The Email: I feel strangely cleansed...
I just wrote an email to Arthur and realised there was so much more in it than my stoopid lazy, LJ posts. So I have duplicated it for your reading pleasure! It is much nonsense, as usual, but explains where I have been for the last 4 weeks, which is more than I can do in speech so, enjoy...
Arthur!
You should have come with me to America then we could have got married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas and began a life of international crime as the illustrious Savile-Thornbacks!
A huge opportunity has been missed, I think you will agree...
As this email suggests (albeit in the abstract) that I went to America, sans you, and it was awesome. People were grumpy as hell in New York. Worse than Pixie. But I could see there was fun-ness to be had, just not by me at that time.
Next stop was LA for a one night stop over at the world reknowned Backpackers Paradise Hostel. Primely located in the ghetto beside LAX it was actually really funny! I met some guys from Kentucky who were total cartoons character versions of their people. Watching them communicate, or attempt to, with two girls from Devon (who strangely appeared to be interested in communicating back, go figure?) was a true study in intercultural intercourse. Thankfully, not of the physical kind.
I flew to San Francisco the next day and set up in a seemingly cosy hostel only to find that the general vibe was somewhere between Austin Powers and a Carry On film. There was an inordinate amount of bottom pincing going on (none of which perpetrated by my good self, but liberally by my fellow country-women)and many unauthorised smooching attempts. And that was just the first night! I won't elaborate but to say that I kissed more people in San Francisco than I did in the whole time I was in London. The city itself is very fun and shiny, with a really nice friendly vibe to it. There are about a billion street people which I later found out was because a while back the Los Angeles council stuffed up and paid it's homeless much more than their entitlement for a time. A huge number of them up and moved to San Fran where they have been ever since. Accidently on purpose perhaps? One can only speculate...
I tried to fly out of San Francisco only to find the airline had lost my entire booking! I was very tired and over the whole thing by this stage so just asked where I could get a sandwich and trudged back into town. I stayed another night then found a mini bus that would drive me the distance for $45 which is a very good price. Several of the hostel staff tried to convince me to stay and work in San Francisco which I almost did, but for the fact that my mother would have died if I had said I was going to come back a month later after surprising her by saying I would be a month early.
Jumped on the bus and fell asleep only to wake up to find myself at one of those petrol stations at the end of the universe. It was on this plane between San Francisco and Los Angeles where aside from a few crops there was nothing but the petrol station from horizon to horizon. We switched vans there (I was travelling with a couple of amazingly not talkative Danish guys) and carried on to Los Angeles. I think only I notice the extra bag that was exchanged between the two drivers with identical vans. I had wondered how the fare could be so small!
Fell asleep again to find myself driving through a wasteland of dark sand dunes with low lying, almost purple scrub. It was a desolate place and hard to imagine that Los Angeles, a city of 14 million, lay just 20 minutes away. We came off the freeway and were in Hollywood in minutes as is the freaky way of LA. The hostel was on the block between Hollywood Bld and Sunset Bld, on the slightly dodgier, tattoo parlour end of the street. The pavement stars began at the corner of our street and the Grauman's Chinese Theatre was a five minute walk away.
I slipped out to grab a sandwich and have a nose around. I made it down to the Chinese theatre and took a look at the Hollywood sign through the framed courtyard of an uber shopping centre. It seemed fitting. I pottered back to my part of town to meet my fellow hostel goers, the first person I met being Anna. Anna was a 'dancer' who had just moved up from Vegas back to LA where she told me she had lived for 7 years. She said she left Vegas so fast she left half of her stuff behind. There was clearly a lot more to this story but I let it lie. We went downstairs to get some of the bbq and I got talking to a guy called Jesus with a mohawk. He gave me this can of insanely strong energy drink/beer hybrid that sent my head spinning and put me to sleep. The next day I went on a walking tour of Beverly Hills and Belair and was convinced to go on a limo ride that evening with some very bad influence girls from the North of England! So I signed up and several bottles of pink champagne later (oh, the sophistication!) was in a bar with a wild west theme and one of those mechanical bulls in the centre. Thank goodness I barely had the capacity to stand, talk and walk as I think that bull was a very bad idea! About ten of us bundled into a normal size taxi and headed back to the hostel bar for drinks. I saw this very dark eyed guy sitting Aragorn-style at the side of the room. Heavy features and huge shoulders. I was a bit freaked out by him (maybe it was the champagne, who can tell?) but for some reason ended up talking to him for the rest of the night.
