[hp fic] What You'll Miss (Sirius/Remus, NC-17)
What You'll Miss
by Thistlerose
Rating: NC-17
Ship: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Before parting for the winter holidays, Sirius gives Remus something else to remember him by.
Disclaimer: So not my puppies.
Notes: Set immediately after Midnight Conversation #1. Approx. 1,600 words.
“Right,” said James. “Some of us want to sleep. Moony, take your bitch downstairs and--I don’t know. Succumb.” There was movement behind the curtains and then a muffled thump; Remus imagined James with his pillow slammed down over his ears.
Beneath Remus, Sirius said, “Did he just call me your--”
It was Remus’ turn to silence with a kiss. Then, “Yes, he did.” And, climbing to his feet and pulling Sirius up with him, “Show me what I’ll miss?”
“What you’ll miss, hmm?” Sirius murmured as he drew Remus out onto the stairs and closed the door behind them. He pushed the other boy against the wall and held him there. “I can think of a number of things.”
“Don’t tell me,” said Remus. “Show me.”
Sirius’ mouth was already on his neck, nibbling and licking from the velvety skin behind his ear down to his collarbone. Remus tilted his head back, exposing his throat, and Sirius growled appreciatively.
Submissive? Not his Moony. Every surrender was a show of power. Look at where I have you, the smiling lips and half-closed eyes said. Look at what I’m letting you do. If you want more, give me more.
Remus’ hands slid into his hair, scratching and stroking. “I’ll miss this,” he whispered. “I like the way your hair feels.”
“I like the way your skin feels,” Sirius said, and licked Remus from the hollow of his throat to the underside of his chin.
Remus laughed, and from behind the bedroom door a very disgruntled sounding James shouted, “I can still bloody hear you!”
“So use a bloody Imperturbable Charm, you sodding perv,” Sirius shouted back, muffling Remus’ laughter with his hand.
“You cast the bloody charm,” James shot back, sounding as though he were just on the other side of the door. “You’re the ones disturbing my sleep. I was having a nice dream,” he complained. “About Evans. And for some reason Pink Floyd and raspberry jam. I don’t even like Pink Floyd. Or raspberry jam. Bloody poofs.” Something large and soft thumped against the door, something that was probably James’ pillow.
Remus kissed Sirius’ palm. “We should go,” he whispered. “If he keeps on he’s the one who’ll wake the whole tower, not us.”
“Help me remember everything Prongs just said,” Sirius said as he looped an arm around Remus’ waist and started down the stairs. “I need to figure out how I can use it against him. When I’m not thinking about more important things.”
“Important things like…?”
“Like showing you what you’ll miss while you’re off in gay Paree.” He nudged Remus’ hips with his own and felt a spark rush through him. “How about that? Bet you’ll miss that.”
“I’ll miss that,” Remus agreed. They reached the common room and as Sirius led him toward the fireplace and lit a fire with a flick of his wand, Remus said, “It won’t be all that gay. Paris, I mean. I won’t look at anyone else. I swear.”
“Sure you will,” Sirius told him. He stopped Remus in front of the fireplace and moved behind him. He wrapped his arms around the other boy and leaned close. “You’ll look at lots of boys,” he assured him. “You’ll compare them all to me and you’ll remember what I’m about to do to you. And you’ll miss me. A lot.”
“What are you about to do to me?” Remus’ voice was low, but his words rang in Sirius’ ears like a challenge. Sirius nuzzled him thoughtfully for a few moments. His skin was hot, as much from the fire’s proximity as from Sirius’. Sirius wanted to turn the other boy around so he could see his face. Remus would be smiling, he knew, his lower lip protruding ever so slightly. His eyes would be wide open and rich as mahogany in the flickering flames. He would be flushed. The cords of his neck would be standing out against his skin. He would be hard.
Imagining was almost as good.
Painfully hard himself, Sirius let his hands drift down Remus’ chest, to the knotted sash at his waist. He tugged the sash loose and lifted the robe from Remus’ shoulders. It slid to the carpet and pooled around their feet like folds of night. Sirius raised his foot to kick it aside, but changed his mind. Moving away from Remus momentarily, he gathered the robe and spread it like a blanket before the crackling fire. He turned back to Remus, but did not rise. Still on his knees, he caught the other boy by the waist and drew him closer.
“You’ll want a Imperturbable Charm, I think,” said Remus. His voice shook slightly.
