Close to the edge

[thornae]

There's a part of me that's getting on with things, doing day-to-day stuff, living what is left of my life...
That's what people are seeing. Good work, keep it up, it'll get better.

That part is a shell.

Inside, the rest of me is closer to the abyss than ever. There's no hope left, no future I want.
All the things that once brought me joy are now spiked with pain.

I really don't know if I can hold it together much longer.
I don't have any reserves left.

Right now, I'm going away for a week.

I'll carry on through that, as well as I can, but...
when I come back - if I come back - it might not be for long.

Everyone keeps telling me they're sorry.
It doesn't change anything or make anything better.

But, in case I don't get back to this later;
in case the abyss turns out to be even closer than I thought...

I'm sorry.