally try not to invest too many emotions in sports-I often fail at this, pretty obviously-because frankly, it's just asking for trouble, since the results are pretty much completely out of your hands. They're supposed to be fun, right? Something you follow to take your mind off the crap in everyday life. I imagine this is why 2013's playoff exit hit harder than usual, since it happened right when work was seriously driving me around the bend, and I was having some family issues as well, and I actually had to sit through that Game Seven drubbing at Verizon itself, and then drag my ass home on a metro filled with drunk, whooping Rags fans and drunk, morose Caps fans, all of us sharing that same "I am bleeding internally" expression on our faces.. It felt like everything was shitty all at once and NOTHING WOULD EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN. And I legitimately drag-assed my way through the first week after the playoff exits, until… the Saturday Night Live finale.
And mind you, I was already sad because Bill Hader from SNL was going to be leaving the show, and he's pretty much the best part of SNL. But Fred Armisen was also due to exit stage left, and for his final skit, they did his Ian Rubbish and the Bizarros British punk band thing, and it was actually REALLY MOVING. It was all meta and shit, and they sang a catchy song that was actually really sweet. Wait, let me find the quote.
"It's a song about, like, it's when things are down, yeah? When you feel like the whole world's against you and it feels like everything's changing so fast, yeah? What you do is, you look at everything in the face, yeah, and you say, 'I happen to think it's gonna be a lovely day.'"
So, thank you, Fred Armisen. You made me break out of my post-playoff slump. It HAS been all right. I DID have a lovely night… with you.
It's been all right
I've had a lovely night with you
Kongos - Come With Me Now. Recent radio hit. It has accordions! More songs should have accordions. Accordions and whistling, that's the stuff. When the lead singer on this warbles "far away", he sounds kind of like the guy from Muse. So, I dunno, if that's your thing, hey, you might like the song. But also, accordions.
Come with me now
I'm gonna take you down
Come with me now
I'm gonna show you how
Carbon Leaf - The Donnybrook Affair. Well, we can't let the Dropkick Murphy's have the full monopoly on songs played at hockey arenas, can we? This does quite nicely, and even has a political tinge. Perfect for the area, though I could also do with hearing more Flogging Molly in arenas.
A row, a ruction, a fracas, an affray
A rough-n-tumble free-for-all
A broil, a brawl, a melee
Sir Sly - Gold. Jesus, this is a lot of music. I heard this just the other day and thought, "Huh, if I was an Olympic athlete, maybe I would listen to this a lot!" Because, you know, it seemed very single minded and mentioned gold a lot. Then I watched the music video, which is creepy and has Silent Hill-like plot twists (two Silent Hill references in one music post; that can't be good for anyone's health) and was all, "Oh Jesus, I take back what I was thinking."
(Flidget and I have discussed Silent Hill Olympics, by the way. I'm almost positive I have posted about it, but I can't be arsed to check. The fact that a lot of Olympic venues end up looking like Silent Hill shortly after the games are over only persuades me all the more than someone should be writing about various athletic versions of Silent Hill. The old cemeteries, creepy wooden men, and stray dogs are also doing nothing to convince me otherwise. I would say more about this, but Flidget has threatened to beat me soundly about the head and shoulders should I even mention a certain person-let's call him... Tom D. No, that's too obvious...uh, let's say T. Daley-so I'll shut up.
Even if she would have to get on a chair to hit me properly.)
So, this might not be the best song for the Olympics after all, which means we're closing this on kind of a weird note. Quick, we'll salvage the moment with some pictures:
LOOK AT THAT FACE. HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT THAT FACE TO BE HAPPY.
Reunited and it feels so good. I did love the interview detail that Semin prodded him out of taking a nap. Sasha Squared are bros for life.
Heh. Tongue.
I would watch the hell out of a sitcom based on this pic, where single dad Putin struggles to bring up his large, rowdy figure skating clan and navigate the dating world at the same time. It would be called Bloc by Bloc. Every week, they learn a new lesson, and everyone hugs. Instead of sweatervests, Putin goes shirtless.
…You know, as much as I'm throwing all my wishes to Ovechkin right now, I feel like I should include something American here. Uh. Er. Hmm.
YES.
