The things we did, the thing you hide
Kicked in the dick by the world yet again-- we had some massive rainstorms yesterday, and two weeks after installing new carpet, my living room and basement inexplicably flood. (Which I found out about by my painters calling me and saying, "Hey, uh, did you know most of your downstairs is kind of wet?") So, tomorrow I'll argue with my insurance company over who foots the bill for this, though my hopes are depressingly low, and I suspect I will be the one eating the cost. Being an adult and worrying about this stuff sucks balls. I would like to lodge a complaint somewhere.
So, I had wanted to do the post-every-day-challenge for August that I did last year, but given all the projects and life crap I have going on right now, it just wasn't going to be feasible. I'll have to give it a go in October or something instead. In the meantime, I am back from Vegas with all the internal organs I went out there with, and in fact somehow won fifty dollars from video blackjack so I overall count the trip as a win. More on that later, and also probably Nationals, Pan Pac, a meme, Pale Sky, Scaly Dicks, fanfic backlog, more house buying hysteria, and what have you. And maybe watching either Inception or the new Sherlock, since 98% of my flist is reacting Beatlemania-ishly to both.
For the time being, have some links.
So, Shark Week has come and gone, much to my sadness. I always enjoy Shark Week; not only do I get to see-- well, sharks, but there are usually a lot of interesting accents going on and someone gets bitten in half. Good times. Shark Week is also a reliable jumpstarter to the scaly dick story again, which grew another fifteen pages. Stupid story.
Sharky Tea Infuser and Other Unusual Kitchen Gadgets. OMG, awesome! Just in time for Shark Week! As I told Ann, who sent me the link, I only wish they had one of those little hotdog octopuses sitting there on a plate as well.
Shark Yourself. Convert a picture of yourself into a shark. (I won't tell you what I did to a picture of Michael Phelps. It was his face, though, not any... other part of him.)
Students Test Dive Mechanical Dolphin Tails. I saw a feature on this earlier in the year, and man, I totally want one. Those researchers were hauling serious ass in the water. Maybe you could use them in the competitive swimming bodysuit controversy fight-- anyone who doesn't have a body suit is allowed to wear mechanical tails instead.
Custard-Like Liquid Armor Solidifies Instantly. A liquid armor has been shown to stop bullets in tests carried out by UK scientists at BAE systems in Bristol. The BAE scientists describe it as "bullet-proof custard".
Somewhere a dog barked. Pick up just about any novel and you'll find a throwaway reference to a dog, barking in the distance. Odd.
The Force is strong, and also well-dressed. Greg Peltz, best known for being the soldier half of this Team Fortress II cosplay team, has gone and created a small series of Victorian-looking Star Wars portraits. I love Chewie's monocle.
New Star Wars Art Mega Post. To be viewed in accompaniment with the above link. Damn, dude. I just. Damn. (Stormtrooper helmets make everything funnier.)
Consider saffron. I tend to consider saffron periodically in the grocery store, in the way of "Twenty bucks? I'm not paying that for a spice! ...I'll just steal some from my brother again." But the article is fascinating, and reminds you of just why the spice is so expensive. (I still steal from my brother, though. It's okay, he steals my extra toilet paper.)
The Candwich: A Sandwich in a Can. Exactly what the title says. The Onion Av Club tried this in a taste test. Absolutely horrifying.
Fast Food Oddities. "Do I have $3.49 and a death wish?" Oh God, just looking at these things makes my cholesterol scream.
Swimming Naked With 500 Watermelons in the Dead Sea. An old link and story, but I find the visual so oddly delightful, that I wanted to revisit it.
See Every Adorable O-Face From The World Cup. The World Cup may be gone again, but you can relive all the silly dances and delighted expressions and abundant displays of manlove that it brought to us.
Zombies And Giant Squid: Summer's Monster Hits!. Summer reading that is NOT about vampires, but still covers the fantastic. Also includes, "Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion" and my very first reaction was to check and see if it was m_steelgrave writing under a pseudonym. I read the first couple chapters while standing around in a Borders store, and it's actually rather funny. John turning Paul into a zombie is like the creepiest love story ever. Morgan, I tentatively recommend it to you.
