And I'm breaking out, escaping now
I haven't posted for the last week because I am sort of weird and paranoid and didn't want to jinx anything. But now the swimming is over, and I can start blathering all over again, as well as staring uneasily at the scaly dicks story, now at twenty pages and still growing. But first, two polls.
Poll one! I've been trying to get together a masterlist of everything I've written, and all the current WsIP. I think I've finally got everything sorted, but now I'm not sure about where to put the damn thing. A lot of the folks I know date it forward, so that it's always the most current livejournal entry; other folks backdate it so that it's the last entry. And I've seen other people just post it, and then put a link up in memories! Does anyone have a preference on this?
Poll Masterlist entries
Poll two! See, when the Athens Olympics were going on, I had all these half-written things lying around on my hard drive, but I was always too lazy to put any of them out there. Most of them are crap, so that's no great loss, but there are a few bits that I think would be fun to finish or could be cannibalized for scrap. But now, I kind of don't know what to do about one in particular. Update it for Beijing, or leave it as Athens? For the record, it's about sex while tied up with medals, because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Poll Medal bondage, for fun and profit
All opinions appreciated. Now, some regular squealing and freaking out.
-Michael. Michael. Oh Michael, you did it, and I was cheering for you, and you're the reason I've gotten no sleep for the past week. I thank you for making my brain a hotbed of insane panting lust and admiration. Please to be staying on my TV for as long as possible. I'll buy your DVD!
I kind of wish Michael Phelps hadn’t cut his hair short, because I think he looks better when it's longer, but at least the facial scruff was righteously eliminated.
Twig said to me that she thought he was going to go shake down some gymnasts and take their medals too. And then he would sit on them like a dragon. At first I thought she meant he would sit on the gymnasts, and I thought, "well, even I could do that; those are tiny little guys." Then I realized she meant the medals, and I laughed even harder, because that will be my image of the Games forever. (Brendan Hansen says all the medals hanging up his room are like a windchime. Now all I can see is Ryan Lochte accidentally walking into them in the middle of the night and swearing, as he and Michael are rooming together.)
-Jason Lezak, congratulations, you are the baddest ass ever. You would totally win the Badass Games, and you deserve, like, blowjobs from the entire world.
-Holy fuck, the men's 4x100m free relay! I mean, holy fuck. The French team is extremely hot, incidentally, though you'd think they'd have learned that you should never say you're going to smash another team in a relay. Did you learn nothing from what happened in Sydney when Gary Hall Jr. bragged about doing the same thing about the Australians?
-Alain Bernard reminds me of Ian Thorpe, a bit. More in looks rather than in temperament; I think it's the build and the nose and the hair. I'm kind of surprised he's not getting more written about him-- I mean, his nickname is "The Horse." The Horse. Run with that, people! Run until you can't see where you're going anymore! (Or at least, until you get to the grudgefucking 400m free relay team orgy.)
-The commercials haven't been so bad so far, although my God I am tired of that fucking McDonald's "perfect chicken sandwich" commercial. I'm not sure why I keep laughing at the Yao Ming and LeBron James Coke commercial; I guess it is because I have never seen a cowboy fight a dragon, or Santa Claus throw down against a panda bear before.
-I still love you, Katie Hoff! Don't get discouraged! Although now I kind of want to see something where she and Kate Ziegler hang out in her room during the women's 800m free, eat chocolate, and bitch about both the race and the Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl" song. Then, make-outs.
-On the same note, I want to make out with Natalie Coughlin so badly. And she cooks! Too bad she has a fiancé.
-Dara Torres is also on my list. I kind of put her in the same place as Jason Lezak, where I want the whole world to bow down for her. And, I mean, did you see her sportsmanship in the 50m free semi, where she went out of her way to talk to the officials and delay the race so the girl whose suit ripped wouldn't get left out? Awesome.
-Man, I felt bad about Brendan Hansen, but at least he was gracious and classy about his loss. And he did a sufficient job at the relay, though he wasn't on his A-game. I'm hoping he comes back from this, although at his age, it'll be a tough slog for the next Olympics. The again, see Jason Lezak and Dara Torres, so there's hope yet. Also, Brendan remains one of the few male Olympians who have never horrified me with an unexpected haircut/style or ugly facial hair. I like that about him.
-Speaking of hair. I miss Aaron Peirsol's old curly hair, back when he let it grow long; I suspect Ryan Lochte of stealing the style from him and absorbing Sampson-like powers. Still, both his races were awesome to watch, and while it would have been cool to see him defend both golds, I'm totally glad Ryan got the gold for the other backstroke race. He looked so thrilled. And he's kind of been the breakout new star.