Basically, I had a point somewhere when I started writing this, and that point is that I want Alex Ovechkin to win all the gold medals, even for events that he's not entered in (Alex Ovechkin for ice dancing! Alex Ovechkin for moguls! Alex Ovechkin for cross country skiing! Alex Ovechkin for skeleton! Alex Ovechkin for two man bobsled! …actually, I can kind of see him doing that last one. He would pair up with Semin, their sled would be painted to look like the Batmobile, and it would basically go down a lot like this) and if you're against me or him, I will destroy you. I will leap at you like a spider monkey and rip your voicebox out with my teeth, spitting it across the room with a triumphant animal-esque roar that you will hear faintly through the fast fading thunder of the blood pounding in your ears and spraying from your aorta. The Olympic madness is upon me, and like Bob Costas' pink-eye infection, my bloodlust shall not be easily conquered.
…Bode Miller can win the remaining gold medals. He will then lose them to a street shyster in a fixed shell game, or possibly leave them in the bathroom of a pub while drunk, because that is the Bode Miller way.
Because, I mean, things happened! Interesting things, even! Should write about them! I spent a sizable chunk of time in Rome! Things I did there are included but not limited to:
-Was in minor vehicular accident within two hours of arriving in the country
-Ate all the gelato
-Photobombed the pope (current pope, by accident)
-Almost broke the pope's window (previous pope, deliberate)
-Bit a priest (not the pope, by accident)
-Got stuck on a three hours bus ride with forty Minnesotans who wanted to do nothing but karaoke
-Argued with nine different Legionaries of Christ
-Possibly incurred some kind of curse by Padre Pio because of sacrilegious remarks
-Saw enormous, 20 foot high Baby Jesus statue
-Viewed at least three supposedly incorruptible bodies
-Cheated the Roman train system
So it's not like things haven't been happening. It's more like too much has been happening. Also, you know, there is the small matter of the Olympics. I am a fool for the Olympics, both winter and summer versions, though I am finding this iteration more stressful than usual, what with the hockey issues at stake.
But, you can't let crippling fear of potential sports grief or a general malaise in writing get you down. All you can do is half-ass your way around it until you find a better solution, which is honestly how I get through most of my life issues anyway. Hey, we haven't had a music post in a while. Let's have some random music. We even have a theme this time! Kind of. Maybe. Look, it applies to at least half of them, what else do you want from me.
Yeah, most of these are songs off my playlist of Sport Currently Giving Me Ulcers, and in this case, it's the Caps. (It's always the Caps. Except on the rare Michael Phelps occasion, and the still somewhat new Nats and DC United experience, and the nerve-wracking current Olympics. Actually, the Nats landed right on schedule for "something I get kinda interested in, only to be shit-kicked directly in the chest by at post-season" cycle that inevitably happens. Not so the Skins; that fucking tire fire has been going on forever now, and I no longer even try to make myself care how they're doing.)
MP3s are for testing purposes only; delete after 24 hours or face Shana-ban.
The National - Don't Swallow the Cap. This is my favorite song off the National's new album. Like with "Slow Show", The National always makes me feel vaguely wistful when they sing about love because it's not the young, dizzy kind. It looks backwards and forwards at the same time. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but then again, their songs don't either. Also, the beginning of this song sounds briefly but disconcertingly like The Blue Oyster Cult's "Burnin' for You."
Despite the title that could be connected to both DC's hockey AND baseball teams, this one actually legitimately has nothing to do with my Sports Frustration. It's just here because it's my current favorite song.
I have only two emotions,
Careful fear and dead devotion.
I can't get the balance right.
Reel Big Fish - Take On Me: This one's actually kind of a holdover from the Nats, but since Michael Morse is gone and the Nats still use it in-game, I'm going to hold onto it. It's kind of an unnerving song when you listen to it, you know? Especially with the whole "well, I'll be coming for your love anyway." But I love the Reel Big Fish cover of it better than the original A-ha, since the Reel Big Fish version is just more quick-paced and wackier. Plus, their music video has BASEketball and no weird comics coming to life.
Oh, things that you say
Yeah, is it life or just to play my worries away
You're all the things I've got to remember
Save Ferris - Come On Eileen. I love this cover, all sped up and on crack. It's one of my go-to songs to feel better when I'm down about something. Often that something is a two goal blown lead.
