(no subject)
I mailed sixty-five out of one hundred and sixteen missionary support letters today. For some reason, this is a scary thing for me to do. I usually look the call that God has put in front of me and take it on without looking back, but because I am seeking support, I feel satan is attacking my thoughts by using my immaturity and irresponsibility of my teen years as reasons people would not want to partner with me. Of course this isn't true, but it still effects me off and on. I think also the fact that this involves so much preparation, that my excitement for this awesome task God has called me to is poured out in my preparation work rather than the usual ways excitement is manifested through our thoughts and the way our body portrays this excitment. Also, because of the huge amount of preparation, I have had to put into this, I struggle with balancing my desire for people to partner with me in all three ways of supporting me instead of worrying just about finance. The cool thing through this whole thing is that through the 4 months of serious preparation, and the months preceding that where I prayed about what God would have me do, God has brought up some serious issues I have concerning sin. I have had some awesome times of prayer and I think I have made allot of progress in my pursuit of the heart of God.