Relationships...
or lack of...
I'm seeing people left and right hooking up... or so it seems. I guess I'm more aware of it at the moment...
Over winter break, I had absolutely no plans, other than working a couple days. So being the easily bored person that I am... I need to be doing more than 3 things at any given time not to be bored depending on the thing I'm doing... Anyways, as a college student does these days, I was on Facebook being random. Looking at pictures. Browsing friends' friends. Reading peoples walls. You know all that stuff you can spend countless hours on and I stumble on pictures of a friend's winter break. A few days earlier someone left a wall post on said friends wall saying, "I'm bored. Get your man and take me out." Last time I had checked said friend was single. I was like "WTF?!" Then, didn't do anything about it and just was like whatever. As I was flipping through the album I was like how cute and then I began to realize, omg this is his man. I was like damn! How did that happen? And why the hell didn't I know about it!?
I'm always out of the loop. I typically try to stay away from the rumor mills at my school, but some times you just have to know the gossip when you constantly hang around the gay boys cause you don't want to get caught up in the lesbian drama... So, needless to say I was surprised to see these two had hooked up. They are both cute and make a good match... But, after hanging with said friend a lot the past year or so, I didn't think his man was his type, but you never really know these things...
Anyways, back to the point...
The pairing off normally doesn't bug me. Most of the people that I hang around with are in a relationship with someone and I don't mind being the single one. I really don't... I have this whole attitude of I don't want to date. Day after day, I hear about the drama of people breaking up. I see it in tv shows. I read it in LJ. I see it in real life. I see these people who are just devastated after a break up. Those that think they have nothing to live for. They were sure they were the one true love. How could they possibly move on? I don't fear being one of those people, I always said I never wanted to be the one who caused the devastation. I don't want to be the reason for their pain. I can't imagine doing to that to someone... Why can't things just end amicably? Or so I thought...
The other night, I was feeling very alone. Depressed. Sitting at home all alone on New Years Eve. I was sick, but alone nonetheless. Not a single person called, texted, messaged to say Happy New Years. Nothing. Didn't surprise me, at all. I was laying in bed watching feel good romantic comedies, a sort of guilty pleasure for me. And I realized I wanted that. I want someone to share my life with. Being as bored as I was I went flipping through LJ, downelink, and even some dating sights. Then it hit me. I don't want to met someone that way. I don't want to be an eharmony.com or match.com commercial. I don't. I don't want to have to resort to that...
I've never been in a relationship before. I'm 25 years old and have not had one single relationship. Never dated. I feel slightly embarrassed and pathetic saying this, but I've never been kissed, really truly kissed before... Sad? I know... and it is for that reason why I don't want to resort to that...
I don't know anymore...
I'm seeing people left and right hooking up... or so it seems. I guess I'm more aware of it at the moment...
Over winter break, I had absolutely no plans, other than working a couple days. So being the easily bored person that I am... I need to be doing more than 3 things at any given time not to be bored depending on the thing I'm doing... Anyways, as a college student does these days, I was on Facebook being random. Looking at pictures. Browsing friends' friends. Reading peoples walls. You know all that stuff you can spend countless hours on and I stumble on pictures of a friend's winter break. A few days earlier someone left a wall post on said friends wall saying, "I'm bored. Get your man and take me out." Last time I had checked said friend was single. I was like "WTF?!" Then, didn't do anything about it and just was like whatever. As I was flipping through the album I was like how cute and then I began to realize, omg this is his man. I was like damn! How did that happen? And why the hell didn't I know about it!?
I'm always out of the loop. I typically try to stay away from the rumor mills at my school, but some times you just have to know the gossip when you constantly hang around the gay boys cause you don't want to get caught up in the lesbian drama... So, needless to say I was surprised to see these two had hooked up. They are both cute and make a good match... But, after hanging with said friend a lot the past year or so, I didn't think his man was his type, but you never really know these things...
Anyways, back to the point...
The pairing off normally doesn't bug me. Most of the people that I hang around with are in a relationship with someone and I don't mind being the single one. I really don't... I have this whole attitude of I don't want to date. Day after day, I hear about the drama of people breaking up. I see it in tv shows. I read it in LJ. I see it in real life. I see these people who are just devastated after a break up. Those that think they have nothing to live for. They were sure they were the one true love. How could they possibly move on? I don't fear being one of those people, I always said I never wanted to be the one who caused the devastation. I don't want to be the reason for their pain. I can't imagine doing to that to someone... Why can't things just end amicably? Or so I thought...
The other night, I was feeling very alone. Depressed. Sitting at home all alone on New Years Eve. I was sick, but alone nonetheless. Not a single person called, texted, messaged to say Happy New Years. Nothing. Didn't surprise me, at all. I was laying in bed watching feel good romantic comedies, a sort of guilty pleasure for me. And I realized I wanted that. I want someone to share my life with. Being as bored as I was I went flipping through LJ, downelink, and even some dating sights. Then it hit me. I don't want to met someone that way. I don't want to be an eharmony.com or match.com commercial. I don't. I don't want to have to resort to that...
I've never been in a relationship before. I'm 25 years old and have not had one single relationship. Never dated. I feel slightly embarrassed and pathetic saying this, but I've never been kissed, really truly kissed before... Sad? I know... and it is for that reason why I don't want to resort to that...
I don't know anymore...