And we can sing just like our fathers
J. Roddy Walston & The Business - Heavy Bells: This is a local-ish band, originally out of Tennessee, but now based in both Baltimore and Richmond. And you know, it's just not a music post if I don't have at least one song that has something in the description like, "this is like a Silent Hill version of…"
Well. This is like a Silent Hill version of… hell, I dunno, a revival song. The lyrics are weird and disquieting (what is a nerve hound? why is it moaning?) but I like it a lot. It's got power. And Catholicism! And nerve hounds, whatever they are. Who could turn down that combination, eh?
Daddy burnt the dirt but the seed survived.
Daddy burnt the dirt but the seed survived.
I muscle holler and a moan.
I muscle holler and a moan.
The Lonely Island - YOLO: I have a confession to make: when they're wearing sunglasses, which is like, all the time, I can barely tell the members of the Lonely Island apart. I can't even reliably identify Andy Samberg. I suck. You know, like with most Lonely Island songs that debut on Saturday Night Live, I thought this was silly when I first saw it, but it's grown on me. It's shamefully fun to sing along to, and the video is pretty good, too.
You oughta look out
Also stands for YOLO.
Monty Python - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: Yeah, I pretty much had to have this on repeat whenever I watched a Capitals game for the first half of the 2013shortened season, and also, well, now. Also, more songs should use whistling. Like "Pumped Up Kicks"! Whistling is an under-appreciated musical form.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And always look on the bright side of life
Flo Rida - Whistle. Another song with whistling. And oral sex implications. Because, you know, the whistle means oral sex. Like, blow jobs. And sucking. I could draw you a diagram? No? Okay, just-the offer is there. It's on the table. And yet, this song is still only second in my heart to "songs ostensibly about whistles that are really about blowjobs." That title belongs to the "The Whistle Song (Blow My Whistle Bitch)" of the DJ Aligator Project.
Can you blow my whistle, baby?
Whistle, baby, let me know
Girl, I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
The Zombies - Time of the Season. I've always found this song sort of unaccountably creepy, too. Maybe it's the psychedelic aspect. Maybe it's the weird daddy issues or the whole "pleasured hands" thing in the lyrics. Like, I know it gets used for romantic scenes and such, but I've always felt like this would be what a psychopath would be humming while he (or she) dismembers the poor girl (or boy) they were previously just getting it on with.
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun to promised lands
To show you every one
It's the time of the season for loving
Mumford and Sons - Babel. This is on all the freaking time on the radio, so I had to learn to like it or it would have driven me legitimately crazy.
But I'll ride home laughing, look at me now
The walls of my town, they come crumbling down
Counting Crows - American Girls: I've been listening to a lot of Counting Crows lately, which I blame on the fact I'm going through all of the mix CDs I made back in college, and being kind of impressed and horrified at the sheer number of them.
American girls are weather and noise
Playing the changes for all of the boys
Harlem - New Politics. I like upbeat songs with downbeat lyrics and downbeat songs with upbeat lyrics, and sometimes I just like upbeat songs that also have upbeat lyrics! Astounding! For those rare occasions when things are going well in DC.
I spend my money on the regular miracles
Just like you, like me, like everybody else.
Ian Rubbish and the Bizarros - It's A Lovely Day. Okay, so, I normally try not to invest too many emotions in sports-I often fail at this, pretty obviously-because frankly, it's just asking for trouble, since the results are pretty much completely out of your hands. They're supposed to be fun, right? Something you follow to take your mind off the crap in everyday life. I imagine this is why 2013's playoff exit hit harder than usual, since it happened right when work was seriously driving me around the bend, and I was having some family issues as well, and I actually had to sit through that Game Seven drubbing at Verizon itself, and then drag my ass home on a metro filled with drunk, whooping Rags fans and drunk, morose Caps fans, all of us sharing that same "I am bleeding internally" expression on our faces.. It felt like everything was shitty all at once and NOTHING WOULD EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN. And I legitimately drag-assed my way through the first week after the playoff exits, until… the Saturday Night Live finale.
And mind you, I was already sad because Bill Hader from SNL was going to be leaving the show, and he's pretty much the best part of SNL. But Fred Armisen was also due to exit stage left, and for his final skit, they did his Ian Rubbish and the Bizarros British punk band thing, and it was actually REALLY MOVING. It was all meta and shit, and they sang a catchy song that was actually really sweet. Wait, let me find the quote.