I met up with him again the next night in the hostel bar and cannot explain anything I did to him. I attempted to ignore him for atleast two hours while he attempted to kiss me and suddenly completely changed my mind. As it turned out he was the assistant manager at the hostel and actually extremely awesome. I haven't actually tried to not-seduce someone like that, possibly ever. Most fun I have had in years! Anna rolled in after work completely tanked to announce that her sister had been arrested for drug possession then proceeded to get into the beers. I went to bed and the next time I saw her she was still on the beers, at 11am the next morning out the front of the hostel.
I headed down to Santa Monica beach with some girls then got lost in the bus system of LA. There was a TV on the bus which would have assisted our 2 hour bus ride but for the fact everything was in Spanish, which we realised made sense as we were the only non-hispanic people in the bus. I later got talking to the lady in front and she said the hold up was due to road blocks caused by the visiting President Bush. He always gets it right, ha?
Spent another I-love-you-I-hate-you-but-actually-I-totally-adore-you evening with my man at the hostel. Some how I managed to get him to take his shirt off without my having to (after the bar had shut and we were the only ones in it!). I have no idea how I swung that but I am very glad I did because...WOW!!!
It was already 4 in the morning and I needed to be up to catch my flight by six so I said goodnight. Completely didn't want to let him go actually, but that's always the way. The last night of a one and a half year life changing trip and you meet a person that breaks the stone table for you. Exhale : (
Got on my plane in a haze of sleepiness and intoxication. I always seem to see more of a city as I am leaving than I do when I am there. The flight back was uneventful and my cute parents were there to meet me when I arrived. They are so lovely and I have been so lucky.
So now you find be at home. Right back where I started a year and a half ago, hoping to god a don't forget a thing. Half petrified it will all disappear.
I have had the most unbelievable time. I can't quite believe that I am back.
I hope you are well and that the London ball continues to roll without me : ) Tell me everything that's going on with you and all the nutters that we know. Who has been slighted by Mister Darcy and who has been proposed to my Mister Wickham. Tell me stories (I don't care that they're lies!) of Gabriella and Henrietta's rise to fame as a burlesqe duo!
Keep well my lovely. As you might have guessed, you are the first person I have tried to write about America to. That was so cathartic, I almost need a cigarette! Miss you heaps and heaps. Please shake down your dad for cash for a trip to Australia soon,
Kate.
Arthur!
You should have come with me to America then we could have got married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas and began a life of international crime as the illustrious Savile-Thornbacks!
A huge opportunity has been missed, I think you will agree...
As this email suggests (albeit in the abstract) that I went to America, sans you, and it was awesome. People were grumpy as hell in New York. Worse than Pixie. But I could see there was fun-ness to be had, just not by me at that time.
Next stop was LA for a one night stop over at the world reknowned Backpackers Paradise Hostel. Primely located in the ghetto beside LAX it was actually really funny! I met some guys from Kentucky who were total cartoons character versions of their people. Watching them communicate, or attempt to, with two girls from Devon (who strangely appeared to be interested in communicating back, go figure?) was a true study in intercultural intercourse. Thankfully, not of the physical kind.
I flew to San Francisco the next day and set up in a seemingly cosy hostel only to find that the general vibe was somewhere between Austin Powers and a Carry On film. There was an inordinate amount of bottom pincing going on (none of which perpetrated by my good self, but liberally by my fellow country-women)and many unauthorised smooching attempts. And that was just the first night! I won't elaborate but to say that I kissed more people in San Francisco than I did in the whole time I was in London. The city itself is very fun and shiny, with a really nice friendly vibe to it. There are about a billion street people which I later found out was because a while back the Los Angeles council stuffed up and paid it's homeless much more than their entitlement for a time. A huge number of them up and moved to San Fran where they have been ever since. Accidently on purpose perhaps? One can only speculate...
I tried to fly out of San Francisco only to find the airline had lost my entire booking! I was very tired and over the whole thing by this stage so just asked where I could get a sandwich and trudged back into town. I stayed another night then found a mini bus that would drive me the distance for $45 which is a very good price. Several of the hostel staff tried to convince me to stay and work in San Francisco which I almost did, but for the fact that my mother would have died if I had said I was going to come back a month later after surprising her by saying I would be a month early.