-Ian Crocker. Oh Ian, I was cheering for you. You're still one of the nicest guys on the team, and "Come On" is still high on my mp3 player list. For all the rival pushing, I feel like he kinda got overlooked this entire time. There was some interview on where he was talking about how he brought his guitar to Beijing, and he just sits around in his room and jams.
-Again with the heart-stopping relays, man. The medley relay had me biting my nails ahead of time, but it was still cool. It feels weird not to watch the Texas Trio swimming it, but I'm totally happy with watching Michael jump around with Aaron and Brendan and Jason.
-I was cheering for Grant Hackett to get a third gold in the 1500m free, but alas, it was not to be. Still, as he won the gold in Athens on a goddamn collapsed lung, he can safely claim to still be one of the most hardcore guys around. I'm kind of glad he didn't shave his head this time; he is sort of scary when he sports the baldness.
-I've been kind of hoping Ian Thorpe would do or say something interesting during these Games, but nothing so far. It's been fun, waiting for the cameras to try and find him during some of the swimming events, usually the Phelps ones; in both cases, they zoomed in on him a couple minutes after the race was over. It's just that he wasn't doing anything. As I recall, he, uh, wiped sweat from his face and posed for a picture with a fan. Fascinating.
Wait, I take it back; apparently he was sitting in front of Debbie Phelps for the medley relay, and they hugged and kissed after the race. (Starts at 4:15 in the vid). I guess that will qualify as doing something. That's nice. (And a little hilarious. Oh shit, Michael, Ian Thorpe is gonna be your new daddy.)
Thorpe did come to the Speedo party as well, dressed to the nines in a suit no less, so. Uh, party on, Thorpe.
-The Speedo Party! Oh man, so many possibilities there. I'll be disappointed if someone doesn't jump on that.
Some fun links:
The condoms of champions: Some advertising images using condoms and game events and… it's kind of hard to describe.
A Chinese condom company called Elasun has caught the Olympic spirit with an ad campaign that makes condoms into cute little references to Olympic sports. Because "Sports make you health"!
Which Olympians could be Anna Wintour's new arm candy?: Hilarious. Goddamn, I love the Fug Girls.
Ryan Lochte, swimming: Thanks to NBC’s daytime Olympics coverage, we recently learned that the U.S. swim team's second-hottest medalist does not shy away from excessive bling, including a faux grill he sports for laughs. Imagine the good times he and Anna could have in Vogue’s accessories closet.
Phil Dalhausser, beach volleyball: While we don’t doubt Anna is capable of staring down André Leon Talley all by herself, surely sometimes she wishes she didn’t have to stand on a chair to do it. And that’s where a six-foot-nine boyfriend could help. Plus, we’d be interested to see how A-Dubs handles dating someone who has to shop at the Big and Tall store.
Michael Phelps, swimming: An obvious choice, but also the most likely. The only thing tougher to argue with than Phelps's dominance is the glory of Phelps's abs. He's cute, he's well-spoken, and with that swim schedule, he's clearly not a commitment-phobe. Anna and Bee may come to blows over this one, but as long as he keeps wearing his aquatic tighties, we'll be fine with either outcome.
U.S. Olympic Training Features A New Requirement: Etiquette 101: Bode Miller and Other Embarrassments Prompt Course on Booze, Hugs and Chopsticks. Hee hee. Oh man. Just, just read.
The U.S. Olympic Committee, for the first time ever, is requiring all of its 596 Olympians to attend this course prior to traveling to Beijing. The committee has dubbed it the "ambassador program."
Some athletes have another name for it: the Bode Miller show.
"The USOC isn't calling it that, but everyone knows what this is about," says Eli Bremer, who will be competing for the U.S. in the modern pentathlon…
…At times, the room took on the look of a college lecture hall. In the third row, swimmer Michael Phelps, the superstar who is vying for a record eight gold medals in Beijing, ate steadily from a bag of candy, his long limbs stretched over three chairs. Nearby sat Ryan Lochte, another top U.S. swimmer, thumbing text messages into his cellphone.
Ms. Pan passed out chopsticks to the entire group for a lesson on how to use them. Mr. Phelps took his and began jabbing a coach sitting nearby.
Speaking with Ryan Lochte: Interview questions.
What was going through your head when you had the gold medal around your neck and the national them was playing?
Well, my experience was kind of funny ‘cause my friend, the gold medal was in the relay and I was right next to Michael Phelps, and while the national anthem was being played Michael Phelps was next to me and he was singing. And he was singing like a girl and I couldn't stop laughing and so the whole time I was laughing. I don't know, it's just something I'll never forget.
Did you tease him about that later?
Yeah, when we were walking down, like where you take pictures and everything, I was kind of making fun of him.
Anyway, let's do a celebratory drabble request meme!