OMFG: You Won't Believe What "The Wine Rack" Does. Um. Well. You know those hats you can wear? That have places to stick your beer cans and tubes to drink from? And those backpacks you can take on hiking trips, filled with water, and again with the tubes? Well, this is essentially the same thing. Only for your boobs. And filled with wine. The inflatable wine-carrying bra, for those critical times when you have to be both drunk and have a rack that won't quit.
One of the more useful things I ever learned was how to cure hiccups on myself. This requires a cup of water, a straw, two hands, and a certain willingness to sacrifice dignity. Pop the straw in the water, plug your ears with your forefingers while simultaneously pinching your nostrils shut with your thumbs, latch onto the straw and drink the cup of water. Works every time for me. If you have an understanding friend, you can have them plug your ears while you hold your nose; this removes the need for the straw.
I mention this solely because I want you to have a clear mental image of what I was doing about five minutes ago.
ThorneScratch: Just bear with me. This week I think will be a bad one. But, if I just keep my head down and force through, maybe it'll come out okay.
twigcollins: Like giving birth. Claw your way out of the womb of mediocrity. Like in Alien! Wait.
ThorneScratch: Wait, this metaphor...
twigcollins: XD
ThorneScratch: Dude.
twigcollins: Something's gone off.
ThorneScratch: That was a Zack metaphor.
Sephiroth: This is why you can't have nice things
Though in all honesty, neither of them are any good at pep talks. Sephiroth gives the "do better than you are currently doing" talk type. Zack uses bizarre metaphors. And Tseng is just, "Do this right or I'll shoot you, Reno."
twigcollins: The Reno addition is automatic, whether or not he's in the same time zone. It's a verbal tic he developed.
ThorneScratch: Exactly. Reno can even sense it from a distance.
Reno: Shit
Barwench: ?
Reno: Gonna get shot later today.
Reno: Meh. Bottoms up.
twigcollins: Reno: Want to be my last memory?
Which is entirely untrue. His last memory will be about beer nuts.
ThorneScratch: And victory. Reno is totally happy being Reno, which is good, because no one else wants to be Reno.
Elena: God, can you imagine the overhead in trips to the STD clinic alone?
Reno: I don't cure 'em anymore. I just let them fight it out amongst themselves.
twigcollins: It's an equilibrium. The constant battle is the only thing keeping him alive. Ironically, it also makes him unkillable. He's not as much a person as one of those living molds.
ThorneScratch: Little pods of Renos dropping off everywhere. An infestation in Shinra.
Rufus: We'll have to raze it to the ground and then salt the earth.
twigcollins: The Sister Ray: originally designed as a Reno-containment device.
ThorneScratch: "We're gonna need a bigger gun."
twigcollins: "Does this thing have a Febreze attachment?"
***
ThorneScratch: I swear to God, 75% of the phone calls I get on my office line are people looking for this unrelated colonoscopy clinic ten miles away, which is one digit off my number. And when I tell them they have the wrong number, they just cannot understand. "But you're also a medical office!" YOUR COLON AND HEART ARE NOT THE SAME THING. IF THEY ARE, YOU HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN JUST A WRONG NUMBER.
twigcollins: Dude I have totally been there. When I worked at junk mail for the auto dealerships, we were one number off for Medicaid. 80 year old guys would be trying to give me their social security number.
me: "SIR, THIS IS A BAD IDEA. WORSE THAN YOU KNOW."
ThorneScratch: Good thing you are a good person.
twigcollins: I am a lazy person, which generally amounts to the same thing.
ThorneScratch: Too lazy for social security scams.
twigcollins: Crime is hard. I'd fuck it up somehow.
ThorneScratch: It's because you always forget and use the midget cannon. I have told you, that is not our most untraceable gun.
twigcollins: We just need to use less durable midgets.
