(no subject)
It's been a tough week.
But it's over.
It's not easy to accept happiness.
I'm always so scared to be happy,
sort of like I think that if I enjoy it someone will take it from me.
I'm scared to death that I might lose all I've gained these past months.
I'm scared that I'll never be this happy again.
I hate how dependent I am on other people to make me happy.
I seriously started to question my sanity there for a few days.
I think I just needed to cry, sit in my car by the lake and smoke cigarettes and cry.
And I did.
And I feel better now.
I don't plan on losing him.
I don't plan on losing anyone else anytime soon.
But it's over.
It's not easy to accept happiness.
I'm always so scared to be happy,
sort of like I think that if I enjoy it someone will take it from me.
I'm scared to death that I might lose all I've gained these past months.
I'm scared that I'll never be this happy again.
I hate how dependent I am on other people to make me happy.
I seriously started to question my sanity there for a few days.
I think I just needed to cry, sit in my car by the lake and smoke cigarettes and cry.
And I did.
And I feel better now.
I don't plan on losing him.
I don't plan on losing anyone else anytime soon.