Nothing.
This is probably a bad idea.
I have my best friend on my lap, giving me kisses and shedding fur in my face, yuck.
He's the greatest... Unconditional love is the greatest.
... Or the worst.
I still love Amanda, I still love Sasha, whether it ended good or bad,
whether i made the mistakes or she did, no matter who they're with now.
I will love them because they were in my heart so deep.
And I would probably drop everything and come to their rescue if they needed it.
It's just who I am.
The word drama really doesn't suit me,
so I'll switch it up to chaos.
Catastrophes.
I'm not good with words,
I'm easily overwhelmed.
So when we talk and when we fight, I'll probably always back down.
Because I'm confused, and my point is not being made, so I'm frustrated because...
I know I'm about to back down, and nothing will change.
It's internal.
it's conditioned into me.
Because I was ruined, and "kicked as a puppy" and no amount of time has seemed to heal this.
I have problems that lie deep and they aren't something I'll talk about.
Fears of disappointing you, that look of hurt in your eyes is enough to make me back down.
I am ruined, I'm just shiny on the surface.
So stop thinking I'm anything because I'm not.
I am nothing
until i can fix this.
I'm feeling particularly defeated today,
How emo.
Why can't everything just BE, without the politics.
I have my best friend on my lap, giving me kisses and shedding fur in my face, yuck.
He's the greatest... Unconditional love is the greatest.
... Or the worst.
I still love Amanda, I still love Sasha, whether it ended good or bad,
whether i made the mistakes or she did, no matter who they're with now.
I will love them because they were in my heart so deep.
And I would probably drop everything and come to their rescue if they needed it.
It's just who I am.
The word drama really doesn't suit me,
so I'll switch it up to chaos.
Catastrophes.
I'm not good with words,
I'm easily overwhelmed.
So when we talk and when we fight, I'll probably always back down.
Because I'm confused, and my point is not being made, so I'm frustrated because...
I know I'm about to back down, and nothing will change.
It's internal.
it's conditioned into me.
Because I was ruined, and "kicked as a puppy" and no amount of time has seemed to heal this.
I have problems that lie deep and they aren't something I'll talk about.
Fears of disappointing you, that look of hurt in your eyes is enough to make me back down.
I am ruined, I'm just shiny on the surface.
So stop thinking I'm anything because I'm not.
I am nothing
until i can fix this.
I'm feeling particularly defeated today,
How emo.
Why can't everything just BE, without the politics.