work it harder, make it better, do it faster, makes us stronger
Man, the last two weeks have kind of been disaster-magnets. Instead of recounting them, I would like to tell a story from when I was in San Diego three weeks ago (the full account of which is still going to show up here at some point. Just to warn you, in case you want to flee now.)
The last leg of my trip home from San Diego, I was connecting from Los Angeles to Denver, having a layover, and then flying from Denver to Baltimore. And when I got to the boarding area to wait out the layover, I realized I was on a flight with these four men who looked monk-like, in a non-specific way. And by non-specifically monk-like, I mean that they were wearing robes and the sandals, three of them were bald, they sat in lotus positions on the waiting area chairs, and all of them projected a quiet aura of zen and serenity. They did have nice luggage, though.
And one of them was, judging from appearances, pregnant.
I was sitting across from them in the pre-boarding area and trying not to stare too hard. In reality, he was probably just a bit rotund, or perhaps he had a glandular problem. But a pregnant belly looks different from just a heavy belly, you know? The heavy belly tends to sag and hang downwards and has a different shape. The pregnant belly (at least before it drops during the last month of the pregnancy) is rounder, and sticks straight out, and that was the type he had. And he had the mannerisms down pat. He walked like a pregnant woman, rested his hands on his belly like one, wore robes that looked a lot like maternity clothes, and generally made me wonder if he was carrying the next Dalai Lama or something inside.
In fact, the longer I watched them, the more I started imagining this whole history and backstory for them in my head, filling out details of the quest they must surely be on-- the party was made up of a young and slender monk, a big and muscular monk, another almost-as-big monk, and a tiny elderly monk. (I assumed the tiny elderly one was the leader because he was the only one who got to wear a yellow sash.) In fact, they bore a striking resemblance to your typical initial anime or RPG Adventure Party-- the wise old mentor, the pretty-boy hero, the big bodyguard, and other not-quite-as-big warrior. I assume they will be picking up some other party members as they travel on.
It was inspiring-- these three brave monks, escorting their pregnant brother to a top medical facility in America for his imminent labor. They had come a long way, leaving their small order in a far off country in order to travel here (and were, for some reason, connecting in Denver). Back home, the remaining brothers were chanting prayers for their safety and success in some ancient temple, a constant litany of hope and praise. The order, you see, was dwindling in number, but the prophecy had been spoken long ago to proclaim that their founder would eventually return to them, reborn. For centuries now, they had all been praying for the reincarnation of their temple's founder to come back, to fulfill a glorious destiny…
And lo, in this year of 2007, the mystical rite of mpreg came to pass, and oddly enough, it didn't happen to the slim, girly-looking monk who was in the party, but to the big muscular monk with the beard. That's sort of a deviation from the norm of mpreg, but hey, anything to bring back the leader, right?
Of course, this also makes me think that the mpreg is why the brotherhood has been dwindling. That might be a tough sell when you're campaigning for prospective new members
HEAD MONK: …and to our right is our herb garden. There's the bell-tower that calls us to prayer. That's the stables, down there and to the left. Feel free to ask any questions.
ACOLYTE: Could you describe the lifestyle?
HEAD MONK: Well, you wear these robes. You will have to subsist on a simple vegetarian diet, and start the day at sunrise. All of us must work to keep the order going, whether it's outside in the garden or inside scrubbing the temple floors. You will have very little technological contact with the outside world. You'll have several hours of the day set aside for prayer and meditation. We strive for a simple existence, focusing on peace, serenity, and humility.
ACOLYTE: Sounds great! I'm in!
HEAD MONK: And you might get pregnant, in accordance with the prophecy.
ACOLYTE: Wait, what?
HEAD MONK: *brightly* And over here are our world-renowned meditation cells!
Good times. Alas, I was but a NPC in their monk adventure. But it did help me pass a pleasurable hour during my layover, designing their life stories.
I don't know how celibacy would work into the lifestyle of the brotherhood. I suppose you could have a religious brotherhood of monks who practice bizarre sexual hijinks as a meditation form, instead of martial arts or something, and that results in the pregnancy and coming of the chosen one. The Japanese would get behind it; I mean, there's probably already a manga out there to that effect.
