[fic] In With the New
In With the New
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with allusions to True Blood and Supernatural
Rating: totally clean
Ships: none
Summary: A Very Buffy New Years Eve. With Dawn. And Special Guest Appearances.
A/N: This is for r-becca. Set post-series. No comics canon. 800 words. And you really don't need to know a whole lot about TB or SPN.
Remix: Out With the Old by brutti_ma_buoni
Sam Merlotte sighed and said, "Where's Buffy when you need her?"
"Uh," Buffy said, raising her hand and waving at the television. "Right here."
"I don't think he saw you," Dawn said around a mouthful of popcorn. She swallowed. "Anyway, you wouldn't kill Bill. Huh, get it?"
"Kill Bill," said Buffy. "I get it. This is what I get for not having a more secret secret identity. Though I'd kind of like to know how the guys at HBO found out. Maybe I'll sic Andrew on 'em. And what do you mean I wouldn't kill him? Hello? Slayer?"
"True Blood vampires don't just turn to dust. I saw a clip on YouTube. It's gross. You'd have to go patrolling in a radiation suit or something. Anyway, Bill's your type. He's old and dead."
Buffy pinched Dawn's shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Oh, that was so not ow-worthy."
"Hello, Slayer strength?"
Buffy grabbed a sofa cushion and hugged it to her chest. "Anyway, Vampire Bill is so not my type. I mean, he wouldn't even go with my accessories!"
Dawn snorted. "Shallow, much?"
"Seriously. I'd have to give up all my silver jewelry. And, frankly, I'm done altering my lifestyle for men."
"You wouldn't even give up stuff that would physically harm them? I mean theoretically," she added quickly. "Please don't tell me again how unrealistic this show is. You've said it, like, twenty times since the first episode. You really wouldn't change?"
"Nope," said Buffy blithely. "That's my New Years resolution. Going into effect at midnight tonight. Which gives any man…" She craned her neck to peer into the kitchen and at the clock on the microwave. "…Fifty minutes to show up and throw my life into chaos. Before twelve, I'll accommodate. After twelve…nope. Non-accommodating Buffy will be in residence. What about you, Dawnie?" She tweaked her sister's hair gently. "What's your resolution?"
"I resolve," Dawn said, "to spend the next New Years doing something less lame than watching TV with my lame sister."
"I'm not lame!" Buffy protested, indignant. "Cute, scruffy, bartender guy just name-dropped me. That is so cool. And hey, you should be grateful. How many big sisters let their little sisters watch violent, gory, sexy shows like this? I am an awesome big sister."
"I'm seventeen," Dawn said, "and I saw way more violence than this in Sunnydale. I've seen-"
"If you tell me you've seen way more sex," Buffy cut in, "I will lock you up until you're forty. If, however, you manage not to give me any mental scars in the next forty-five minutes, there'll be chocolate cake and champagne."
"And more episodes? Can I start the next one?"
Buffy handed her the remote control.
So they watched, and there was plenty more violence, gore, and sex. Buffy flushed when Vampire Bill and Sookie Stackhouse finally flew into each other's arms because it made her think of Angel, and Riley, and even Spike. She smiled when Dawn snuggled closer and laid her head on Buffy's shoulder - though that made it impossible to read the microwave clock, which meant she didn't know how much time she had left to find a man who could turn her world upside down without suffering dire consequences. Or when to go get the champagne from the fridge.
"Honey," she said when she thought that about forty minutes had passed. But she didn't get to say anything else because the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," she grumbled, nudging Dawn away. "It's probably evil. Find me a stake?"
But the two young men to whom she opened her door had perfectly smooth foreheads, and when they grinned, no fangs protruded from their gums. They didn't seem troubled by the silver cross she wore, either. Still, Buffy was wary.
"Sorry to interrupt," said the shorter of the two. He sounded Southern. Not Deep South, but farther south than Cleveland, Ohio. "I know it's New Years. We're with the FBI." He flashed a badge at her, but shoved it back into his pocket before she could so much as blink. "We're checking out - hey." His green eyes lit up. "Is that True Blood?"
"Dean," his taller companion muttered, "not now. Listen," he went on, addressing Buffy, "we're investigating a-"
"Couldn't find a stake," Dawn said, coming up behind Buffy. "But I found some chopsticks in the utensils drawer."
"Dawnie, I don't think they're, uh…" She floundered, aware that Dean was ogling both her and her little sister. "Hungry for lo mein," she finished lamely. "Look, this really isn't a good… Not that I'm interfering with the FBI! But-" She peeked at the microwave clock. "It's, like, two minutes to midnight."
"Oh!" said Dawn. "Huh. Good timing." And with all her might, she shoved Buffy at the two young men in the doorway.
Caught off guard, Buffy stumbled forward.