ThorneScratch: Midget-shot. All scatter-shot.
twigcollins: You really need a good tag line with a midget gun. Like, to intone after you shoot.
ThorneScratch: I assume you inhale helium before you speak for maximum effect.
So, I had wanted to do the post-every-day-challenge for August that I did last year, but given all the projects and life crap I have going on right now, it just wasn't going to be feasible. I'll have to give it a go in October or something instead. In the meantime, I am back from Vegas with all the internal organs I went out there with, and in fact somehow won fifty dollars from video blackjack so I overall count the trip as a win. More on that later, and also probably Nationals, Pan Pac, a meme, Pale Sky, Scaly Dicks, fanfic backlog, more house buying hysteria, and what have you. And maybe watching either Inception or the new Sherlock, since 98% of my flist is reacting Beatlemania-ishly to both.
For the time being, have some links.
So, Shark Week has come and gone, much to my sadness. I always enjoy Shark Week; not only do I get to see-- well, sharks, but there are usually a lot of interesting accents going on and someone gets bitten in half. Good times. Shark Week is also a reliable jumpstarter to the scaly dick story again, which grew another fifteen pages. Stupid story.
Sharky Tea Infuser and Other Unusual Kitchen Gadgets. OMG, awesome! Just in time for Shark Week! As I told Ann, who sent me the link, I only wish they had one of those little hotdog octopuses sitting there on a plate as well.
Shark Yourself. Convert a picture of yourself into a shark. (I won't tell you what I did to a picture of Michael Phelps. It was his face, though, not any... other part of him.)
Students Test Dive Mechanical Dolphin Tails. I saw a feature on this earlier in the year, and man, I totally want one. Those researchers were hauling serious ass in the water. Maybe you could use them in the competitive swimming bodysuit controversy fight-- anyone who doesn't have a body suit is allowed to wear mechanical tails instead.
Custard-Like Liquid Armor Solidifies Instantly. A liquid armor has been shown to stop bullets in tests carried out by UK scientists at BAE systems in Bristol. The BAE scientists describe it as "bullet-proof custard".
Somewhere a dog barked. Pick up just about any novel and you'll find a throwaway reference to a dog, barking in the distance. Odd.
The Force is strong, and also well-dressed. Greg Peltz, best known for being the soldier half of this Team Fortress II cosplay team, has gone and created a small series of Victorian-looking Star Wars portraits. I love Chewie's monocle.
New Star Wars Art Mega Post. To be viewed in accompaniment with the above link. Damn, dude. I just. Damn. (Stormtrooper helmets make everything funnier.)
Consider saffron. I tend to consider saffron periodically in the grocery store, in the way of "Twenty bucks? I'm not paying that for a spice! ...I'll just steal some from my brother again." But the article is fascinating, and reminds you of just why the spice is so expensive. (I still steal from my brother, though. It's okay, he steals my extra toilet paper.)
The Candwich: A Sandwich in a Can. Exactly what the title says. The Onion Av Club tried this in a taste test. Absolutely horrifying.
Fast Food Oddities. "Do I have $3.49 and a death wish?" Oh God, just looking at these things makes my cholesterol scream.
Swimming Naked With 500 Watermelons in the Dead Sea. An old link and story, but I find the visual so oddly delightful, that I wanted to revisit it.
See Every Adorable O-Face From The World Cup. The World Cup may be gone again, but you can relive all the silly dances and delighted expressions and abundant displays of manlove that it brought to us.
Zombies And Giant Squid: Summer's Monster Hits!. Summer reading that is NOT about vampires, but still covers the fantastic. Also includes, "Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion" and my very first reaction was to check and see if it was m_steelgrave writing under a pseudonym. I read the first couple chapters while standing around in a Borders store, and it's actually rather funny. John turning Paul into a zombie is like the creepiest love story ever. Morgan, I tentatively recommend it to you.
