Anger & rant
I am pissed off.
I have been for a while and when I am like this I would tell my mon, she would say," what is the point of saying anything? It does not accomplish anything & all it is doing is getting yourself more upset" (in other words, let it go, it is not worth it)
For years, I have tried to take her advice. I do not confront people because I do not like to so I kind of got the first part down but I think I understood it wrong, she did not mean avoid confrontation she meant
"what is the point of saying anything? if it does not accomplish anything"
If is a big word, you need to ask yourself, is it actually worth the effort & consequences to actually confront someone, if so: do it & if not, then say nothing but you need to the issue go.
This is my issue I can't, I replay it over & over again, I can feel it building up & doing me damage but never know how to just let it go. How? Lower your expectation of people? Throw things? Really, I wish I knew how. I have tried but just end up back there, festering over it.
Time works since after a while I stop thinking about it but still, it isn't healthy & as mom said "accomplishes nothing"
Le sign
Onto the rant, I guess getting it out might just help with letting it go.
Story goes:
Few weeks ago a friend txted me early in the morning, she knows I have issues sleeping.
She txted to say, her new boss replied to her email & said she works at 9am. (the night before she called to say her new boss sent her a confusing email about start time, she was to work from 8am mon-fri but said Monday she needed to go over paperwork & training at 9am. My friend was confused was she to be there at 8am or 9 on mon. I had suggested go at 8am to be safe. She told me the email was confusing, had already emailed the boss to ask what she meant & was going in for 9am. This annoyed me since why did she ask my advice if she had already decided.) so when she texted me in the morning, I was already pissed off so this pushed me to far.
I replied:
"That is great but why the fuck did you just feel the need to wake me up to tell me? Please do not txt me back now since I am trying to go back to sleep before I need to get up in an hour. "
I did not think this was unreasonable, I even made a fb joke a out it (since she is not the only person I know who have txted me that time in the morning when you just want to get a LITTLE more sleep)
I did not hear from her, I made a comment on fb, saying guess you no longer want to be friends. She said phone works both ways, I called, got a txt back few days latter.
Today, I tried again, called & she called me back. This is where I am pissed, she was at the movies!!!! I said, okay let you go. Her reply, it is the credits so we can talk.
Yeah I want to have a serious conversation while you ARE AT THE FUCKING MOVIES. Show me some fucking respect!!!!
Oh wait it does shows me you do not want to try to patch it up. This is childish & stupid. I feel bad since she was there for me when i was dealing with my mom but COME ON. (there is more to the story then just the txt. That was the breaking point. One main reason was she started talking at me not with me & if I did not give her an answer she liked she scolded me like a child)
When on the phone for the moment she sounded pissed which leads me to aak why are YOU PISSED?
Moral of the story my mom is right. But she normally was
Let see if she calls me back, if she wants to savage the friendship. I will let her know why I am pissed off, & if she wants to make amends then find but if not then, I tried & again as my mom said "that is all you can do"
but I do now if after the call I get pissed at the results instead of festering I will LJ post it & hope it just relieves the anger
LJ is good to sometimes realize things. Thanks to who ever took the time to read this
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