“Why?” Sirius asked, lifting the back of his pyjama top and kissing the small of his back. “Are you going to make noise?”
“I might,” said Remus. “Unless you’re just going to tease me. Then you might make noise. Because I’ll be killing you.”
“So violent.” Sirius swiped at the shallow dip with his tongue, then drew back again, fumbled for his wand, and muttered the incantation.
“This is very symbolic,” Remus commented as Sirius began to unbutton his pyjamas. He raised his hands to help, but Sirius swiped them away.
“What’re you babbling about?”
“This. Me facing the flames. You at my back.”
“On my knees at your back.” The top fell away. Sirius did not see it land.
“I’m-” Remus began, but choked on whatever he meant to say next when Sirius, licking his back slowly, pulled his pyjama bottoms down. “I,” he tried again, and almost tripped stepping out of the bottoms.
Sirius caught him and pulled him to floor, rolled over him, and arranged him on his side on the spread-out robe. “You’re facing the flames again,” Sirius whispered. He pulled down his own pyjama bottoms and tossed them aside. Cold air hit his backside and shivered down his legs to his feet, but he pressed close to Remus.
“Yes,” murmured the other boy.
“I’m still at your back.”
“I know.” Remus dropped his head onto Sirius’ shoulder and flashed him a weak upside-down smile. “What’re you going to do with me?”
“I’m going to fuck you,” Sirius said. Heat blossomed in his own cheek as Remus flushed. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll still be able to feel it in Paris.”
He nudged Remus’ head forward, and kissed the nape of his neck. He stroked Remus’ sides for a moment, then snaked one hand under and around his chest to capture and tease first one hardened nipple, then the other. His other hand drifted down over Remus’ hip to his cock.
Remus gasped and bucked against him. Sirius curled around him, stroking his cock and his nipples, pressing his own erection against the other boy’s arse. He had brought no lubricant, so he made do with Remus’ pre-come, coating his fingertips with the stuff and sliding them easily up and down the shaft. Remus tossed his head and muttered incoherently.
“You’re going to miss this, aren’t you?” Sirius said, but he might as well have been speaking to himself. Remus was far gone by now, and Sirius was anxious to join him.
He released Remus’ nipples and groped once more for his wand. Grasping it, he brought it between their bodies and whispered a spell. Remus inhaled sharply. Sirius dropped his wand, positioned himself, and after only the briefest of hesitations, thrust in.
He felt Remus stretch around him, felt the tight heat of the other boy clench him. He pulled out slightly, then pushed in again.
In and out, in and out. Sirius was aware only of the rhythm of his movements, and of Remus flowing against him like water - except for the parts of him that were hard and stretching and straining - and the cold of night at his back. Remember THIS, he thought with each thrust. Remember ME. His rhythm faltered as he neared the edge. He plunged on erratically, driving Remus before him.
The other boy cried out and came first and Sirius followed soon after. They lay together for a long time afterward, silent except for their ragged breaths.
At length Sirius withdrew and rolled onto his back, drawing Remus on top of him. They were silent a few moments longer. Then Remus said, sounding as though he were still in a distant place, “I’ll miss this.”
Sirius traced circles on the other boy’s sweat-slicked shoulder. He wanted to be selfish and tell Remus not to go, that as wonderful as Paris might be at Christmas, what would happen if he stayed in Britain for the holiday would be even better. He wanted to say, Take me with you. I won’t be seventeen for a month, but who gives a shite? My parents won’t, and I won’t get in your parents’ way too much.
Remus’ warm breath fanned his chest and throat. Sirius doubted either of them had the strength to rise and climb the stairs to the dorm. It was all right. It was only a little after one; they had some hours before dawn, before the other Gryffindors woke and came downstairs.
Sirius felt the heat leaving their bodies and seeping into the night. There were so many things he wanted to say, but it was too soon, he told himself. They had only been together since August. This would be their first time apart since then. And it would only be for two weeks. How much could possibly change in two weeks?
Sirius stopped tracing idle circles in Remus’ skin and hugged the other boy close. Remus lay so still, but his heart still hammered erratically, too erratically for Sirius to memorize the feel of it.
He thought about making a joke - about poor Footpad, perhaps, squashed in the pocket of his robe, or about James the unfortunate voyeur - because he wanted to hear Remus laugh once more before they parted. But when he opened his mouth all he could do was entreat, “Hurry back.”
