Pharmaceutical Progress
I spend a lot of time sitting on stools. Whether it be reading the ingredients on the Cheerios box in my breakfast nook, suckin’ down cold ones at the bar or kissin’ Flo’s grits at the diner, nearly every free minute I have is spent sitting on stools.
That said, lately I’ve been finding that my posterior is, more often than not, rather tender. I’m not sure whether it has something to do with the extra elevation afforded by my choice of seating or what, but it is clear these stools aren’t agreeing with me.
A few minutes ago I was at the pharmacy looking for something to relieve the tenderness in my buttocks when I spied the perfect thing: Maximum Strength Stool Softener. Here I was trying to find a remedy to treat the symptom of a problem, when those great public servants in the pharmaceutical industry have gone and solved the problem altogether.
I have no idea how taking a little pill could actually affect the physical attributes of furniture, but I’m pleased as punch that this is now an option. What a lifesaver. The recommended dose is 1 pill, but due to the severity of my problem, I just went ahead and took 5.
Thanks, pharmaceutical industry!