"It's a song about, like, it's when things are down, yeah? When you feel like the whole world's against you and it feels like everything's changing so fast, yeah? What you do is, you look at everything in the face, yeah, and you say, 'I happen to think it's gonna be a lovely day.'"
So, thank you, Fred Armisen. You made me break out of my post-playoff slump. It HAS been all right. I DID have a lovely night… with you.
It's been all right
I've had a lovely night with you
Kongos - Come With Me Now. Recent radio hit. It has accordions! More songs should have accordions. Accordions and whistling, that's the stuff. When the lead singer on this warbles "far away", he sounds kind of like the guy from Muse. So, I dunno, if that's your thing, hey, you might like the song. But also, accordions.
Come with me now
I'm gonna take you down
Come with me now
I'm gonna show you how
Carbon Leaf - The Donnybrook Affair. Well, we can't let the Dropkick Murphy's have the full monopoly on songs played at hockey arenas, can we? This does quite nicely, and even has a political tinge. Perfect for the area, though I could also do with hearing more Flogging Molly in arenas.
A row, a ruction, a fracas, an affray
A rough-n-tumble free-for-all
A broil, a brawl, a melee
Sir Sly - Gold. Jesus, this is a lot of music. I heard this just the other day and thought, "Huh, if I was an Olympic athlete, maybe I would listen to this a lot!" Because, you know, it seemed very single minded and mentioned gold a lot. Then I watched the music video, which is creepy and has Silent Hill-like plot twists (two Silent Hill references in one music post; that can't be good for anyone's health) and was all, "Oh Jesus, I take back what I was thinking."
(Flidget and I have discussed Silent Hill Olympics, by the way. I'm almost positive I have posted about it, but I can't be arsed to check. The fact that a lot of Olympic venues end up looking like Silent Hill shortly after the games are over only persuades me all the more than someone should be writing about various athletic versions of Silent Hill. The old cemeteries, creepy wooden men, and stray dogs are also doing nothing to convince me otherwise. I would say more about this, but Flidget has threatened to beat me soundly about the head and shoulders should I even mention a certain person-let's call him... Tom D. No, that's too obvious...uh, let's say T. Daley-so I'll shut up.
Even if she would have to get on a chair to hit me properly.)
So, this might not be the best song for the Olympics after all, which means we're closing this on kind of a weird note. Quick, we'll salvage the moment with some pictures:
LOOK AT THAT FACE. HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT THAT FACE TO BE HAPPY.
Reunited and it feels so good. I did love the interview detail that Semin prodded him out of taking a nap. Sasha Squared are bros for life.
Heh. Tongue.
I would watch the hell out of a sitcom based on this pic, where single dad Putin struggles to bring up his large, rowdy figure skating clan and navigate the dating world at the same time. It would be called Bloc by Bloc. Every week, they learn a new lesson, and everyone hugs. Instead of sweatervests, Putin goes shirtless.
…You know, as much as I'm throwing all my wishes to Ovechkin right now, I feel like I should include something American here. Uh. Er. Hmm.
YES.
Basically, I had a point somewhere when I started writing this, and that point is that I want Alex Ovechkin to win all the gold medals, even for events that he's not entered in (Alex Ovechkin for ice dancing! Alex Ovechkin for moguls! Alex Ovechkin for cross country skiing! Alex Ovechkin for skeleton! Alex Ovechkin for two man bobsled! …actually, I can kind of see him doing that last one. He would pair up with Semin, their sled would be painted to look like the Batmobile, and it would basically go down a lot like this) and if you're against me or him, I will destroy you. I will leap at you like a spider monkey and rip your voicebox out with my teeth, spitting it across the room with a triumphant animal-esque roar that you will hear faintly through the fast fading thunder of the blood pounding in your ears and spraying from your aorta. The Olympic madness is upon me, and like Bob Costas' pink-eye infection, my bloodlust shall not be easily conquered.
…Bode Miller can win the remaining gold medals. He will then lose them to a street shyster in a fixed shell game, or possibly leave them in the bathroom of a pub while drunk, because that is the Bode Miller way.