11/23/04
by Thistlerose
Rating: NC-17
Ship: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Before parting for the winter holidays, Sirius gives Remus something else to remember him by.
Disclaimer: So not my puppies.
Notes: Set immediately after Midnight Conversation #1. Approx. 1,600 words.
“Right,” said James. “Some of us want to sleep. Moony, take your bitch downstairs and--I don’t know. Succumb.” There was movement behind the curtains and then a muffled thump; Remus imagined James with his pillow slammed down over his ears.
Beneath Remus, Sirius said, “Did he just call me your--”
It was Remus’ turn to silence with a kiss. Then, “Yes, he did.” And, climbing to his feet and pulling Sirius up with him, “Show me what I’ll miss?”
“What you’ll miss, hmm?” Sirius murmured as he drew Remus out onto the stairs and closed the door behind them. He pushed the other boy against the wall and held him there. “I can think of a number of things.”
“Don’t tell me,” said Remus. “Show me.”
Sirius’ mouth was already on his neck, nibbling and licking from the velvety skin behind his ear down to his collarbone. Remus tilted his head back, exposing his throat, and Sirius growled appreciatively.
Submissive? Not his Moony. Every surrender was a show of power. Look at where I have you, the smiling lips and half-closed eyes said. Look at what I’m letting you do. If you want more, give me more.
Remus’ hands slid into his hair, scratching and stroking. “I’ll miss this,” he whispered. “I like the way your hair feels.”
“I like the way your skin feels,” Sirius said, and licked Remus from the hollow of his throat to the underside of his chin.
Remus laughed, and from behind the bedroom door a very disgruntled sounding James shouted, “I can still bloody hear you!”
“So use a bloody Imperturbable Charm, you sodding perv,” Sirius shouted back, muffling Remus’ laughter with his hand.
“You cast the bloody charm,” James shot back, sounding as though he were just on the other side of the door. “You’re the ones disturbing my sleep. I was having a nice dream,” he complained. “About Evans. And for some reason Pink Floyd and raspberry jam. I don’t even like Pink Floyd. Or raspberry jam. Bloody poofs.” Something large and soft thumped against the door, something that was probably James’ pillow.
Remus kissed Sirius’ palm. “We should go,” he whispered. “If he keeps on he’s the one who’ll wake the whole tower, not us.”
“Help me remember everything Prongs just said,” Sirius said as he looped an arm around Remus’ waist and started down the stairs. “I need to figure out how I can use it against him. When I’m not thinking about more important things.”
“Important things like…?”
“Like showing you what you’ll miss while you’re off in gay Paree.” He nudged Remus’ hips with his own and felt a spark rush through him. “How about that? Bet you’ll miss that.”
“I’ll miss that,” Remus agreed. They reached the common room and as Sirius led him toward the fireplace and lit a fire with a flick of his wand, Remus said, “It won’t be all that gay. Paris, I mean. I won’t look at anyone else. I swear.”
“Sure you will,” Sirius told him. He stopped Remus in front of the fireplace and moved behind him. He wrapped his arms around the other boy and leaned close. “You’ll look at lots of boys,” he assured him. “You’ll compare them all to me and you’ll remember what I’m about to do to you. And you’ll miss me. A lot.”
“What are you about to do to me?” Remus’ voice was low, but his words rang in Sirius’ ears like a challenge. Sirius nuzzled him thoughtfully for a few moments. His skin was hot, as much from the fire’s proximity as from Sirius’. Sirius wanted to turn the other boy around so he could see his face. Remus would be smiling, he knew, his lower lip protruding ever so slightly. His eyes would be wide open and rich as mahogany in the flickering flames. He would be flushed. The cords of his neck would be standing out against his skin. He would be hard.
Imagining was almost as good.
Painfully hard himself, Sirius let his hands drift down Remus’ chest, to the knotted sash at his waist. He tugged the sash loose and lifted the robe from Remus’ shoulders. It slid to the carpet and pooled around their feet like folds of night. Sirius raised his foot to kick it aside, but changed his mind. Moving away from Remus momentarily, he gathered the robe and spread it like a blanket before the crackling fire. He turned back to Remus, but did not rise. Still on his knees, he caught the other boy by the waist and drew him closer.
“You’ll want a Imperturbable Charm, I think,” said Remus. His voice shook slightly.
