TL;DR Masterpiece Theater
I actually had a few interesting post ideas, but... meh. They'll be done later. Instead, it's time to mope!
Since getting back from my little trip which was also spring break, I've been feeling mightily out of sorts. Not exactly... depressed, nothing that bad. Just perpetually blah. A few days in a row I've had the sort of day where you feel really unaccomplished by the end of it, like you just wasted all your time that day. It peaked on Thursday. I was feeling so blah that I skipped both of my classes thinking I'd feel better if I just took some time for myself, but instead ended up feeling twice as bad for it. Later, due to a killer headache, I took some ibuprofen and decongestants, a combination that usually sedates me (in a way that's strangely pleasant uh), but instead actually made me feel really unpleasantly sedated and disconnected which was compounded with an unpleasant work shift. Also I played ridiculously amounts of Picross which, while very fun, made me feel twice as shiftless.
I will note that we have two Japanese high school girls staying with us for a week of homestay, which means I cannot play my video games as they are in the den which is my video game sanctuary. They also contribute to the eternal problem of guests being like fish (both begin to stink after a few days). Also because it's the middle of the semester I came back to projects and midterms and being strangely busier than usual.
I am also becoming increasingly distressed over the lack of ANY kind of news from Fullerton. I checked the website, and it still says I haven't sent in my transcripts. The deadline for sending in documents was March 14th. Now, one was sent a little lateish, but the rest were sent with reasonable amount of time to make it. Of course, it's probably just that they're taking a really long time to update the website and are probably going to send out the last batch of admittance/rejection letters all at once. There is also really no reason I shouldn't be admitted, unless... I made an error somewhere. Or a transcript got lost in the mail. Which would really, really suck. I guess I could do community college for another semester. I'm only twenty-one. I have plenty of time. But it'd still really, really suck.
Still... I am mostly just whining. Unless I really do get a rejection letter sometime soon (in which case I really will be depressed for a few days), nothing that bad has happened. In fact, in a general sort of sense, my life is actually pretty good, and still light-years better than it was in the beginning of last year. I am not drowning in a self-perpetuated pool of apathy and misery. I am actually moving forward in my education, and pursuing a major that doesn't leaves me feeling incredible inadequate and unsure. Not to mention has promise of employment and self-support. I have a fabulous boyfriend who is deliciously different from most people and has stuck with me for almost nearly a year. Not sure when I lost it, but I'm actually starting to have a self-image as opposed to not thinking anything of myself at all. Also a small, but nice thing is I don't argue with my dad nearly as much and my mom actually treats me like an adult (sometimes, but it's okay, she's a mom). I can drive(!!!) and can actually save money.
In conclusion, I am in a funk that unfortunately is not a groovy, fresh-beats sort of funk, but a lackadaisical, gloomy, gray funk. I feel like I'm sitting in a bathtub of lukewarm water.
EDIT:
On a happy note, I did finally get my Zero Suit Samus sketch commission (plus bonus sketch!) that I paid for at AX '07 drawn by my favorite online artist ever. They are gorgeous and sexy and I will upload them so everyone else can see how gorgeous and sexy they are.
Since getting back from my little trip which was also spring break, I've been feeling mightily out of sorts. Not exactly... depressed, nothing that bad. Just perpetually blah. A few days in a row I've had the sort of day where you feel really unaccomplished by the end of it, like you just wasted all your time that day. It peaked on Thursday. I was feeling so blah that I skipped both of my classes thinking I'd feel better if I just took some time for myself, but instead ended up feeling twice as bad for it. Later, due to a killer headache, I took some ibuprofen and decongestants, a combination that usually sedates me (in a way that's strangely pleasant uh), but instead actually made me feel really unpleasantly sedated and disconnected which was compounded with an unpleasant work shift. Also I played ridiculously amounts of Picross which, while very fun, made me feel twice as shiftless.
I will note that we have two Japanese high school girls staying with us for a week of homestay, which means I cannot play my video games as they are in the den which is my video game sanctuary. They also contribute to the eternal problem of guests being like fish (both begin to stink after a few days). Also because it's the middle of the semester I came back to projects and midterms and being strangely busier than usual.
I am also becoming increasingly distressed over the lack of ANY kind of news from Fullerton. I checked the website, and it still says I haven't sent in my transcripts. The deadline for sending in documents was March 14th. Now, one was sent a little lateish, but the rest were sent with reasonable amount of time to make it. Of course, it's probably just that they're taking a really long time to update the website and are probably going to send out the last batch of admittance/rejection letters all at once. There is also really no reason I shouldn't be admitted, unless... I made an error somewhere. Or a transcript got lost in the mail. Which would really, really suck. I guess I could do community college for another semester. I'm only twenty-one. I have plenty of time. But it'd still really, really suck.
Still... I am mostly just whining. Unless I really do get a rejection letter sometime soon (in which case I really will be depressed for a few days), nothing that bad has happened. In fact, in a general sort of sense, my life is actually pretty good, and still light-years better than it was in the beginning of last year. I am not drowning in a self-perpetuated pool of apathy and misery. I am actually moving forward in my education, and pursuing a major that doesn't leaves me feeling incredible inadequate and unsure. Not to mention has promise of employment and self-support. I have a fabulous boyfriend who is deliciously different from most people and has stuck with me for almost nearly a year. Not sure when I lost it, but I'm actually starting to have a self-image as opposed to not thinking anything of myself at all. Also a small, but nice thing is I don't argue with my dad nearly as much and my mom actually treats me like an adult (sometimes, but it's okay, she's a mom). I can drive(!!!) and can actually save money.
In conclusion, I am in a funk that unfortunately is not a groovy, fresh-beats sort of funk, but a lackadaisical, gloomy, gray funk. I feel like I'm sitting in a bathtub of lukewarm water.
EDIT:
On a happy note, I did finally get my Zero Suit Samus sketch commission (plus bonus sketch!) that I paid for at AX '07 drawn by my favorite online artist ever. They are gorgeous and sexy and I will upload them so everyone else can see how gorgeous and sexy they are.