(no subject)
Carleigh was evaluated by the speech and hearing specialists on Wednesday. She passed both tests with flying colors. I am happy that she had no problems with either, but still waiting for some answers to the cause of her problems in school. The office manager is giving me grief about taking off for her various appointments, but at this point I don't care. Carleigh is the most important thing in my life and if she can't understand then it just too bad.
I have started having terrible anxiety attacks. At first, I thought they were asthma attacks. I don't have asthma, but the feeling that I can't breathe and the tightness in my chest, is something I have never experienced before. I cry at the drop of a hat and have been unable to sleep. I talked to one of the doctors at work and was tested for asthma and was told that was not the problem. He sent me to the hospital Friday for a EKG and cardiac enzyme test. I saw the result of the EKG and of course it was fine. I have not heard anything on the blood work yet. When I returned to work, the doctor and I had a long talk. I told him of the problems with Carleigh, the fact that I feel like the office manager is picking on me. I blame myself for Carleigh's problems. If I hadn't move her to Arkansas and involved myself in a relationship with a psycho, she would not be having the problems that she it. Before we moved the she was happy and well adjusted and my poor judgment has caused her damage that is beyond repair. I told him that her father does not come to see her and she misses him terribly. The drama at work with other co-workers in unbearable. The doctor gave me a prescription for Xanax and told me that we all hit bumps in the road and everything will eventually be alright. He told me to relax this weekend and not worry so much, which is easier said than done. I tried to talk to Mike, but I don't want him to think that I have lost my mind. I need to have some time alone and can't. I can't find a babysitter and if I could, Carleigh won't leave my side. She is worried about me, no matter how hard I try to keep my feelings from her. I guess I just need to be alone to wallow in myself pity. I am losing it all together.
I have started having terrible anxiety attacks. At first, I thought they were asthma attacks. I don't have asthma, but the feeling that I can't breathe and the tightness in my chest, is something I have never experienced before. I cry at the drop of a hat and have been unable to sleep. I talked to one of the doctors at work and was tested for asthma and was told that was not the problem. He sent me to the hospital Friday for a EKG and cardiac enzyme test. I saw the result of the EKG and of course it was fine. I have not heard anything on the blood work yet. When I returned to work, the doctor and I had a long talk. I told him of the problems with Carleigh, the fact that I feel like the office manager is picking on me. I blame myself for Carleigh's problems. If I hadn't move her to Arkansas and involved myself in a relationship with a psycho, she would not be having the problems that she it. Before we moved the she was happy and well adjusted and my poor judgment has caused her damage that is beyond repair. I told him that her father does not come to see her and she misses him terribly. The drama at work with other co-workers in unbearable. The doctor gave me a prescription for Xanax and told me that we all hit bumps in the road and everything will eventually be alright. He told me to relax this weekend and not worry so much, which is easier said than done. I tried to talk to Mike, but I don't want him to think that I have lost my mind. I need to have some time alone and can't. I can't find a babysitter and if I could, Carleigh won't leave my side. She is worried about me, no matter how hard I try to keep my feelings from her. I guess I just need to be alone to wallow in myself pity. I am losing it all together.