If you just walked away..what could i really say? would it matter anyway? would it change how u feel
I always write something..and when im just about to post it..i delete it.
so heres the story of my life for the past forever.
-Soccer ends tomorrow. which means more conditioning begins.
-That is to say if i can stay out of the hospital long enough to hit the gym
-In and out of hospitals for the past 2 weeks. my hands hurt from endless IV's. FMH staff knows me well.
-They cant figure out whats wrong.
-Ive dropped 35 pounds since December 28th which is disgusting.
-I cant complain too much.
-My birthday was awesome.
and heres my lesson of the week.
i betray them. i hurt them. i disrespect them.
and they dont even walk away.
for everytime ive hurt them, thats one more hospital stay they're there.
for everytime ive made them cry, thats one more boarding trip they send me on.
if i love them so much..why do they hurt so bad?
my parents have been the 2 that have been there through the vommitting, the uncontrolable tears, the sleepless nights..
and i know they're broken hearted.
seeing the way lauren treats them tears me up.
ive started spending more time with them. having more patience with them, as they have for me.
my mom and i go out together every weekend now.
we cook together..we talk. about the family, mostly.
my dad and i dont talk "serious" talk..but hes almost back to normal.
back to calling me kiddo.
telling me he loves me. endlessly.
and now with this stomach disease..he checks on me through the night.
brings me my pills in the morning.
hes finally back to the amazing guy hes always been.
I guess thats the problem.
The ties i have with my parents are stronger than ever, along with the relationship between my sister and i.
but the bridges are burned and buried between lauren and my parents.
who knows.
but its times like these i realize that friends are never going to be there like your family is.
the people that gave me verbal promises..broke them.
but my family stood up to their promises the whole time.
and its all that i need.
so heres the story of my life for the past forever.
-Soccer ends tomorrow. which means more conditioning begins.
-That is to say if i can stay out of the hospital long enough to hit the gym
-In and out of hospitals for the past 2 weeks. my hands hurt from endless IV's. FMH staff knows me well.
-They cant figure out whats wrong.
-Ive dropped 35 pounds since December 28th which is disgusting.
-I cant complain too much.
-My birthday was awesome.
and heres my lesson of the week.
i betray them. i hurt them. i disrespect them.
and they dont even walk away.
for everytime ive hurt them, thats one more hospital stay they're there.
for everytime ive made them cry, thats one more boarding trip they send me on.
if i love them so much..why do they hurt so bad?
my parents have been the 2 that have been there through the vommitting, the uncontrolable tears, the sleepless nights..
and i know they're broken hearted.
seeing the way lauren treats them tears me up.
ive started spending more time with them. having more patience with them, as they have for me.
my mom and i go out together every weekend now.
we cook together..we talk. about the family, mostly.
my dad and i dont talk "serious" talk..but hes almost back to normal.
back to calling me kiddo.
telling me he loves me. endlessly.
and now with this stomach disease..he checks on me through the night.
brings me my pills in the morning.
hes finally back to the amazing guy hes always been.
I guess thats the problem.
The ties i have with my parents are stronger than ever, along with the relationship between my sister and i.
but the bridges are burned and buried between lauren and my parents.
who knows.
but its times like these i realize that friends are never going to be there like your family is.
the people that gave me verbal promises..broke them.
but my family stood up to their promises the whole time.
and its all that i need.