Standard drill-- anything I write, squeal over, or have in my lj comms and interests is open, though I reserve all rights to try and weasel around any pairing or request that totally stumps me. Length and time of delivery may vary wildly. Go nuts.
Poll one! I've been trying to get together a masterlist of everything I've written, and all the current WsIP. I think I've finally got everything sorted, but now I'm not sure about where to put the damn thing. A lot of the folks I know date it forward, so that it's always the most current livejournal entry; other folks backdate it so that it's the last entry. And I've seen other people just post it, and then put a link up in memories! Does anyone have a preference on this?
Poll Masterlist entries
Poll two! See, when the Athens Olympics were going on, I had all these half-written things lying around on my hard drive, but I was always too lazy to put any of them out there. Most of them are crap, so that's no great loss, but there are a few bits that I think would be fun to finish or could be cannibalized for scrap. But now, I kind of don't know what to do about one in particular. Update it for Beijing, or leave it as Athens? For the record, it's about sex while tied up with medals, because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Poll Medal bondage, for fun and profit
All opinions appreciated. Now, some regular squealing and freaking out.
-Michael. Michael. Oh Michael, you did it, and I was cheering for you, and you're the reason I've gotten no sleep for the past week. I thank you for making my brain a hotbed of insane panting lust and admiration. Please to be staying on my TV for as long as possible. I'll buy your DVD!
I kind of wish Michael Phelps hadn’t cut his hair short, because I think he looks better when it's longer, but at least the facial scruff was righteously eliminated.
Twig said to me that she thought he was going to go shake down some gymnasts and take their medals too. And then he would sit on them like a dragon. At first I thought she meant he would sit on the gymnasts, and I thought, "well, even I could do that; those are tiny little guys." Then I realized she meant the medals, and I laughed even harder, because that will be my image of the Games forever. (Brendan Hansen says all the medals hanging up his room are like a windchime. Now all I can see is Ryan Lochte accidentally walking into them in the middle of the night and swearing, as he and Michael are rooming together.)
-Jason Lezak, congratulations, you are the baddest ass ever. You would totally win the Badass Games, and you deserve, like, blowjobs from the entire world.
-Holy fuck, the men's 4x100m free relay! I mean, holy fuck. The French team is extremely hot, incidentally, though you'd think they'd have learned that you should never say you're going to smash another team in a relay. Did you learn nothing from what happened in Sydney when Gary Hall Jr. bragged about doing the same thing about the Australians?
-Alain Bernard reminds me of Ian Thorpe, a bit. More in looks rather than in temperament; I think it's the build and the nose and the hair. I'm kind of surprised he's not getting more written about him-- I mean, his nickname is "The Horse." The Horse. Run with that, people! Run until you can't see where you're going anymore! (Or at least, until you get to the grudgefucking 400m free relay team orgy.)
-The commercials haven't been so bad so far, although my God I am tired of that fucking McDonald's "perfect chicken sandwich" commercial. I'm not sure why I keep laughing at the Yao Ming and LeBron James Coke commercial; I guess it is because I have never seen a cowboy fight a dragon, or Santa Claus throw down against a panda bear before.
-I still love you, Katie Hoff! Don't get discouraged! Although now I kind of want to see something where she and Kate Ziegler hang out in her room during the women's 800m free, eat chocolate, and bitch about both the race and the Katy Perry "I Kissed a Girl" song. Then, make-outs.
-On the same note, I want to make out with Natalie Coughlin so badly. And she cooks! Too bad she has a fiancé.
-Dara Torres is also on my list. I kind of put her in the same place as Jason Lezak, where I want the whole world to bow down for her. And, I mean, did you see her sportsmanship in the 50m free semi, where she went out of her way to talk to the officials and delay the race so the girl whose suit ripped wouldn't get left out? Awesome.
-Man, I felt bad about Brendan Hansen, but at least he was gracious and classy about his loss. And he did a sufficient job at the relay, though he wasn't on his A-game. I'm hoping he comes back from this, although at his age, it'll be a tough slog for the next Olympics. The again, see Jason Lezak and Dara Torres, so there's hope yet. Also, Brendan remains one of the few male Olympians who have never horrified me with an unexpected haircut/style or ugly facial hair. I like that about him.
-Speaking of hair. I miss Aaron Peirsol's old curly hair, back when he let it grow long; I suspect Ryan Lochte of stealing the style from him and absorbing Sampson-like powers. Still, both his races were awesome to watch, and while it would have been cool to see him defend both golds, I'm totally glad Ryan got the gold for the other backstroke race. He looked so thrilled. And he's kind of been the breakout new star.
-Ian Crocker. Oh Ian, I was cheering for you. You're still one of the nicest guys on the team, and "Come On" is still high on my mp3 player list. For all the rival pushing, I feel like he kinda got overlooked this entire time. There was some interview on where he was talking about how he brought his guitar to Beijing, and he just sits around in his room and jams.