Jumped on the bus and fell asleep only to wake up to find myself at one of those petrol stations at the end of the universe. It was on this plane between San Francisco and Los Angeles where aside from a few crops there was nothing but the petrol station from horizon to horizon. We switched vans there (I was travelling with a couple of amazingly not talkative Danish guys) and carried on to Los Angeles. I think only I notice the extra bag that was exchanged between the two drivers with identical vans. I had wondered how the fare could be so small!
Fell asleep again to find myself driving through a wasteland of dark sand dunes with low lying, almost purple scrub. It was a desolate place and hard to imagine that Los Angeles, a city of 14 million, lay just 20 minutes away. We came off the freeway and were in Hollywood in minutes as is the freaky way of LA. The hostel was on the block between Hollywood Bld and Sunset Bld, on the slightly dodgier, tattoo parlour end of the street. The pavement stars began at the corner of our street and the Grauman's Chinese Theatre was a five minute walk away.
I slipped out to grab a sandwich and have a nose around. I made it down to the Chinese theatre and took a look at the Hollywood sign through the framed courtyard of an uber shopping centre. It seemed fitting. I pottered back to my part of town to meet my fellow hostel goers, the first person I met being Anna. Anna was a 'dancer' who had just moved up from Vegas back to LA where she told me she had lived for 7 years. She said she left Vegas so fast she left half of her stuff behind. There was clearly a lot more to this story but I let it lie. We went downstairs to get some of the bbq and I got talking to a guy called Jesus with a mohawk. He gave me this can of insanely strong energy drink/beer hybrid that sent my head spinning and put me to sleep. The next day I went on a walking tour of Beverly Hills and Belair and was convinced to go on a limo ride that evening with some very bad influence girls from the North of England! So I signed up and several bottles of pink champagne later (oh, the sophistication!) was in a bar with a wild west theme and one of those mechanical bulls in the centre. Thank goodness I barely had the capacity to stand, talk and walk as I think that bull was a very bad idea! About ten of us bundled into a normal size taxi and headed back to the hostel bar for drinks. I saw this very dark eyed guy sitting Aragorn-style at the side of the room. Heavy features and huge shoulders. I was a bit freaked out by him (maybe it was the champagne, who can tell?) but for some reason ended up talking to him for the rest of the night.
I met up with him again the next night in the hostel bar and cannot explain anything I did to him. I attempted to ignore him for atleast two hours while he attempted to kiss me and suddenly completely changed my mind. As it turned out he was the assistant manager at the hostel and actually extremely awesome. I haven't actually tried to not-seduce someone like that, possibly ever. Most fun I have had in years! Anna rolled in after work completely tanked to announce that her sister had been arrested for drug possession then proceeded to get into the beers. I went to bed and the next time I saw her she was still on the beers, at 11am the next morning out the front of the hostel.
I headed down to Santa Monica beach with some girls then got lost in the bus system of LA. There was a TV on the bus which would have assisted our 2 hour bus ride but for the fact everything was in Spanish, which we realised made sense as we were the only non-hispanic people in the bus. I later got talking to the lady in front and she said the hold up was due to road blocks caused by the visiting President Bush. He always gets it right, ha?
Spent another I-love-you-I-hate-you-but-actually-I-totally-adore-you evening with my man at the hostel. Some how I managed to get him to take his shirt off without my having to (after the bar had shut and we were the only ones in it!). I have no idea how I swung that but I am very glad I did because...WOW!!!
It was already 4 in the morning and I needed to be up to catch my flight by six so I said goodnight. Completely didn't want to let him go actually, but that's always the way. The last night of a one and a half year life changing trip and you meet a person that breaks the stone table for you. Exhale : (
Got on my plane in a haze of sleepiness and intoxication. I always seem to see more of a city as I am leaving than I do when I am there. The flight back was uneventful and my cute parents were there to meet me when I arrived. They are so lovely and I have been so lucky.
So now you find be at home. Right back where I started a year and a half ago, hoping to god a don't forget a thing. Half petrified it will all disappear.
I have had the most unbelievable time. I can't quite believe that I am back.
I hope you are well and that the London ball continues to roll without me : ) Tell me everything that's going on with you and all the nutters that we know. Who has been slighted by Mister Darcy and who has been proposed to my Mister Wickham. Tell me stories (I don't care that they're lies!) of Gabriella and Henrietta's rise to fame as a burlesqe duo!
Keep well my lovely. As you might have guessed, you are the first person I have tried to write about America to. That was so cathartic, I almost need a cigarette! Miss you heaps and heaps. Please shake down your dad for cash for a trip to Australia soon,
Kate.