OMFG: You Won't Believe What "The Wine Rack" Does. Um. Well. You know those hats you can wear? That have places to stick your beer cans and tubes to drink from? And those backpacks you can take on hiking trips, filled with water, and again with the tubes? Well, this is essentially the same thing. Only for your boobs. And filled with wine. The inflatable wine-carrying bra, for those critical times when you have to be both drunk and have a rack that won't quit.
One of the more useful things I ever learned was how to cure hiccups on myself. This requires a cup of water, a straw, two hands, and a certain willingness to sacrifice dignity. Pop the straw in the water, plug your ears with your forefingers while simultaneously pinching your nostrils shut with your thumbs, latch onto the straw and drink the cup of water. Works every time for me. If you have an understanding friend, you can have them plug your ears while you hold your nose; this removes the need for the straw.
I mention this solely because I want you to have a clear mental image of what I was doing about five minutes ago.
ThorneScratch: Just bear with me. This week I think will be a bad one. But, if I just keep my head down and force through, maybe it'll come out okay.
twigcollins: Like giving birth. Claw your way out of the womb of mediocrity. Like in Alien! Wait.
ThorneScratch: Wait, this metaphor...
twigcollins: XD
ThorneScratch: Dude.
twigcollins: Something's gone off.
ThorneScratch: That was a Zack metaphor.
Sephiroth: This is why you can't have nice things
Though in all honesty, neither of them are any good at pep talks. Sephiroth gives the "do better than you are currently doing" talk type. Zack uses bizarre metaphors. And Tseng is just, "Do this right or I'll shoot you, Reno."
twigcollins: The Reno addition is automatic, whether or not he's in the same time zone. It's a verbal tic he developed.
ThorneScratch: Exactly. Reno can even sense it from a distance.
Reno: Shit
Barwench: ?
Reno: Gonna get shot later today.
Reno: Meh. Bottoms up.
twigcollins: Reno: Want to be my last memory?
Which is entirely untrue. His last memory will be about beer nuts.
ThorneScratch: And victory. Reno is totally happy being Reno, which is good, because no one else wants to be Reno.
Elena: God, can you imagine the overhead in trips to the STD clinic alone?
Reno: I don't cure 'em anymore. I just let them fight it out amongst themselves.
twigcollins: It's an equilibrium. The constant battle is the only thing keeping him alive. Ironically, it also makes him unkillable. He's not as much a person as one of those living molds.
ThorneScratch: Little pods of Renos dropping off everywhere. An infestation in Shinra.
Rufus: We'll have to raze it to the ground and then salt the earth.
twigcollins: The Sister Ray: originally designed as a Reno-containment device.
ThorneScratch: "We're gonna need a bigger gun."
twigcollins: "Does this thing have a Febreze attachment?"
***
ThorneScratch: I swear to God, 75% of the phone calls I get on my office line are people looking for this unrelated colonoscopy clinic ten miles away, which is one digit off my number. And when I tell them they have the wrong number, they just cannot understand. "But you're also a medical office!" YOUR COLON AND HEART ARE NOT THE SAME THING. IF THEY ARE, YOU HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS THAN JUST A WRONG NUMBER.
twigcollins: Dude I have totally been there. When I worked at junk mail for the auto dealerships, we were one number off for Medicaid. 80 year old guys would be trying to give me their social security number.
me: "SIR, THIS IS A BAD IDEA. WORSE THAN YOU KNOW."
ThorneScratch: Good thing you are a good person.
twigcollins: I am a lazy person, which generally amounts to the same thing.
ThorneScratch: Too lazy for social security scams.
twigcollins: Crime is hard. I'd fuck it up somehow.
ThorneScratch: It's because you always forget and use the midget cannon. I have told you, that is not our most untraceable gun.
twigcollins: We just need to use less durable midgets.
ThorneScratch: Midget-shot. All scatter-shot.
twigcollins: You really need a good tag line with a midget gun. Like, to intone after you shoot.
ThorneScratch: I assume you inhale helium before you speak for maximum effect.