screwed up sleep schedule & other ramblings
I don't know what it is, but the past couple of weeks, I've just been feeling so incredibly blah. I have no motivation. I haven't been writing at all, I have been drawing somewhat, though nothing of my own. It feels like I have to force myself to do anything these days. Except obsessively update the new scrapbook entry I started; or hunt around for new icons (I did make a few of my own, finally!); or watch tv (even things I've seen before); or read, read, read, unless it's a book i'm just not that into right now (I really don't feel like reading jane austen lately). I haven't found a job yet, but I know I haven't been looking hard enough. Just another thing I don't. feel. like. doing. lately.
I can't sleep at night. It's even difficult to get more than a few hours with PM pills. But once the sun is up and shining through the windows, all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. Or, occasionally, I will sit down on the bed to read and find my eyes refuse to stay open long enough to finish a page. I've tried cutting back on caffeine - I was drinking way too many sodas - but I must have my coffee in the mornings. Even when I was getting sleep at night, I often felt groggy and sluggish during the day. It's frustrating not wanting to do a damn thing when you know you have so many things that need to be done!
It's nearly 6AM and I am just recently starting to feel tired at all, even though I felt crappy all day and even had to forgo an afternoon at the pool. I feel angry at myself for being like this all the time! I just want to get things done, damnit!
I can't sleep at night. It's even difficult to get more than a few hours with PM pills. But once the sun is up and shining through the windows, all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. Or, occasionally, I will sit down on the bed to read and find my eyes refuse to stay open long enough to finish a page. I've tried cutting back on caffeine - I was drinking way too many sodas - but I must have my coffee in the mornings. Even when I was getting sleep at night, I often felt groggy and sluggish during the day. It's frustrating not wanting to do a damn thing when you know you have so many things that need to be done!
It's nearly 6AM and I am just recently starting to feel tired at all, even though I felt crappy all day and even had to forgo an afternoon at the pool. I feel angry at myself for being like this all the time! I just want to get things done, damnit!