[fic] The Dangers of Improper Usage (Star Trek: Reboot)
The Dangers of Improper Usage
Fandom: Star Trek: Reboot
Rating: all ages
Characters: Uhura, Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, and some guys with tentacles
Summary: The one where Uhura saves the day with grammar.
A/N: Written for the Where No Woman Has Drabbled Before challenge at where-no-woman. The prompt was "Uhura - fierce." 468 words.
As the cell door slid open, Uhura couldn't resist putting her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows. (She'd been practicing raising only one, but she didn't quite have it yet. Spock had assured her that the more time she spent around the captain, the easier it would get.)
Kirk stumbled out first, looking decidedly the worse for wear. "Lieutenant," he said. His surprised gaze took in the Erg guard positioned on either side of her. "Ah. What are you doing here?"
"Saving you, Captain. When we heard you'd been imprisoned, we played back the recording of your meeting with the Erg king and I figured out what went wrong. I've negotiated your release."
"Ah-ha. Well." Kirk scratched at the back of his neck. "Good work, Lieutenant." He certainly looked ready to be out of there, as did the rest of the landing party. McCoy sported a black eye and Sulu's right hand was bound with a strip of fabric that had obviously been torn from his gold tunic.
"But Captain," Uhura said sweetly, "wouldn't you like to know what you did incorrectly?"
"I think," said Kirk, "that it can wait until-"
"What the hell did we do wrong?" McCoy interrupted. "We certainly didn't threaten the Erg. As far as I know, we didn't commit any faux pas."
Kirk shot him an annoyed look, then shrugged and turned back to Uhura. "Fine. In the interest of improving relations between the Federation and the Erg - what did we do wrong?"
"Just you, Captain," said Uhura, relishing the moment rather a little more than was probably appropriate. "Apparently you said something complimentary about the hospitality of the Erg, something about lying on comfortable divans and-"
"Yes!" said Kirk. "That’s what I said, and then the Erg king's daughter-"
Uhura cut him off: "Apparently, Captain, you said 'laying' instead of 'lying.' The universal translator must have had some sort of…hiccup…because the Erg king thought that you were telling him how pleasant it was to do…something entirely different. In front of his daughter."
The Erg on Uhura's right tapped her shoulder with a tentacle. She looked up at him - or her, it was hard to tell - and was told, "I have been instructed to inform your captain that our princess is still willing to marry him, if he will go through with the initiation ceremony." Beneath the translation, the Erg's voice was a sucking, gurgling sound, the kind you make when you pull your foot out of thick mud.
"And if he won't?" said Uhura.
The Erg lifted his/her tentacles in what she took to be a shrug. "He is cute, but our princess can do better."
Uhura turned back to Kirk and flashed him a smile. "Well, Captain?"
Kirk gave her a harried look. "Let's get out of here," he said.
6/25/2009
Fandom: Star Trek: Reboot
Rating: all ages
Characters: Uhura, Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, and some guys with tentacles
Summary: The one where Uhura saves the day with grammar.
A/N: Written for the Where No Woman Has Drabbled Before challenge at where-no-woman. The prompt was "Uhura - fierce." 468 words.
As the cell door slid open, Uhura couldn't resist putting her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows. (She'd been practicing raising only one, but she didn't quite have it yet. Spock had assured her that the more time she spent around the captain, the easier it would get.)
Kirk stumbled out first, looking decidedly the worse for wear. "Lieutenant," he said. His surprised gaze took in the Erg guard positioned on either side of her. "Ah. What are you doing here?"
"Saving you, Captain. When we heard you'd been imprisoned, we played back the recording of your meeting with the Erg king and I figured out what went wrong. I've negotiated your release."
"Ah-ha. Well." Kirk scratched at the back of his neck. "Good work, Lieutenant." He certainly looked ready to be out of there, as did the rest of the landing party. McCoy sported a black eye and Sulu's right hand was bound with a strip of fabric that had obviously been torn from his gold tunic.
"But Captain," Uhura said sweetly, "wouldn't you like to know what you did incorrectly?"
"I think," said Kirk, "that it can wait until-"
"What the hell did we do wrong?" McCoy interrupted. "We certainly didn't threaten the Erg. As far as I know, we didn't commit any faux pas."
Kirk shot him an annoyed look, then shrugged and turned back to Uhura. "Fine. In the interest of improving relations between the Federation and the Erg - what did we do wrong?"
"Just you, Captain," said Uhura, relishing the moment rather a little more than was probably appropriate. "Apparently you said something complimentary about the hospitality of the Erg, something about lying on comfortable divans and-"
"Yes!" said Kirk. "That’s what I said, and then the Erg king's daughter-"
Uhura cut him off: "Apparently, Captain, you said 'laying' instead of 'lying.' The universal translator must have had some sort of…hiccup…because the Erg king thought that you were telling him how pleasant it was to do…something entirely different. In front of his daughter."
The Erg on Uhura's right tapped her shoulder with a tentacle. She looked up at him - or her, it was hard to tell - and was told, "I have been instructed to inform your captain that our princess is still willing to marry him, if he will go through with the initiation ceremony." Beneath the translation, the Erg's voice was a sucking, gurgling sound, the kind you make when you pull your foot out of thick mud.
"And if he won't?" said Uhura.
The Erg lifted his/her tentacles in what she took to be a shrug. "He is cute, but our princess can do better."
Uhura turned back to Kirk and flashed him a smile. "Well, Captain?"
Kirk gave her a harried look. "Let's get out of here," he said.
6/25/2009