12/18/2008
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with allusions to True Blood and Supernatural
Rating: totally clean
Ships: none
Summary: A Very Buffy New Years Eve. With Dawn. And Special Guest Appearances.
A/N: This is for r-becca. Set post-series. No comics canon. 800 words. And you really don't need to know a whole lot about TB or SPN.
Remix: Out With the Old by brutti_ma_buoni
Sam Merlotte sighed and said, "Where's Buffy when you need her?"
"Uh," Buffy said, raising her hand and waving at the television. "Right here."
"I don't think he saw you," Dawn said around a mouthful of popcorn. She swallowed. "Anyway, you wouldn't kill Bill. Huh, get it?"
"Kill Bill," said Buffy. "I get it. This is what I get for not having a more secret secret identity. Though I'd kind of like to know how the guys at HBO found out. Maybe I'll sic Andrew on 'em. And what do you mean I wouldn't kill him? Hello? Slayer?"
"True Blood vampires don't just turn to dust. I saw a clip on YouTube. It's gross. You'd have to go patrolling in a radiation suit or something. Anyway, Bill's your type. He's old and dead."
Buffy pinched Dawn's shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Oh, that was so not ow-worthy."
"Hello, Slayer strength?"
Buffy grabbed a sofa cushion and hugged it to her chest. "Anyway, Vampire Bill is so not my type. I mean, he wouldn't even go with my accessories!"
Dawn snorted. "Shallow, much?"
"Seriously. I'd have to give up all my silver jewelry. And, frankly, I'm done altering my lifestyle for men."
"You wouldn't even give up stuff that would physically harm them? I mean theoretically," she added quickly. "Please don't tell me again how unrealistic this show is. You've said it, like, twenty times since the first episode. You really wouldn't change?"
"Nope," said Buffy blithely. "That's my New Years resolution. Going into effect at midnight tonight. Which gives any man…" She craned her neck to peer into the kitchen and at the clock on the microwave. "…Fifty minutes to show up and throw my life into chaos. Before twelve, I'll accommodate. After twelve…nope. Non-accommodating Buffy will be in residence. What about you, Dawnie?" She tweaked her sister's hair gently. "What's your resolution?"
"I resolve," Dawn said, "to spend the next New Years doing something less lame than watching TV with my lame sister."
"I'm not lame!" Buffy protested, indignant. "Cute, scruffy, bartender guy just name-dropped me. That is so cool. And hey, you should be grateful. How many big sisters let their little sisters watch violent, gory, sexy shows like this? I am an awesome big sister."
"I'm seventeen," Dawn said, "and I saw way more violence than this in Sunnydale. I've seen-"
"If you tell me you've seen way more sex," Buffy cut in, "I will lock you up until you're forty. If, however, you manage not to give me any mental scars in the next forty-five minutes, there'll be chocolate cake and champagne."
"And more episodes? Can I start the next one?"
Buffy handed her the remote control.
So they watched, and there was plenty more violence, gore, and sex. Buffy flushed when Vampire Bill and Sookie Stackhouse finally flew into each other's arms because it made her think of Angel, and Riley, and even Spike. She smiled when Dawn snuggled closer and laid her head on Buffy's shoulder - though that made it impossible to read the microwave clock, which meant she didn't know how much time she had left to find a man who could turn her world upside down without suffering dire consequences. Or when to go get the champagne from the fridge.
"Honey," she said when she thought that about forty minutes had passed. But she didn't get to say anything else because the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," she grumbled, nudging Dawn away. "It's probably evil. Find me a stake?"
But the two young men to whom she opened her door had perfectly smooth foreheads, and when they grinned, no fangs protruded from their gums. They didn't seem troubled by the silver cross she wore, either. Still, Buffy was wary.
"Sorry to interrupt," said the shorter of the two. He sounded Southern. Not Deep South, but farther south than Cleveland, Ohio. "I know it's New Years. We're with the FBI." He flashed a badge at her, but shoved it back into his pocket before she could so much as blink. "We're checking out - hey." His green eyes lit up. "Is that True Blood?"
"Dean," his taller companion muttered, "not now. Listen," he went on, addressing Buffy, "we're investigating a-"
"Couldn't find a stake," Dawn said, coming up behind Buffy. "But I found some chopsticks in the utensils drawer."
"Dawnie, I don't think they're, uh…" She floundered, aware that Dean was ogling both her and her little sister. "Hungry for lo mein," she finished lamely. "Look, this really isn't a good… Not that I'm interfering with the FBI! But-" She peeked at the microwave clock. "It's, like, two minutes to midnight."
"Oh!" said Dawn. "Huh. Good timing." And with all her might, she shoved Buffy at the two young men in the doorway.
Caught off guard, Buffy stumbled forward.
12/18/2008