WHINE WHINE ANGST ANGST
My relationship with art sometimes feels like some sort of horrible, on-again-off-again, abusive relationship. God knows I love it to death and there are definitely good moments, but often times it just makes me feel horrible about myself when I really shouldn't.
I was actually feeling pretty awesome about my drawing there for a while, but recently something happened and I feel like my ability is actually regressing. It's... really frustrating. I keep fixating on how much I would have and should have improved if I'd actually practiced and studied and applied myself the way I should have all these years. Of course, I know that's really unhealthy. I should just focus on now. Le sigh. I am far too self-defeating.
What I probably should do is go back to the basics. I should go back to doing basic, beginning drawing exercises. I should practice coloring a lot in Photoshop where I can make lots of mistakes with a safety net and not screw myself over like in the very unforgiving Tegaki E. Number one, I need to loosen up and not be so tense and concerned when I'm doodling. Time and time again, most of my best stuff comes out when I simmer down and stop worrying.
Hopefully this semester I can join the art club at school. I know they arrange for open drawing sessions with live models. I think it'd do me a world of good. Not to mention I really enjoy life drawing and find it relaxing. I need to take a break from drawing from my head and spend more time drawing what's in front of me.
I was actually feeling pretty awesome about my drawing there for a while, but recently something happened and I feel like my ability is actually regressing. It's... really frustrating. I keep fixating on how much I would have and should have improved if I'd actually practiced and studied and applied myself the way I should have all these years. Of course, I know that's really unhealthy. I should just focus on now. Le sigh. I am far too self-defeating.
What I probably should do is go back to the basics. I should go back to doing basic, beginning drawing exercises. I should practice coloring a lot in Photoshop where I can make lots of mistakes with a safety net and not screw myself over like in the very unforgiving Tegaki E. Number one, I need to loosen up and not be so tense and concerned when I'm doodling. Time and time again, most of my best stuff comes out when I simmer down and stop worrying.
Hopefully this semester I can join the art club at school. I know they arrange for open drawing sessions with live models. I think it'd do me a world of good. Not to mention I really enjoy life drawing and find it relaxing. I need to take a break from drawing from my head and spend more time drawing what's in front of me.