“Why?” Sirius asked, lifting the back of his pyjama top and kissing the small of his back. “Are you going to make noise?”
“I might,” said Remus. “Unless you’re just going to tease me. Then you might make noise. Because I’ll be killing you.”
“So violent.” Sirius swiped at the shallow dip with his tongue, then drew back again, fumbled for his wand, and muttered the incantation.
“This is very symbolic,” Remus commented as Sirius began to unbutton his pyjamas. He raised his hands to help, but Sirius swiped them away.
“What’re you babbling about?”
“This. Me facing the flames. You at my back.”
“On my knees at your back.” The top fell away. Sirius did not see it land.
“I’m-” Remus began, but choked on whatever he meant to say next when Sirius, licking his back slowly, pulled his pyjama bottoms down. “I,” he tried again, and almost tripped stepping out of the bottoms.
Sirius caught him and pulled him to floor, rolled over him, and arranged him on his side on the spread-out robe. “You’re facing the flames again,” Sirius whispered. He pulled down his own pyjama bottoms and tossed them aside. Cold air hit his backside and shivered down his legs to his feet, but he pressed close to Remus.
“Yes,” murmured the other boy.
“I’m still at your back.”
“I know.” Remus dropped his head onto Sirius’ shoulder and flashed him a weak upside-down smile. “What’re you going to do with me?”
“I’m going to fuck you,” Sirius said. Heat blossomed in his own cheek as Remus flushed. “I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll still be able to feel it in Paris.”
He nudged Remus’ head forward, and kissed the nape of his neck. He stroked Remus’ sides for a moment, then snaked one hand under and around his chest to capture and tease first one hardened nipple, then the other. His other hand drifted down over Remus’ hip to his cock.
Remus gasped and bucked against him. Sirius curled around him, stroking his cock and his nipples, pressing his own erection against the other boy’s arse. He had brought no lubricant, so he made do with Remus’ pre-come, coating his fingertips with the stuff and sliding them easily up and down the shaft. Remus tossed his head and muttered incoherently.
“You’re going to miss this, aren’t you?” Sirius said, but he might as well have been speaking to himself. Remus was far gone by now, and Sirius was anxious to join him.
He released Remus’ nipples and groped once more for his wand. Grasping it, he brought it between their bodies and whispered a spell. Remus inhaled sharply. Sirius dropped his wand, positioned himself, and after only the briefest of hesitations, thrust in.
He felt Remus stretch around him, felt the tight heat of the other boy clench him. He pulled out slightly, then pushed in again.
In and out, in and out. Sirius was aware only of the rhythm of his movements, and of Remus flowing against him like water - except for the parts of him that were hard and stretching and straining - and the cold of night at his back. Remember THIS, he thought with each thrust. Remember ME. His rhythm faltered as he neared the edge. He plunged on erratically, driving Remus before him.
The other boy cried out and came first and Sirius followed soon after. They lay together for a long time afterward, silent except for their ragged breaths.
At length Sirius withdrew and rolled onto his back, drawing Remus on top of him. They were silent a few moments longer. Then Remus said, sounding as though he were still in a distant place, “I’ll miss this.”
Sirius traced circles on the other boy’s sweat-slicked shoulder. He wanted to be selfish and tell Remus not to go, that as wonderful as Paris might be at Christmas, what would happen if he stayed in Britain for the holiday would be even better. He wanted to say, Take me with you. I won’t be seventeen for a month, but who gives a shite? My parents won’t, and I won’t get in your parents’ way too much.
Remus’ warm breath fanned his chest and throat. Sirius doubted either of them had the strength to rise and climb the stairs to the dorm. It was all right. It was only a little after one; they had some hours before dawn, before the other Gryffindors woke and came downstairs.
Sirius felt the heat leaving their bodies and seeping into the night. There were so many things he wanted to say, but it was too soon, he told himself. They had only been together since August. This would be their first time apart since then. And it would only be for two weeks. How much could possibly change in two weeks?
Sirius stopped tracing idle circles in Remus’ skin and hugged the other boy close. Remus lay so still, but his heart still hammered erratically, too erratically for Sirius to memorize the feel of it.
He thought about making a joke - about poor Footpad, perhaps, squashed in the pocket of his robe, or about James the unfortunate voyeur - because he wanted to hear Remus laugh once more before they parted. But when he opened his mouth all he could do was entreat, “Hurry back.”
11/23/04