-Again with the heart-stopping relays, man. The medley relay had me biting my nails ahead of time, but it was still cool. It feels weird not to watch the Texas Trio swimming it, but I'm totally happy with watching Michael jump around with Aaron and Brendan and Jason.
-I was cheering for Grant Hackett to get a third gold in the 1500m free, but alas, it was not to be. Still, as he won the gold in Athens on a goddamn collapsed lung, he can safely claim to still be one of the most hardcore guys around. I'm kind of glad he didn't shave his head this time; he is sort of scary when he sports the baldness.
-I've been kind of hoping Ian Thorpe would do or say something interesting during these Games, but nothing so far. It's been fun, waiting for the cameras to try and find him during some of the swimming events, usually the Phelps ones; in both cases, they zoomed in on him a couple minutes after the race was over. It's just that he wasn't doing anything. As I recall, he, uh, wiped sweat from his face and posed for a picture with a fan. Fascinating.
Wait, I take it back; apparently he was sitting in front of Debbie Phelps for the medley relay, and they hugged and kissed after the race. (Starts at 4:15 in the vid). I guess that will qualify as doing something. That's nice. (And a little hilarious. Oh shit, Michael, Ian Thorpe is gonna be your new daddy.)
Thorpe did come to the Speedo party as well, dressed to the nines in a suit no less, so. Uh, party on, Thorpe.
-The Speedo Party! Oh man, so many possibilities there. I'll be disappointed if someone doesn't jump on that.
Some fun links:
The condoms of champions: Some advertising images using condoms and game events and… it's kind of hard to describe.
A Chinese condom company called Elasun has caught the Olympic spirit with an ad campaign that makes condoms into cute little references to Olympic sports. Because "Sports make you health"!
Which Olympians could be Anna Wintour's new arm candy?: Hilarious. Goddamn, I love the Fug Girls.
Ryan Lochte, swimming: Thanks to NBC’s daytime Olympics coverage, we recently learned that the U.S. swim team's second-hottest medalist does not shy away from excessive bling, including a faux grill he sports for laughs. Imagine the good times he and Anna could have in Vogue’s accessories closet.
Phil Dalhausser, beach volleyball: While we don’t doubt Anna is capable of staring down André Leon Talley all by herself, surely sometimes she wishes she didn’t have to stand on a chair to do it. And that’s where a six-foot-nine boyfriend could help. Plus, we’d be interested to see how A-Dubs handles dating someone who has to shop at the Big and Tall store.
Michael Phelps, swimming: An obvious choice, but also the most likely. The only thing tougher to argue with than Phelps's dominance is the glory of Phelps's abs. He's cute, he's well-spoken, and with that swim schedule, he's clearly not a commitment-phobe. Anna and Bee may come to blows over this one, but as long as he keeps wearing his aquatic tighties, we'll be fine with either outcome.
U.S. Olympic Training Features A New Requirement: Etiquette 101: Bode Miller and Other Embarrassments Prompt Course on Booze, Hugs and Chopsticks. Hee hee. Oh man. Just, just read.
The U.S. Olympic Committee, for the first time ever, is requiring all of its 596 Olympians to attend this course prior to traveling to Beijing. The committee has dubbed it the "ambassador program."
Some athletes have another name for it: the Bode Miller show.
"The USOC isn't calling it that, but everyone knows what this is about," says Eli Bremer, who will be competing for the U.S. in the modern pentathlon…
…At times, the room took on the look of a college lecture hall. In the third row, swimmer Michael Phelps, the superstar who is vying for a record eight gold medals in Beijing, ate steadily from a bag of candy, his long limbs stretched over three chairs. Nearby sat Ryan Lochte, another top U.S. swimmer, thumbing text messages into his cellphone.
Ms. Pan passed out chopsticks to the entire group for a lesson on how to use them. Mr. Phelps took his and began jabbing a coach sitting nearby.
Speaking with Ryan Lochte: Interview questions.
What was going through your head when you had the gold medal around your neck and the national them was playing?
Well, my experience was kind of funny ‘cause my friend, the gold medal was in the relay and I was right next to Michael Phelps, and while the national anthem was being played Michael Phelps was next to me and he was singing. And he was singing like a girl and I couldn't stop laughing and so the whole time I was laughing. I don't know, it's just something I'll never forget.
Did you tease him about that later?
Yeah, when we were walking down, like where you take pictures and everything, I was kind of making fun of him.
Anyway, let's do a celebratory drabble request meme!
Standard drill-- anything I write, squeal over, or have in my lj comms and interests is open, though I reserve all rights to try and weasel around any pairing or request that totally stumps me. Length and time of delivery may vary wildly. Go nuts.