But I like the idea that the dude just woke up pregnant the next day after evening prayers. Life is hilariously cruel.
The last leg of my trip home from San Diego, I was connecting from Los Angeles to Denver, having a layover, and then flying from Denver to Baltimore. And when I got to the boarding area to wait out the layover, I realized I was on a flight with these four men who looked monk-like, in a non-specific way. And by non-specifically monk-like, I mean that they were wearing robes and the sandals, three of them were bald, they sat in lotus positions on the waiting area chairs, and all of them projected a quiet aura of zen and serenity. They did have nice luggage, though.
And one of them was, judging from appearances, pregnant.
I was sitting across from them in the pre-boarding area and trying not to stare too hard. In reality, he was probably just a bit rotund, or perhaps he had a glandular problem. But a pregnant belly looks different from just a heavy belly, you know? The heavy belly tends to sag and hang downwards and has a different shape. The pregnant belly (at least before it drops during the last month of the pregnancy) is rounder, and sticks straight out, and that was the type he had. And he had the mannerisms down pat. He walked like a pregnant woman, rested his hands on his belly like one, wore robes that looked a lot like maternity clothes, and generally made me wonder if he was carrying the next Dalai Lama or something inside.
In fact, the longer I watched them, the more I started imagining this whole history and backstory for them in my head, filling out details of the quest they must surely be on-- the party was made up of a young and slender monk, a big and muscular monk, another almost-as-big monk, and a tiny elderly monk. (I assumed the tiny elderly one was the leader because he was the only one who got to wear a yellow sash.) In fact, they bore a striking resemblance to your typical initial anime or RPG Adventure Party-- the wise old mentor, the pretty-boy hero, the big bodyguard, and other not-quite-as-big warrior. I assume they will be picking up some other party members as they travel on.
It was inspiring-- these three brave monks, escorting their pregnant brother to a top medical facility in America for his imminent labor. They had come a long way, leaving their small order in a far off country in order to travel here (and were, for some reason, connecting in Denver). Back home, the remaining brothers were chanting prayers for their safety and success in some ancient temple, a constant litany of hope and praise. The order, you see, was dwindling in number, but the prophecy had been spoken long ago to proclaim that their founder would eventually return to them, reborn. For centuries now, they had all been praying for the reincarnation of their temple's founder to come back, to fulfill a glorious destiny…
And lo, in this year of 2007, the mystical rite of mpreg came to pass, and oddly enough, it didn't happen to the slim, girly-looking monk who was in the party, but to the big muscular monk with the beard. That's sort of a deviation from the norm of mpreg, but hey, anything to bring back the leader, right?
Of course, this also makes me think that the mpreg is why the brotherhood has been dwindling. That might be a tough sell when you're campaigning for prospective new members
HEAD MONK: …and to our right is our herb garden. There's the bell-tower that calls us to prayer. That's the stables, down there and to the left. Feel free to ask any questions.
ACOLYTE: Could you describe the lifestyle?
HEAD MONK: Well, you wear these robes. You will have to subsist on a simple vegetarian diet, and start the day at sunrise. All of us must work to keep the order going, whether it's outside in the garden or inside scrubbing the temple floors. You will have very little technological contact with the outside world. You'll have several hours of the day set aside for prayer and meditation. We strive for a simple existence, focusing on peace, serenity, and humility.
ACOLYTE: Sounds great! I'm in!
HEAD MONK: And you might get pregnant, in accordance with the prophecy.
ACOLYTE: Wait, what?
HEAD MONK: *brightly* And over here are our world-renowned meditation cells!
Good times. Alas, I was but a NPC in their monk adventure. But it did help me pass a pleasurable hour during my layover, designing their life stories.
I don't know how celibacy would work into the lifestyle of the brotherhood. I suppose you could have a religious brotherhood of monks who practice bizarre sexual hijinks as a meditation form, instead of martial arts or something, and that results in the pregnancy and coming of the chosen one. The Japanese would get behind it; I mean, there's probably already a manga out there to that effect.
But I like the idea that the dude just woke up pregnant the next day after evening prayers. Life is hilariously cruel.